Americans avoid any tension which could damage a personal or working relationship. They seek out commonalities, look for reasons to connect, not separate. It’s difficult to argue about the weather. Examples
Work vs. Personal
Americans connect the professional with the personal. Statements made about a proposal, a concept, or work results are by definition statements about that person’s competence, experience, and skills. Examples
Direct vs. Indirect
The Germans are direct in their communication. They believe that people should say what they mean and mean what they say. Germans avoid using euphemisms. Instead they prefer unambiguous language. For Germans direct communication is efficient, effective, transparent, and most importantly, honest. Examples
Small Talk
In the German business context small talk is short in duration. Germans transition quickly from small talk topics to topics of substance. They see little value in talking about the weather, sports or their most recent vacation. Germans don’t like to waste time. They like to get to the point. Examples
Work vs. Person
In the workplace the Germans separate between the professional amd the personal. Work colleagues can disagree, even argue, about the substance of an issue. This, however, does not have a negative effect on their working relationship. Examples
Controversial Topics
Germans are intelligent and well-informed. They seek out topics which lead to lively debate. And since this means a difference of opinions, Germans often choose topics considered to be controversial. Examples
Unsolicited Advice
Germans give unsolicited advice. Usually it is in the form of criticism. In most cases the criticism is accurate and helpful. Some Germans simply want to show that they know better. Most Germans, however, just want to be helpful. Examples
Unsolicited Advice
Americans seldom give colleagues unsolicited advice. Even then, depending on how sensitive the topic is, they will communicate their advice in carefully worded language. Examples
Direct vs. Indirect
German Approach
Germans are direct. They say what they mean. And they mean what they say. Germans don’t use euphemisms to soften a message. They use unambiguous language. For Germans directness is efficient, effective, honest, transparent. Examples
American Approach
Americans approach sensitive work topics cautiously. Euphemisms communicate uncomfortable messages. Ambiguity can be helpful. For Americans indirect communication is considered to be both polite and effective. Examples
American View
Germans can come across as impatient, impolite, hard. Americans can quickly feel uncomfortable, thus hindering more than helping communication. In some cases, Americans will avoid contact with those Germans (mis)perceived for their particularly direct communication.
German View
For German ears Americans seem to wrap their messages in “wads of cotton”. As non-native speakers it is difficult and time-consuming to interpret carefully worded statements. And since euphemisms are context-related, they must be decoded.
Advice to Germans
Pay close attention to the differences between how you as a German and how the Americans communicate. Use a softer vocabulary. Approach important topics a bit more indirectly.
The most important points do not have to be addressed immediately. Establish a little rapport with the other person, even if it is just a few sentences.
Clarity can be communicated via nuance, also. Americans pay particular attention to nuances. And remember to remind the Americans every now and then that English is not your native tongue. That will be a reminder to them that if your style of communication bothers them that it is cultural, not personal.
Advice to Americans
Germans are communicating with you in what for them is a foreign language. Be thankful that no one has asked you to communicate in a foreign language. For addressing complex and sensitive topics in a nuanced way is very difficult for any non-native speaker.
So, expect German directness. It has great strengths. Germans will say what they mean, and mean what they say. You know where they stand. For your part, be frank. Get to the point more quickly.
Germans will not take it personally. And remember, if you don‘t understand something, or if you sense that Germans don‘t understand you, address it openly. Rephrase in other words what each party has said.
Controversial Topics
German Approach
Germans are intelligent and well-informed. They seek out topics which lead to lively debate. And since this means a difference of opinions, Germans often choose topics considered to be controversial. Examples
American Approach
Americans avoid any tension which could damage a personal or working relationship. They seek out commonalities, look for reasons to connect, not separate. It’s difficult to argue about the weather. Examples
American View
Americans have the impression that Germans seek out controversial topics in order to provoke. In many cases, Americans feel insulted, for the German approach often leads to criticism of America and Americans, their society, politics, their very way of life.
When that happens, the relationship has been damaged and it is very difficult to un-do it. Making things worse, some Americans will then report it to friends and colleagues, warning them about contact with „those opinionated Germans.“
German View
The American inclination to discuss safe topics is often misinterpreted by Germans as being superficial. To the Germans, for whom intelligence, deep thinking, even brooding, is important, superficiality is considered to be a character flaw.
Germans are disappointed when the discussion involves what they call non-topics. They feel that an opportunity has been lost: to debate, compare and contrast, to learn from each other.
Advice to Germans
Develop a sense for which topics in America are considered controversial. There are many of them. Choose very carefully with whom, when and how you address them.
Bring them up indirectly. Ask Americans what they think. If asked, state your opinion diplomatically. Seek dialogue, not debate. If you want to make your statement, perhaps phrase it as a question.
And remember, Americans and Germans have different definitions of patriotism. Germans are still skeptical and critical about their Germanness. Many refer to themselves more as Europeans than as Germans.
Americans are also critical of their country, their government, are quite aware of their problems. But it is one thing when Americans debate among themselves and quite another thing when an outsider does it.
Americans have a personal relationship with their country. Criticism of America is criticism of Americans.
Advice to Americans
Remember, Germans separate between substance and person. Vigorous intellectual give and take on controversial topics is not personal.
In fact, it is one way in which the Germans demonstrate respect for America and Americans. It means that they take your point of view and America seriously.
So, engage with the Germans. Help them to understand the American viewpoint. And put some effort into understanding their point of view. It’s well worth it.