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No

German Approach

The German no is more the rule than the exception. However, its level of firmness is based on context. The no can range from hard to flexible. Identifying the barriers to the yes reveals that range. Examples

American Approach

A no in the American context is more the exception than the rule. Americans pride themselves on being can-do people. They feel uncomfortable saying no. They couch their no in affirmative words. Examples

American View

Germans are often and quickly (mis)perceived as born nay-sayers. They can come across as unfriendly, uncooperative, not team-players. The German „no“ can be communicated so quickly and unabashedly that an American does not consider the possibility that it is the German way of saying:

„Sorry, I cannot commit to that right now, or without having thought about it.“ The attempt is not made to determine through discussion to what degree the „no“ might be a different way of communicating a conditional „yes“.

The danger in this interaction is twofold. Firstly, an otherwise mutually beneficial agreement is not struck. Secondly, and more unfortunate, the German colleague might be unfairly labeled as a „nay-sayer“, an uncooperative colleague to be avoided.

That person may never become aware of how they are misperceived by their American colleagues, thus affording no opportunity to correct the misperception, to correct the unfair label as „Herr Dr. No“.

German View

No less irritating for the Germans is the American no, which they almost never hear. Instead they get a conditional yes, which is communicated with terms and phrases which indicate clearly to the non-native speaker a positive, an affirmative response, a yes. Germans ask themselves what is so difficult about saying either yes or no.

Although Germans speak good to excellent English, few are capable of understanding the nuances of American English. And, the more complex the material discussed, the more politically sensitive situation it is embedded in, all the more subtle the language used by Americans.

A highly conditional „yes“ in the American context is in most cases a polite form of a „no“, a „polite no“, understood by each American involved, but perhaps misunderstood by a German to be a „yes“. For it is a sign of professionalism and finesse in the United States to be able to communicate rejection in a positive and affirmative way.

The effect? Two parties have an opposite understanding of the interaction. One believes to have entered into an agreement. The other believes to have clearly communicated that agreement was not arrived at.

Worse than the miscommunication, there lurks the greater danger of Germans drawing the conclusion that Americans don‘t hold up their side of the bargain. To be unreliable (unzuverlaessig), „not keeping your word“, on even the most minor of matters is considered highly negative in the German context.

To be labeled unzuverlaessig is to be labeled with almost a character flaw. It‘s a label which can take time to have peeled off.

Advice to Germans

Your German „no“ is harsh and unfriendly for the American ear. Either take it out of your repertoire altogether, or at least soften it. Explain your reluctance in a more diplomatic way. You won‘t be accused of being a therapist.

Enter into a dialogue with your American colleague by stating the reasons why you cannot (yet) enter into an agreement. Then give that person a chance to overcome your reluctance.

Strive to negotiate a mutually beneficial deal, with both having receivables and deliverables. Keep in mind, you may need and want assistance from this very same colleague at a later time.

Advice to Americans

Communicate more literally with your German colleagues. If you cannot enter into an agreement, simply state so. Provide your reasons, communicate regret, but try not to pack your „no“ into „wads of cotton“, as the Germans say. They won‘t break down into tears.

If you are willing to enter into an agreement, give clear indications to what degree your „yes“ is binding. Parameters can change. Use a percentage: „Sure, Hans, I can deliver that by next Thursday. But, I have a lot going on at the moment. I can guarantee it 80%. Let‘s talk again on Tuesday.“

Yes

German Approach

The German yes is more the exception than the rule. Germans are reluctant to enter into an agreement without being sure that they can fulfill it. When you get the German yes, however, it is firm. Examples

American Approach

A yes in the American context is more the rule than the exception. Americans almost instinctively say yes to assisting a colleague. The American yes, however, has different degrees of firmness. Examples

American View

It should be of no surprise that Americans expect, and therefore miss, getting a yes from their German colleagues, at least the intention to say yes.

Americans sense immediately their reluctance. It can appear that Germans are not helpful, not team-players. When Germans respond that they need to first check out the details, Americans suspect it to be an excuse.

