The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther Greenwood’s experiences in the workplace and as an intern are shaped by feedback from supervisors and colleagues. Praise boosts her confidence, while criticism is felt as a personal setback, illustrating the emotional impact of feedback and the intertwining of personal and professional spheres.
reflection of personal worth
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. The March sisters’ growth is closely tied to feedback from family, friends, and mentors. Jo, in particular, responds emotionally to feedback on her writing and work, viewing it as a reflection of her personal worth and aspirations.
deeply personal
9 to 5 (1980). Three women, frustrated by their sexist boss, band together to improve their toxic workplace. The feedback they receive – dismissal, condescension, and lack of recognition – is deeply personal and motivates them to take action. Their eventual success is celebrated as both professional and personal vindication.
emotionally charged
Jerry Maguire (1996). After a moral crisis, sports agent Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) is fired for his ideals but finds new purpose by building genuine, personal relationships with his clients. Feedback from clients and colleagues is emotionally charged and transformative, showing how professional evaluation in America is inextricably linked to personal values and identity.
Bringing back directness
Texas trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher comes from the land of bless-your-heart politeness but says pleasantries threaten workplace culture.
“There’s this tendency to tiptoe around the heart of the matter,” he says. “It’s not going to go well for you over time, and you’re going to find that people will trust you less.”
In the future, offices could become even more passive-aggressive, unless we practice the art of disagreement. The Wall Street Journal spoke with Fisher, author of “The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More,” about how to bring directness back to the workplace.
Joe McCarthy
McCarthy Hearings (1954). Senator Joseph McCarthy’s anti-communist investigations targeted the personal loyalties and reputations of government officials, military officers, and private citizens. Accusations of professional disloyalty were treated as attacks on personal character, often resulting in ruined careers and social ostracism—highlighting how, in American public life, professional and personal assessments are inseparable.
Euphemisms
Because Americans find it difficult separate what they say from the person they are saying it to – especially in the case of criticism – they strive to use softer, more indirect language, including euphemisms: mild or indirect words or expressions substituted for ones considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.
Examples of euphemisms: pre-owned car instead of a used car, sex worker instead of a prostitute, to be between jobs instead of to be unemployed, senior citizen instead of old person, underserved neighborhood or underserved population instead of the poor, or an impoverished, needy neighborhood.
Further examples: economically disadvantaged instead of poor; temporary negative cash flow instead of broke; enhanced interrogation methods instead of torture; collateral damage instead of civilian deaths.
About George Carlin.
Dezent präsent
Dezent präsent: discreetly present.
There are some things which the Germans do not address openly. One is money, salary, personal wealth. If they have much, they avoid showing it. Boasting, bragging, swaggering in any way is considered to be very bad taste.
Respected and honored are those with wealth who live it in a dezent (discreet) way. This is true especially for senior-level executives who demonstrate deep subject-area expertise combined with a staid, conservative manner or demeanor.
“Showmasters” and “speech-makers” in Germany can be entertaining, at times even motivating. But those who are truly listened to and valued are those who put substance (subject matter) before form (person).
Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, former Minister of Commerce, then Minister of Defense, is a case in point. When he became minister in 2009 it was clear from the outset that there was a rather slick public relations approach to highlighting his political work and private life.
Guttenberg was a constant presence in the German media: the worldly man about town at Times Square in New York City; the rough and tough man dressed in a special forces uniform visiting the troops in Afghanistan; and as a man of the people on the popular variety tv-show “Wetten, daß ….?”
Guttenberg became very popular very quickly. He had brought fresh air into stodgy German politics. Over time, however, he gained more and more critics, who began to question his expertise. When it was then proven that he had plagiarized in his doctoral dissertation, he resigned his office in disgrace and disappeared from the German political scene.
Friend. Freund.
What is a friend?
MerriamWebster online writes: a person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something; one attached to another by affection or esteem; a favored companion.
Middle English frend, from Old English frēond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frēon to love, frēo free. First Known Use: before 12th century. Among its synonyms are alter ego, amgo, buddy, chum, compadre. comrade, confidant, crony, familiar, intimate, pal.
What is a Freund?
dwds(dot)de writes: Vertrauter, someone you can trust; jemandem innerlich verbundener Mensch, a person who is especially close to another. Old High German (8th Century) vriunt, friend, next closest, mate, relative.
This is not the place to address how Americans and Germans diverge in the understanding of friend, friendship, what it means to be a friend. But here is a thought:
Is it not the true friend who has your best interests in mind, and therefore is willing to risk the loss of your friendship in order to convey a message which is painfully important for you to hear?
Formulated differently: What true friend, who sees that you are on the wrong path, would not speak to you about it?