Tatort (since 1970). Context: Germany’s most iconic and long-running police procedural. Illustration: Police officers and detectives routinely evaluate each other’s work, discuss cases, and give feedback in a direct, matter-of-fact manner. Criticism and praise are focused on investigative results and adherence to procedure, not personal attributes.
Sandwich Method
The sandwich method is describes the American approach to giving negative feedback. Its goal is to communicate criticism in a way which will avoid demotivating the other person. Like a sandwich with a slice a bread on both the top and the bottom, praise is given at the beginning and the end of the feedback talk. In the middle is the substance of the conversation, the points of criticism. Open with praise. Communicate criticism. Close with praise.
Is there anything new about this? Research on the American approach to communicating criticism over the last fifty to one hundred years would probably show that it is not. American ears know to listen carefully after the positive has been said. They listen for the nuances, the terms used, especially the euphemisms. This makes it all the more complex and difficult to understand for non-Americans, regardless of strong their command of the English language.
„You did a fine job.“
sachlich bleiben
Sachlich bleiben. Literal translation: “Stay objective.” Meaning: Encourages people to remain neutral, factual, and unemotional, especially in discussions or when providing feedback.
not in all friendship
In aller Freundschaft (In All Friendship). Context: A long-running hospital drama. Illustration: Doctors and nurses provide feedback to each other about medical decisions, teamwork, and patient care. Assessments are clinical and objective, reflecting the real-world culture of German healthcare where performance is evaluated separately from personal relationships.
The Family Lawyer
Die Familenanwältin (The Family Lawyer). This series follows lawyer Hanna Lorenz as she navigates both professional and personal upheaval. Within her law firm, Hanna and her colleagues often face conflicts and differing opinions on cases. The show highlights how the characters handle professional disagreements directly and objectively, while still supporting each other in personal matters.
Too rude
Leon Lederman, the author of the book The God Particle (Higgs Boson) originally wanted to call it The Goddamn Particle because the particle was proving very difficult to find, but his publishers thought that this sounded too rude.
Higgs Boson is a particle which is largely responsible for the mass of subatomic particles. It took almost five decades after the particle was first postulated to find it, largely because of the high energy needed to produce it and how quickly it decays into smaller particles.
Books on advice-giving
When typing in „advice“ into amazon(dot)com – USA – roughly 140,000 books are listed. When inputting Ratgeber (literally advice-givers) into amazon(dot)de – Germany – about 640,000 books are listed.
There 320 million people in the U.S. In Germany there are 80 million. The American population is four times larger than the German. However, there are four times more books written in Germany on giving advice than in the U.S.
The Germans give advice and the Germans take advice.
Hart aber Fair
Hart aber fair – Hard but Fair – is a very popular weekly 75-minute talkshow in Germany about political topics. The moderator, Frank Plasberg, and his guests take on especially current and controversial issues.
As the name of the show suggests the discussions are open, lively and controversial. The show is well prepared and well structured. Ideological speech-making is blocked. Facts and logical argumentation are critical.
Between five and six guests are invited representing politics, academia, non-governmental organizations as well as “the man or woman off the street.”
The guests are carefully selected to represent the specific sides of the argument. The show’s research staff provides background information during certain segments.
Friend. Freund.
What is a friend?
MerriamWebster online writes: a person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something; one attached to another by affection or esteem; a favored companion.
Middle English frend, from Old English frēond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frēon to love, frēo free. First Known Use: before 12th century. Among its synonyms are alter ego, amgo, buddy, chum, compadre. comrade, confidant, crony, familiar, intimate, pal.
What is a Freund?
dwds(dot)de writes: Vertrauter, someone you can trust; jemandem innerlich verbundener Mensch, a person who is especially close to another. Old High German (8th Century) vriunt, friend, next closest, mate, relative.
This is not the place to address how Americans and Germans diverge in the understanding of friend, friendship, what it means to be a friend. But here is a thought:
Is it not the true friend who has your best interests in mind, and therefore is willing to risk the loss of your friendship in order to convey a message which is painfully important for you to hear?
Formulated differently: What true friend, who sees that you are on the wrong path, would not speak to you about it?
entirely uninterested
Franz Kafka – Der Prozess (The Trial, 1925). Kafka’s portrayal of bureaucracy and impersonal authority highlights the cold, rational, and often emotionless nature of institutional feedback and evaluation. The protagonist is judged and processed by a system that is entirely uninterested in personal circumstances, focusing solely on procedural and performance-based criteria.