German View

The spontaneous American yes does not appear credible to Germans. Americans seem want to say yes to everything, without first thinking through if they can deliver on their promises. What Germans call American overpromising can become a serious problem in transatlantic cooperation.

Advice to Germans

Beware of the American chronic overpromiser! It‘s not a sign of unreliability, but of spirit. Gain clarity about the binding character of that „Yes!“ by asking the famed w-questions: who? why? by when?, and of course, how? Flush out how serious and practicable a well-intended „yes“ is. Get concrete.

At the same time, listen very carefully to the conditions. Chances are they‘re meant to signal a „polite no“. As a rule of thumb, the more conditional the „yes“, the harder the „no“ being communicated.

When in doubt, simply explain to your American colleague that your command of nuances in the English language is limited, that you are not sure whether you are hearing a „yes“ or a „no“. Ask your colleague to spell it out a bit more literally.

Advice to Americans

Remember, Germans separate between substance and person. Vigorous intellectual give and take on controversial topics is not personal. In fact, it is one way in which the Germans demonstrate respect for America and Americans. It means that they take your point of view and America seriously.

So, engage with the Germans. Help them to understand the American viewpoint. And put some effort into understanding their point of view. It’s well worth it.

Small Talk

German Approach

In the German business context small talk is short in duration. Germans transition quickly to issues of substance. They see little value in talking about the weather, sports or their most recent vacation. Examples

American Approach

Small talk in the USA gets communication going. Small talk allows people to get a sense for the overall atmosphere. Americans seldom jump directly into serioius business subject matter. Examples

American View

Germans are aware that small talk in the U.S. is important. There are even books and seminars teaching the art of small talk.

Nonetheless, Germans get impatient with American small talk. It takes up valuable time. They begin to check their watches. For Germans it is not a must to be a personal friend with the people they do business with.

In fact, they can do business with people they don‘t like. Friendly relations are nice, but not a requirement.

German View

Brief German small talk can seem obligatory, as if they were just „going through the motions.“ Their sudden transition from casual conversation to serious topics is for Americans a sign of impatience.

The Germans, unfortunate and unintended, can come across as impersonal and unfriendly. And who wants to work with unfriendly people? Americans don‘t.

Advice to Germans

All American relationships, including those in the business context, are personal. If it isn‘t personal, it isn‘t a relationship. Small talk is the most basic form of how Americans maintain communication.

Learn how to do it. You can. Just go with the flow. Open yourself up. Get a bit more personal. If you have good rapport, you‘ll move through the business topics much more quickly, and in that way save time.

Advice to Americans

Keep small talk to a minimum. Listen carefully for signals when the Germans want to move from small to big talk. This is not a sign of disinterest, of being impersonal or unfriendly.

The Germans get personal in non-business settings, at lunch, dinner, on the weekends. They have a great sense of humor, have all sorts of hobbies and interests outside of work.

And keep in mind, that Germans can and will do business with you even if you have little or no personal relationship. Most importantly, they want to know if you are good at what you do. Personal is nice. Professional is better.

Unsolicited Advice

German Approach

Germans give unsolicited advice. Usually it is criticism. In most cases the criticism is accurate and helpful. Some Germans simply want to show that they know better. Most Germans just want to be helpful. Examples

American Approach

Americans seldom give colleagues unsolicited advice. Even then, depending on how sensitive the topic is, they will communicate their advice in carefully worded language. Examples

American View

Unsolicited advice from Germans – or from anyone – can come across to Americans as arrogant, presumptious and even personally insulting. They think to themselves: „Who asked you for your opinion?“ It can damage the working relationship.

German View

From the German perspective, Americans seem to be irritated and insulted rather quickly. They have difficulty accepting helpful advice, which can be interpreted as arrogance.

Advice to Germans

Be very careful when giving advice to Americans without having been asked. Unsolicited advice, which typically is negative, can be highly insulting to Americans.

