According to Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson, authors of the book Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage, American culture is solidarity-based – which means that it is based on creating a sense of equality and belonging. It is because of this that Americans seek to find a way to compliment each other for very basic things – to form bonds and a sense of belonging.
Additionally, in 1981, Nessa Wolfson published a study on the use of compliments in various cultures, and her assessment of American complimenting culture, where compliments are “as cheap as chips,” was that “the most striking feature of compliments in American English is their total lack of originality.”
Wolfson wrote that 23% of American compliments include the word “nice,” 20% include “good,” and 54% follow the pattern: “noun/phrase is/looks (really) adjective.”
Awards in the American culture are omnipresent, ubiquitous – everywhere. A critical, and self-critical, discussion has begun. It is small, but growing. Many in the U.S. believe that there is too much praised given, often when not earned, often inflated.
The fear is that generations of Americans are being raised with unrealistic expectations, with an inaccurate estimation of themselves, of their abilities. The danger is that these generations will become frustrated, angry, or even worse, not willing to work as hard as is needed in order to succeed.
A growing number of Americans are no longer willing to call things great, super, fantastic, awesome, or amazing. They do not believe that schools systems should give grades higher than what is statistically possible, such as higher than a 4.0, which is equivalent to an A or a 1.0.
Encouragement: the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something; the expression of respect and gratitude. From Old French preisier ‘to prize, praise,” from Latin pretium ‘price.’
Positive thinking: The act of thinking good or affirmative thoughts. Many people engage in structured positive thinking to rid themselves of depressing, unhealthy, negative thoughts. It’s based on the idea that the mind can affect the body. It is a way of enhancing health without the use of drugs.
There are 27,978 book search results under the search term “positive thinking” on Amazon.com, including “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey, and “The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles” by Bruce H. Lipton.
Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) – one of the first writers of personal success literature, the author of “Think and Grow Rich” (1937, 20 million copies sold), and an advisor to President Franklin Roosevelt – once said:
“Your mind has a secret invisible talisman. On one side is emblazoned the letters PMA – positive mental attitude and on the other the letters NMA – negative mental attitude. A positive attitude will naturally attract the good and the beautiful. The negative attitude will rob you of all that makes life worth living. Your success, health, happiness, and wealth depend on how you make up your mind.”
Motivation: The reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way; the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
There are 32,346 book results under “motivation” on Amazon.com. Popular titles include “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” by Daniel H. Pink, “100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, Change Your Life Forever” by Steve Chandler and “Creating the Perfect Lifestyle – Success, Achievement, Motivation, Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins” by Oli Hille.
Americans value public recognition. To be recognized in the presence of peers, customers, friends, family brings real satisfaction. And it takes place on a daily basis in the U.S.
In schools, at the worksplace, in sports, politics and business. Americans track the ups, the downs, who’s winning, who’s losing. The more quantifiable, the better. Statistics. Rankings. Percentages.
It can be comical. It can be inflationary. In some cases, it has become a bit absurd. But it speaks to both the importance and the form of feedback in American society. Americans are motivated by recognition, given in public.
Acknowledgement: recognition or favorable notice of an act or achievement.
American politicians have always had a close link between their politics and their personal lives, even from America’s first days as a nation. According to Gentlemen’s Blood: a History of Dueling by Barbara Holland, “In our early years a man’s political opinions were inseparable from the self, from personal character and reputation, and as central to his honor as a seventeenth-century Frenchman’s courage was to his. He called his opinions ‘principles’, and he was willing, almost eager, to die or to kill for them.”
As such, any insult to or disagreement with a politician was seen as a threat, and the politician usually responded by challenging his opponent to a duel. According to Joannie B. Freeman in Affairs of Honor, “Longtime political opponents almost expected duels, for there was no way that constant opposition to a man’s political career could leave his personal identity unaffected.”
The best known example of a political duel was the Burr-Hamilton Duel of 1804. Vice President Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had been political enemies for some time, when rumors that Hamilton had been saying “despicable” things about Burr prompted Burr to challenge Hamilton to a duel.
The accounts of the duel are somewhat conflicting, however, it is generally believed that Hamilton fired first, aiming high and missing. Burr then returned fire – his bullet pierced Hamilton’s torso, lodging in the man’s spine. Hamilton died the following morning.
Other famous American political duels included the Jackson-Dickinson Duel, the Clay-Randolph Duel, and the Lincoln-Shields Duel.
hralliancedc(dot)org. January 21, 2015. A blogpost: Feedback: Its All Personal and Why That Matters.
