Germany – Page 37 – understand-culture

Germans aren’t big on Small Talk

When my German girlfriend came here to New York years ago, she told me, “you are not going to believe this! I sat down at a cafe, and the waitress said ‘how are you?’ She didn’t even know me!” (a comment on YouTube)

So that’s why Germans are good at stuff, no bullshit, straight to the point. (another comment on YouTube)

This is by far my favourite episode right now. The lady with the grey sweater is HILARIOUS, she made me laugh out loud. But hey, why should we do small talk anyway? It’s a British concept and people are not obliged to conform themselves ! (yet another comment)

Interesting. Very insightful and helpful. I find that Germans sometimes feel uncomfortable talking with strangers. It appears to be the case in your video as well. But also it seems that the longer you talk to them the more comfortable and open they become. I suppose this is true anywhere you go but Germans appear to be a bit less interested in small talk. So I think persistence pays off when trying to start a conversation with Germans. (a great comment … persistence!)

Are Germans Too Direct?

Learn German with our street interviews: In this episode we deal with a common prejudice, namely: Germans are always very direct! We find out for you on the streets of Berlin whether this is actually always true and in which situations in particular.

YouTube comments:

“I’ll never forget when visiting a friend in Germany for the first time: He was with another friend and they saw a mutual acquaintance at a cafe. ‘We know that man, we went to school together.’ ‘Want to go over and say hello?’ ‘No. Later he became stupid, so we don’t talk to him anymore.’ I loved the blunt honesty.”

“I like how a lot of the people who said no said it very directly, and emphatically. Lol, I have German heritage, and it feels right.”

“Honestly, the directness in Germany as a precise way to tell things that need to be fastly adressed, instead of running in circles (or plainly just not speaking) to avoid offending someone like we in other coubtries do, makes my life easier as in my hometown in Latin America, in that way I find social rules way simpler, gets problems solved faster. On the other side, sometimes people (the least of them) confuse directness with plain aggression, there are things that simply are not needed to be told.”

Schäuble: Criticism of German know-it-alls

Wolfgang Schäuble (CDU) sees German politics as increasingly isolated. The senior president and record holder in the Bundestag urges moral restraint.

50 years in the Bundestag. A number that invites you to become fundamental. And that’s exactly what Wolfgang Schäuble did in conversation with Markus Lanz. “We are world leaders when it comes to moral know-it-alls,” he said on Wednesday evening about the attitude of German politics and society these days.

“Everybody is police”

An Iranian in Berlin complains about being told not to ride his bicycle on the sidewalk. “Everbody in Germany is a police.”

YouTube comments:

“‘Are you hobbylos?’ Only Germans say that.” … “Great way to catch a stick in the spokes, Mate.” … “Is he evidently unaware of traffic rules and in dire need of this reprimand?” … “That’s just called pedestrian safety. Stay on the bike lane or the street.”

For those people tending to sympathize with this guy complaining about Germany and the Germans, see below how traffic is organized in Iran:

Supermarket checkout

At the supermarket check out somewhere in Germany. Cashier to customers: “28,35 Euro”. The customers silently passes the 50 Euro bill to the cashier. “21,65 is your change”. The customer packs up his groceries and leaves the store.

This type of limited conversation at the supermarket check out is not a rarity. Until a couple of years ago this was a common interaction. Nowadays, you will get a “good day” or “have a nice day” from the cashier before he puts the groceries in your shopping cart to make space for the next customer.

However, the cashier would never ask the flour- and sugar-buying customer if they are going to bake today. Furthermore, if a customer buys cereal and milk the cashier would never ask, with a winky face, if they are someone that likes breakfast for dinner. The cashier would also not say how much he likes cookies if someone was buying some. The check out is a place where you pay, not for small talk.

Schweigen ist Gold

“Speech is silver. Silence is gold.” German children are taught to only speak when they have something intelligent to say. Idle banter – to speak or act playfully or wittily – is viewed as superficial, a lack of education, poor upbringing. It is considered impolite.

More books about Small Talk

Amazon Germany lists 196 books with ‘small talk’ in their title. The best sellers are Small Talk für Dummies, Small Talk – Nie Wieder Sprachlos (Never Again Speechless) and Small Talk – Die Besten Themen (The Best Topics).

The typical table of contents reads: What is small talk? What purpose does small talk serve? In what situations do you use small talk? When can small talk be dangerous or uncalled for? When do you need small talk? What topics are appropriate in small talk? Which topics are dangerous in small talk? Small talk and body language. How to react to small talk? How to deal with small talk in difficult situations?

Nearly two hundred books. What does this tell us about small talk in Germany?

schwätzen

Schwätzen means to gab or chat about topics of low relevance and in a thoughtless manner which has no value. The Germans speak of dummes Geschwätz – dumm is stupid, dumb, idiotic, asinine, foolish.

Geschwätz from the verb schwätzen – when people in public spaces blab out loud, when students gab during classes, or colleagues do the same during meetings. A Schwätzer is not shunned, but disliked, and not respected. A Schwätzer talks too much and does too little.

ein Bier trinken

Wir können uns streiten und danach ein Bier trinken gehen. We can argue and then go for a beer together.” This saying reflects the idea that professional disagreements do not impact personal relationships, and colleagues can remain friendly after a heated debate.

“What lasts long, ….”

Was lange währt, wird endlich gut – is a German play on words: what lasts long, will at last be good. If something takes time, even a long time, it will most likely turn out just right.

In the context of agreements having to wait a longer time for the deliverables of that agreement is worth it, worth the wait. Patience pays, pays off.

Geduld bringt Rosen – patience brings roses – or Rom wurde auch nicht an einem Tag erbaut – Rome wasn’t built in a day – or Steter Tropfen höhlt den Stein – steady drops of water hollow out the stone – are German figures of speech conveying the same message. Even if it takes a little longer, ….