It can be perceived as a direct challenge to their understanding of their personal freedom. Look for opportunities to indirectly approach the subject. Observe how the other person reacts. Approximate your way closer to the subject. This is an iterative process.

Advice to Americans

Be ready to get unsolicited advice from your German colleagues. Do your best not to be insulted or angy. Listen carefully to the substance of the advice. Pay less attention to the personal part of the relationship.

Operate on the assumption that your German colleague has your best interests in mind. You will then realize that you are getting first-rate advice and at no cost to you. In fact, you‘ll see that you have someone – or even several people – „watching your back.“

Work vs. Person

German Approach

Germans separate the professional from the personal. Work colleagues can disagree, even argue, about the substance of an issue. This, however, does not have a negative effect on their working relationship. Examples

American Approach

Americans connect the professional with the personal. Statements made about a proposal, a concept, or work results are by definition statements about that person’s competence, experience, and skills. Examples

American View

Americans can, indeed, feel personally insulted by the statements German colleagues make. From their perspective the Germans go on the attack, saying things such as: „No, that is wrong“ or „That makes no sense“ or „You obviously did not do your homework“ or „We used that method a decade ago. Get up to date.“

In the U.S. business context part of being professional is knowing how to voice your opinion in ways respectful of other people. Germans can actually scare Americans. Some of Germans be (mis)perceived as so unpredictable and explosive that their American colleagues, customers, suppliers will do their best to avoid contact with them.

German View

In some cases, Germans do indeed pick up on signals that their American colleagues can feel insulted. From their point of view, however, Americans are too sensitive to criticism, taking things too personally. Americans are too thin-skinned.

This is a surprise to the Germans, for the Americans have the reputation in Germany of being rough, tough, ready for a fight, for a healthy debate.

And because Germans define being professional as focusing on substance and „checking the personal at the door“, overly careful and sensitive Americans can come across as tedious, requiring special attention, in the end as unprofessional, at a minimum less professional.

Advice to Germans

Continue to be analytical, straightforward and honest. And continue to address critical topics directly. Those are German strengths. But do all of this in a spirit and language which is softer and more dialogue-oriented.

Americans also focus on substance. They also have vigorous debates. Their language, however, is more subtle, their differences of opinion more naunced.

The challenge for you is not only the logic in how Americans debate. It is also a question of language and tone. For it is truly difficult to communicate nuance in a foreign language. Mimic American statements. Use their terms and phrases. Speak in the language, literally and figuratively.

And, from time to time, remind the Americans that you are speaking in what for you is a foreign language. They will respect you and feel a bit of shame that they – in most cases – do not speak a foreign language.

Advice to Americans

Develop a thicker skin. Not every criticism of your work is criticism of you or of your ability. Perhaps you and your work are worthy of criticism. From the German perspective you can (and often should) argue intensely with your German colleagues. And it will actually strengthen your working relationship. This is not a paradox. It is the German logic.

Vigorous debate, intensity, „going toe-to-toe“ with each other, even “getting in each other’s faces”, as long as you use solid arguments, are signs of ability, backbone and professionalism in Germany. Step up to the challenge, not back.

At the same time, when you notice that a German colleague, unintentionally, has come across too directly, has crossed a line, come to his or her rescue. Yes, to their rescue. Rephrase their statements in softer, more diplomatic American terms.

At the same time, ask your American colleagues to focus on substance, not form, and to not take it all so personally.

Collaboration

German Approach

In Germany two parties enter into a dialogue about matching a customer’s problem with a supplier’s solution. Once the what has been agreed upon, there is limited customer input about the how. Examples

American Approach

Collaboration in the American business context is defined first und foremostly by the customer. They not only define what they want, but also to a significant extent how they want it. Examples

American View

Americans prefer a high level of collaboration during the entire business relationship. The initial stage of cooperation will seldom involve the depth and duration as in the German business context.

But, once the execution phase begins the American customer expects to be involved not only in the what, but also in the how.

