Patterns – Countries – Page 109

“I won’t accept this prize“

In 2008 leading literary pundit Marcel Reich-Ranicki was supposed to receive the German television award for his life’s work. Reich-Ranicki also came to the awards show and listened to the laudation by Thomas Gottschalk. However, in his thank-you address he had little thanks left for the award that he a just been presented with.

Instead, he explained, that he had already received many important prizes in his life, and that it had never been difficult for him to say thank you. But today, he was “in a very horrible situation“, as he was forced to “somehow react” to the prize which he had received, and was asked to be “not too harsh”.

“I don’t want to offend anyone. No, I don‘t want to do that. But I would just like to come out and say that I will not accept this prize. If the prize had come with money I would have given the money back, but it didn’t come with money. I can only fling this object […] away from me, or throw it at someone’s feet. I cannot accept it! And I also found it terrible to have to suffer this event for five hours.”

Reich-Ranicki’s speech left his audience perplexed. During his speech the cameras continued to capture shocked expressions amongst the members of the audience, here and there and embarrassed grin, a few laughs. Reich-Raniki was bold enough to call the German Television award, which many of the attending actors and producers used to sing their own praises, ‘rubbish’. Freely and without restraint. Controversial. Typical Reich-Ranicki.

Willing to argue

The dictionary defines streitbar as follows: [constantly] prepared, having the will to, argue, with someone over something, to critically and activelydispute something; to fight for or about something, to take a stand for something or someone, a fighter; [older] prepared for battle; warrior-like, brave.

The adjective streitbar has a very positive connotation in the German language. In recalling famous persons one often reads the sentence Er war streitbar – he was streitbar.

Politicians are ever more frequently characterized as being streitbar. Streitbar does not mean that one seeks out conflicts in a negative sense. Rather, it means to stand up for ones beliefs, and not avoid serious confrontations.

The Dragon Slayer

At the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall Wolf Bierman, a famous songwriter and harsh critic of the former East German regine, was invited to speak to the German Bundestag.

Instead of singing, Biermann addressed a few words towards Bundestags President Norbert Lammert: “Mr. Lammert, I am glad that you lured me here. And as I know you to have a sarcastic sense of humor, I already have some idea that you were hoping that I would take a few jabs at Die Linken (the far-left political party made up of primarily former East German communists), but this I cannot deliver. I my career as a dragon slayer is over.”

Lammert: “I too can help you, Mr. Biermann, with a tip about our house rules. As soon as you run for office in the German Bundestag and are elected, then you may speak here. Today you were invited to sing.“

Biermann: “Yes, but of course I did not accept keeping my mouth shut in former East Germany, and I certainly will not do so here. A dragon slayer cannot bravely take down the remaining hoard of dragons in one fell swoop. You have been beaten. [light applause] And for me it is punishment enough that you must sit here. […] And so you are all destined to sit here and tolerate this, and I will indulge you. […] I know that those who sit here are the pathetic remnants of that which has fortunately been conquered, and I am happy to be able to sing a song here “The Encouragement“. […] I altered you with those songs while you were all still in power.“

A time for celebration. The opportunity to celebrate the reunification of Germany. A few nice words. Words of reconciliation, perhaps. But they missed their mark. Even in such a moment it continued to be important to Biermann to remain critical and to criticize; to not let himself be ‘lulled into’. Showing bravery in the face of controversy.

Sensitive topics

Topics which in one culture would be considered sensitive (controversial) may not be considered so in another culture. This is the case with the German and the American cultures.

In discussions with Germans – friendly, respectful, but well-informed, interested, and critical-minded – it is not uncommon for them to raise the following topics with their American counterpart:

The wars in Afghanistan and Irak, U.S. drone strikes in the Middle East and Pakistan, the base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, the Abu Ghuraib scandal, CIA-sponsored torture, the murder rate in the U.S., gun owneship and NRA influence, the increasing gap between rich and poor, the NSA spying scandal, the ominous power of Google, Apple, FaceBook and American-dominated social media.

