Agreements – Page 10 – understand-culture

Knowledge and Integrity

Integrity is valued very highly in Germany. And the German are considered to be of high integrity, especially when it comes to their work.

German integrity was damaged by recent scandals in academia and medicine. The German Minister of Defense, Carl-Theodor Guttenberg, resigned from office after well-grounded claims cited him of plagiarism in his doctoral thesis of years ago.

Since then, another high-ranking German politician has resigned from office for the same reason. And a second member of Angela Merkel’s cabinet has resigned under investigation for plagiarism in her Ph.D. thesis. The German academic community is enraged. The integrity of their work has been called into question. The German public is no less disgusted.

A network of medical physicians is also under investigation for corruption. Surgeons have been paying bribes to general practitioners – family doctors – for referring their patients to them for operations, many of which were unnecessary.

Shocking for the German public. At a minimum, Germans expect the highest standards of integrity from the academic and medical professions.

Conscientious, diligent: Organizations with flat hierarchies rely on conscientious and diligent employees. These are people with very high standards, who under no circumstances tolerate suboptimal work, shortcuts or easy approaches, even those which could benefit them personally and professionally. The Germans take pride in being known for their diligence, scruples, honesty.

Figures of speech: Etwas mit seinem Gewissen vereinbaren. To be in agreement, in line with one’s own conscience. Mit bestem Wissen und Gewissen. With best knowledge and conscience. Gewissensbisse. Literally conscience bite.

Skepticism. German have a reputation for being skeptical. But the term skepsis is positive in Germany. It means to first ask critical questions before agreeing to something. And until those questions are answered, Germans remain doubtful. Their skepsis is often misunderstood as rejection. It is simply distance, reticence, reluctance, caution.

Figures of speech: Bedenken in den Wind schlagen. To toss doubt or misgivings to the wind. Den Tag nicht vor dem Abend loben. Don’t praise the day before the night has arrived. Nicht auf die leichte Schulter nehmen. Literally don‘t accept things on a light shoulder, meaning don’t underestimate the situation.

Conversation as Interview

Germans like to get to the point quickly. They are more interested in the content than the person. They know before the meeting what they want to learn, hear, the information they seek. The conversation is often more of an interview than a discussion, as if they came prepared with a list of questions.

Figures of speech: Es gibt keine blöden Fragen. Es gibt nur blöde Antworten. There are no stupid questions. There are only stupid answers. Gut gefragt, ist halb gewonnen. The right question is half the right answer. Fragen kostet nichts. Asking doesn’t cost anything. Fangfrage. Trick question.

Löcher in den Bauch fragen. Literally translated: to shoot holes (with questions) in the other person‘s stomach. Preisfrage. Price question. Das kommt nicht in Frage. Literally, that does not come into question, or absolutely not.

No Surprises

Germans like to receive nicely wrapped presents. At the same time they are no fans of surprises. Not even at Christmas or on birthdays. On the contrary, they really do prefer to know in advance what is in the package.

They do their research before they make even everyday purchases. Which product is the right one? Have they had any negative experiences with it? What are the alternatives? How much more or less expensive is the alternative?

This is why the German consumer often asks the salesperson if the product can be returned. They seldom feel sure that what they buy is exactly what they need.

Germans, for example, never plan a vacation without doing intensive research, unless of course they are returning to a well-known destination, which many of them do in order to reduce the risk of disappointment.

85 billion Euros a year, that is the amount German spend on travel – the highest in the world. Nonetheless, they most likely do the most research before deciding. Numerous websites are looked at, comments good and bad are read critically, photos from the vacation destinations compared, maps surveyed, travel guides studied carefully, friends and acquaintances asked.

Then finally the decision is made, the trip is booked. The research has just begun, however. What‘s the use of booking a trip if you don’t plan well what you‘ll do during it? Climate. Transportation. Sightseeing. Shopping. Shop hours. Restaurants and prices. Day-trips. Health care should anyone get sick or injured. Front loading.

Why we find it hard to say no

To learn to say no, we have to first understand what’s resisting us about it. Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say no:

You want to help. You don’t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into your time.

Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying “No”, especially to people who are more senior, is rude.

Wanting to be agreeable. You don’t want to alienate yourself from the group because you’re not in agreement.

Fear of conflict. You are afraid the person might be angry if you reject him/her.

Fear of lost opportunities. Perhaps you are worried saying no means closing doors. didn’t want to say no as she felt it would affect her promotion opportunities in the future.

Not burning bridges. Some people take “no” as a sign of rejection. It might lead to bridges being burned and relationships severed.

From Celestine Chua of The Personal Excellence Blog.

When to say No

“When to say No”, from the Mayo Clinic website on stress management:

Focus on what matters most. Examine your obligations and priorities before making any new commitments.

Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Is the new activity you’re considering a short- or long-term commitment?

Take guilt out of the equation. Don’t agree to a request you would rather decline out of guilt or obligation.

Sleep on it. Before you respond, take a day to think about the request and how it fits in with your current commitments.

How to say no.

Say no. The word no has power. Don’t be afraid to use it. Be careful about using substitutes phrases, such as “I’m not sure” or “I don’t think I can.”

Be brief. State your reason for refusing the request, but don’t go on about it. Avoid elaborate justifications or explanations.

Be honest. Don’t fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.

Be respectful. Many good causes land at your door, and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the group’s effort while saying that you can’t commit shows that you respect what they’re trying to accomplish.

Be ready to repeat. You may need to refuse a request several times before the other person accepts your response. Calmly repeat your no, with or without your original rationale, as needed.

Definition of No

MerriamWebster writes: to give a negative answer or reply to a question or request, or offer in a way that shows a negative response; used to introduce a statement that corrects an earlier statement; used as a function word to express the negative or an alternative choice or possibility; used to express negation, dissent, denial, or refusal.

Middle English, from Old English nā, from ne not + ā always; akin to Old Norse & Old High German ne not, Latin ne-, Greek nē- . First Known Use: before 12th century. Its synonyms are never, none, nothing, noway, nowise.

So uncomfortable (unbequem) and unpleasant (unangenehm) for Americas ears and eyes – no, negation, dissent, denial, refusal.

Renege

Going back on an agreement is so common in American culture that there are many words and phrases to describe this action. Some of these include:

Abrogate – To end or cancel an agreement in a formal and official way; to fail to do what is required (such as a responsibility). From Latin abrogates: ab- + rogare to ask, propose a law. First known use: 1526. Example: The U.S. Congress can abrogate old treaties that are unfair to Native Americans.

Back Out – To withdraw especially from a commitment or contest. First known use: 1807. Example: She backed out of her offer to help with the wedding plans.

Bail Out – To parachute from an aircraft; to abandon a harmful or difficult situation. First known use: 1930. Example: If the negotiations don’t work, we may decide to bail out of our contract.

Cop Out – To back out (as of an unwanted responsibility; to avoid or neglect problems, responsibilities, or commitments. First known use: 1952. Example: Don’t cop out on your promise to pay for dinner.

Go Back On – To be treacherous or faithless to; betray; to fail to keep; renege on. First known use: 1859. Example: He went back on his promises.

Pull Out – Leave, depart; withdraw. First known use: 1855. Example: The company manager decided to pull out of her contract when it stopped being profitable.

Recant – To publicly say that you no longer have an opinion, belief, etc. that you once had. From Latin recantare: re- + cantare to sing. First known use: 1535. Example: Witnesses threatened to recant their testimony when the court released their names to the paper.

Renege – To refuse to do something that you promised or agreed to do. From Medieval Latin renegare. First known use: 1548. Example: My friend promised to help me move, only to renege the next day.

Take Back – to make a retraction of; withdraw. First known use: 1775. Example: I take back what I said about the business: they’re not as amazing as I thought they were.

Weasel Out – To evade a responsibility, especially in a despicable manner; renege. Example: I agreed to help my neighbor, now I just need to find a way to weasel out of it.