Performance Reviews. “There aren’t many scheduled professional activities that can generate such an array of feelings for managers and employees alike…. Regardless of how one feels prior to and after receiving feedback, one thing is certain: Feedback is always personal.
Conventional wisdom and typical management training try to remove the personal aspect of feedback, even encouraging us to not take feedback personally. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Done well, the performance review is an opportunity for the manager and the employee to strengthen their bond, to commit to working on themselves individually and together, to continue to strive toward desired results.
It’s Always Personal. Random House. 2013. Author Ann Kreamer writes about emotions in the workplace, especially during evaluations formal and informal. Statements about the book from amazon(dot)com:
“Ms. Kreamer comes down on the side of accepting and expressing one’s authentic feelings, though in sensible and constructive ways. It’s a stimulating read bolstered by snippets of some of the best recent work on emotional intelligence and the science of happiness.”The Wall Street Journal
“Kreamer demonstrates why emotion matters so much in the workplace–and, with practical advice, she identifies ways to be happier and more effective at work.” New York Times
“What’s the role of anger, fear empathy, anxiety and tears? This book explains them in ways that will make you a better worker, boss and human being.” Walter Isaacson, President and CEO, The Aspen Institute and former CEO of CNN
“Kreamer makes a solid case for her philosophy in the most compelling way possible, by appealing to rationality and the bottom line.”
amazon(dot)com listed 22,000 books about „giving feedback“, 62,000 titles on „performance reviews“ and a total of 127 how-to books alone about „performance review phrases“, including Performance Appraisals and Phrases For Dummies.
Its profile states:
„Whether you’re a manger looking to implement employee appraisals for the first time, concerned with improving the quality and effectiveness of the appraisal process, or simply trying to save time and mental anguish Dummies provides the tools you need to save time and energy while presenting fair and accurate evaluations that foster employee growth.
This convenient, portable package includes a full-length appraisal phrasebook featuring over 3,200 spot-on phrases and plenty of quick-hitting expert tips on making the most out of the process.“
A reviewer commented:
„… This book gave me ideas on how to properly phrase what I was trying to communicate during the review process. There is a scenario for just about everything you’d cover in a employee review and it was so very helpful when I knew what I wanted to say, but wasn’t quite sure how to write it clearly….“
The Human Resources departments in American companies – especially large ones – have become very careful in how they handle employee performance appraisals. Not only because they strive to develop their talent, but also in order to avoid lawsuits. Even well-designed appraisals can lead to a lawsuit if they are poorly implemented or applied in an inconsistent manner.
Because U.S. labor courts continue to make exceptions to the once solid At-Will doctrine, employers face greater requirements to prove legitimate business reasons for many personnel actions.
At-Will employment is a term used in American labor law for contractual relationships in which an employee can be dismissed by an employer for any reason and without warning.The rule is justified by its proponents on the basis that an employee may be similarly entitled to leave his or her job without reason or warning.
At-Will employment gradually became the default rule under the common law of the employment contract in most states during the late 19th century. Over the 20th century many states modified the rule by adding an increasing number of exceptions, or by changing the default expectations in the employment contract altogether.
Herb Brooks – coached the American men’s ice hockey team in the1980 Olympic Games when they won against the Soviet Union, who had won almost every world championship and Olympic hockey tournament since 1954. Inspirational quote: “You were born to be a player. You were meant to be here. This moment is yours.”
Tommy Lasorda – managed four All-Star games, and led the Los Angeles Dodgers to 8 National League West titles, 4 National League pennants, and 2 World Series championships. Inspirational quote: “The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.”
Vince Lombardi – head coach and general manager of the Green Bay Packers. He led the team to 3 NFL championships and victories at the first two Super Bowls. Inspirational quote: “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”
John Madden – became the youngest head coach in the American Football League in 1969 at age 33, and led Oakland to 7 AFC Western Division titles and a victory over Minnesota in Super Bowl XI. Inspirational quote: “When the going goes tough, you don’t quit. And you don’t fold up. And you don’t go in the other direction.”
Bill Russell – first as a player, then later as a player-coach, he led the Celtics to 11 championships. Inspirational quote: “The most important part of winning is joy. You can win without joy, but winning that’s joyless is like eating in a four-star restaurant when you’re not hungry. Joy is a current of energy in your body, like chlorophyll or sunlight, that fills you up and makes you naturally want to do your best.”
Bill Walsh – nicknamed “The Genius,” coached the 49ers to 3 Super Bowl wins and was named coach of the year twice. Inspirational quote: “Failure is part of success, an integral part. Everybody gets knocked down. Knowing it will happen and what you must do when it does is the first step back.”