Compare and contrast

Duden, the famous German dictionary, defines kontrovers: entgegengesetzt (opposite, contrary), strittig (contestable, debatable), umstritten (contended, contentious). Synonyms are: gegensätzlich (opposed, antithetic), in sich uneins (in disagreement), widersprüchlich (contradictory), zwiespältig (conflicting, ambivalent), anfechtbar (challengable), angreifbar (attackable, vulnerable), kritisierbar (open to criticism), disputabel (disputable). From the Latin controversus: facing or standing against; contra: against and versus.

Entgegen. Gegen. Wider. All meaning against. Germans like clarity. Not black and white, but take a position. This or that. In many ways the German people defines itself by comparing itself over and against other peoples, in how they think, act, work, live.

Comic Con

One way that Americans move quickly from small to big talk is holding events centered around a common theme. These themes can be anything from the Information in Engineering Conference to MerCon (a mermaid-themed conference). At these conferences, it’s customary for people to only use a little small talk, then quickly segue into big talk based on the conference theme.

One of the best known examples of one of these events is Comic Con.

The first Comic Con was held in San Diego in 1970, when a group of comic and science fiction fans decided to showcase some of their favorite comic books and other forms of popular art.

The one day event was such a large success, attracting about 100 people, that its founders decided to throw a three day convention later that year (which attracted over 300 people).

Over the decades, Comic Cons have become so popular that they can be found all over the world, and some of the bigger events can have more than 200,000 people in attendance.

Reasons for Small Talk

If you type into Google „reasons for small talk“ or „why small talk“ or „purpose of small talk“, it will respond with numerous links to people – experts and amateurs – who typically state anywhere between five and ten reasons.

Small talk: Signals the mood of the other person; finds topics of common ground; fills in a communication vacuum; establishes trust; is a possible introduction to big talk topics; identifies issues which might be too sensitive to address; can communicate interest, care, even affection; allows one to overcome their own shyness.

But what about introverts, those who prefer to discuss topics of substance?

Find Commonalities

In his book Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion, American psychology and marketing professor Robert Beno Cialdini lists likability as one of the 6 key principles of influence.

And a way to get people to like you, Cialdini argues, is to “rapidly seek out commonalities” with that person. Moreover, the connection doesn’t have to be unique or meaningful – a shared interest in sports or a similar vacation location are both sufficient to help make someone like you.

Small talk allows people to find commonalities quickly, and thus to have influence over each other right from the beginning.

Informal. Unimportant.

MerriamWebster tells us that small talk is: informal, friendly conversation about unimportant topics. It is light, casual conversation. „They made small talk while waiting for the meeting to start.“

Or „At the corporate get-together we made the obligatory small talk with some people from the home office.“ First known use 1751. Synonyms: backchat, cackle, chatter, chitchat, gab, gossop, natter, palaver, table talk.

Facebook. The world’s largest social media space. Small talk on a global scale. A business model. Quintessentially American.

Gift of gab

In his post on Forbes online – Six Reasons Small Talk Is Very Important and How To Get Better At It – Brett Nelson writes:

„Whether getting a job, working with colleagues, winning new clients, entertaining existing ones, all of it requires small talk. You better have the gift of gab.“

He then quotes from How To Get A Job On Wall Street, written by Scott Hoover, Associate Professor of Finance at Washington and Lee University: “In trying to generate business, the deal pitch is obviously critical. What is not so obvious is that simple, seemingly innocuous conversation with potential clients can be just as important. Companies want to hire people who can think on their feet.”

MerriamWebster defines gab as: to talk a lot in an informal way usually about things that are not important or serious; to talk in a rapid or thoughtless manner. First know use 1786. Synonyms: babble, blab, cackle, chatter, chat, jabber, rattle, run on, schmooze, talk, twitter.