Withdraw – To remove (money) from a bank account; to take (something) back so that it is no longer available; to take back (something that is spoken, offered, etc.). From Middle English: with + drawn to draw. First known use: 13th Century. Example: After difficulties with communication, the customer decided to withdraw from his contract with the company.

Arrested Development

The American television show Arrested Development which aired from 2003 to 2006 and was revived in 2013, follows the story of a wealthy family that recently lost their money in a scandal involving the family’s real estate business.

In the first episode Michael Bluth becomes CEO and President of the Bluth Company after his father is arrested for crimes involving the company. Immediately all of their assets are frozen, and they have to get by with very little money. Most of the family moves into one house together, and Michael sells their car and jet in order to have a little money.

Despite their sudden loss of funds everyone except Michael tries to keep living extravagant lifestyles, and whenever Michael finds out about his family’s excessive spending and low-income, he tells them ‘no.’

For example, Michael refuses to buy his brother Gob small items like desk lamps or frozen bananas, and he doesn’t support his career as a magician. He also refuses to let Gob live in the family house, and tells him that he can’t live in the family boat or at the company office either.

Whenever Gob has ideas about the company (most of which are illegal) Michael tells him no. When Gob tries to escape from prison by jumping from a balcony (around 30 feet in the air) onto Michael to break his fall, Michael also tells him no. And this is only a small sample of the times Michael tells Gob no, not to mention the numerous times he uses this word with the rest of the family.

Despite his efforts to help save the family and their business (and turning down good job offers to do so) his constant ‚no’ keeps the family from appreciating him. The other members of the family often describe him negatively, calling him such things as selfish, robot, and chicken, and at one point, Michael and his sister Lindsay discuss Michael’s helpfulness:

Lindsay: “You’re, like, the least charitable person I know.”

Michael: “I don’t do anything for myself; everything that I do is for this family.”

Lindsay: “You don’t do it for us. You just do it because you love being the guy in charge, because you love saying ‘no.’”

“Don’t jump on me!”

Can-do people

Can-do: Marked by willingness to tackle a job and get it done; characterized by eagerness to accept and meet challenges; a can-do kind of person; first Known Use of Can-Do: 1945.

Perhaps the most famous fictitious can-do American and cultural icon is Rosie the Riveter. Rosie represents the American women who labored in urban factories and replaced men who had left to fight in the Second World War. Rosie represented the ideal American laborer: loyal, efficient, patriotic, and pretty. Throughout history and up to the present, Rosie the Riveter is traditionally used as a symbol of women’s economic prowess and feminism.

Seldom does an American feel comfortable saying no to a customer, a boss or to a colleague. A no signals either lack of ability or lack of effort or both. Responding with a no to a request leads to that person – customer, boss, colleague – turning to others for assistance. And that means a loss of business.

Westinghouse Company’s War Production Committee commissioned Pittsburgh artist J. Howard Miller in 1942 to create a series of posters to boost public support for the war effort. The “We Can Do It!” poster came to be associated with “Rosie the Riveter.”

Nike Inc.’s “JUST DO IT.” trademark normally appears alongside the Nike logo, the Swoosh. Nike’s share of the domestic sport-shoe business rose from 18% to 43% from 1988 to 1998.

IBM’s slogan is a playful use of IT as in Information Technology and the pronoun “it.” The slogan boasts competence and forward movement in the world of technology.

Dell Computer’s slogan advocates for seizing the day, or “carpe diem,” and exploiting it. It argues for deriving more function and greater satisfaction from the present moment.

“At any given time“

Americans like their way of entering into and managing agreements. Flexibility is critical. They move fast, change directions just as quickly. Americans reassess constantly, initiate and react. All this, often with many people involved: colleagues, business partners, customers.

Fluid, flexible, fast. So, too, the agreements Americans enter into. Agreements change. High priority, low priority. Now, later. This way, that way. Yes becomes no. No becomes yes. Whatever gets the job done.

Americans are practical and pragmatic. At times uncoordinated, sloppy, ill-planned, impatient. It’s a big country. There is a lot going on. Agreements are what they are, at any given time.