“I don’t want you to take this personally, but …” Meaning: Recognizes that feedback is likely to be taken personally, even if it’s about work.
internalized
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. Willy Loman’s self-worth is deeply tied to his professional success and the feedback he receives from employers, family, and society. Praise or criticism of his work is internalized as a judgment of his personal value, highlighting how professional feedback in American culture is often experienced as personal affirmation or rejection.
Holden takes it personally
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Holden Caulfield’s interactions at school and work are colored by how feedback affects his sense of self. When teachers, peers, or employers critique his performance or attitude, Holden takes it personally, reflecting the American tendency to link feedback on work with personal identity.
Esther Greenwood
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther Greenwood’s experiences in the workplace and as an intern are shaped by feedback from supervisors and colleagues. Praise boosts her confidence, while criticism is felt as a personal setback, illustrating the emotional impact of feedback and the intertwining of personal and professional spheres.
mentor-mentee
The Intern (2015). Ben (Robert De Niro), a senior intern, and Jules (Anne Hathaway), a young CEO, develop a close mentor-mentee relationship. Feedback is delivered with empathy and care, and both characters grow personally and professionally through their interactions. The film highlights how feedback is tailored to the individual and is meant to support both performance and personal well-being.
emotionally charged
Jerry Maguire (1996). After a moral crisis, sports agent Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) is fired for his ideals but finds new purpose by building genuine, personal relationships with his clients. Feedback from clients and colleagues is emotionally charged and transformative, showing how professional evaluation in America is inextricably linked to personal values and identity.
reflection of personal worth
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. The March sisters’ growth is closely tied to feedback from family, friends, and mentors. Jo, in particular, responds emotionally to feedback on her writing and work, viewing it as a reflection of her personal worth and aspirations.
deeply personal
9 to 5 (1980). Three women, frustrated by their sexist boss, band together to improve their toxic workplace. The feedback they receive – dismissal, condescension, and lack of recognition – is deeply personal and motivates them to take action. Their eventual success is celebrated as both professional and personal vindication.
“What would you do?“
With the recent popularity of YouTube and other amateur video websites, people have been staging scenarios and filming people’s reactions to them. This is particularly popular in the U.S., where, in addition to amateur reaction videos, in 2008 ABC created a television show called What Would You Do?
In the show, actors and actresses pretend to be in situations in which they would benefit from unsolicited advice (domestic abuse, drugged beverages, etc.), and the show collects statistics on how many people offer advice or warnings.
Typically, most Americans who witness these situations don’t get involved. In one episode, in which a caregiver in a park berates the elderly man for whom he’s supposed to be caring, and refuses to take the elderly man home when asked, only one-quarter of the people who witnessed the interaction intervened. Other episodes typically have similar statistics of intervention.