German View

Germans prefer a very high level of dialogue with the supplier in the initial stage of the cooperation. Once there is agreement on the what and how, though, the supplier is given the mandate (transfer of responsibility) to execute.

The collaboration continues, but primarily based on communicating about and dealing with any unexpected changes in parameters. If the execution goes as planned, there is little necessity for collaboration.

Advice to Germans

When American customers speak of a good collaborative relationship with a supplier they mean foremostly rapid reaction and flexibility of the supplier to the input of the customer concerning not only the what, but also the how, of the task.

The American customer wants to be involved in all phases of the execution, not just in the startup. This might surprise you, perhaps even be a distraction. It can seem like micromanagement.

Therefore, choose the right moment early in the working relationship to address this point. It’s sensitive, but important.

American customers want to remain informed, at times only generally, at other times in a very detailed way. The reserve the right to go down to the tactical level in order to address certain issues.

Advice to Americans

When German customers speak about collaboration between them and a supplier they mean primarily the initial phase of request definition and planning.

The input of your German customer will stress the what of the business relationship and not the how. In other words, they want to be highly involved in the early stage, but less so in the various phases of the execution.

This will surprise you. This style of collaboration will appear more like customer absence. Early in the business relationship discuss your role and the role of your German customer during the execution phase. Be prepared to communicate less frequently with the customer.

She has decided to put your services to work. She assumes that you are the expert, that you have established processes to deliver your solutions. She sees no reason to get involved in the details of execution. That is your job. Do not expect the customer to hand-hold you. She will not expect you to hand-hold her.

Expectations

German Approach

The German customer expects the supplier to complete the requested task correctly and expertly, within schedule and budget. The boundary conditions are negotiated and held to as precisely as possible. Germans, however, will sacrifice schedule and budget in order to receive what they ordered. Examples

American Approach

The American customer expects the supplier to deliver a product or service as defined by the customer. The customer expects the supplier to orient himself fully towards their needs and to respond as quickly as possible. The supplier is expected to adapt to any change in scope. Examples

American View

Americans, from the reverse point of view, deem the German supplier to be inflexible. He demands too much of the customer in the initial phase. Often the American customer is not in a position to supply adequate information for the the solution provider. Nonetheless, it is felt that the supplier can begin the early stage of work. The internal processes of the supplier can appear rigid and bureaucratic to the American customer.

German View

The German supplier can become frustrated with American customers who specify their requests unclearly, constantly revise them, or alter greatly the original scope. This all makes solid planning difficult. From the German perspective, there is inadequate willingness on the part of the customer to adapt flexibly to the processes of the solution-provider. For, the solution requested is a product of internal processes.

Advice to Germans

Your American customer – whether external or corporate internal – expects that you orient your expertise and services to his specific needs. From your perspective, the customer needs you just as much as you need him.

You, therefore, expect the customer to respect and balance his needs with the way in which you put your expertise to work for him. Handle this subtle dance, this search for balance, carefully and with diplomacy. Otherwise, your American client could gain the impression that you are inflexible or not customer oriented.

The belief that the “customer is king” is taken seriously in the U.S. Stay focused on customer needs, but also take the time to carefully and patiently describe where your internal work processes cannot be modified.

Remind your customer diplomatically that choosing you as their solution means choosing how you work. Demonstrate flexibility in your work, but remain firm when it comes to delivering what the customer expects.

Advice to Americans

Before making a request for services, the German customer has thought through carefully what he wants. He is ready to enter into a business relationship. He will expect from the supplier a persuasive explanation of their methods and processes.

And since a mutual give-and-take between customer and supplier is normal in the German context, your German customer anticipates adapting to some extent to how you work.

This might surprise you. For in America the customer is supposed to be king. Be prepared for specific and exact questions from your German customer about what and how you do things.

If you see the need for the customer request to be modified based on your internal processes, address these as early as possible. Modifications later will be difficult to explain to your German customer.