Communication Archives - Page 2 of 2

Controversial Topics

German Approach

Germans are intelligent and well-informed. They seek out topics which lead to lively debate. And since this means a difference of opinions, Germans often choose topics considered to be controversial. Examples

American Approach

Americans avoid any tension which could damage a personal or working relationship. They seek out commonalities, look for reasons to connect, not separate. It’s difficult to argue about the weather. Examples

American View

Americans have the impression that Germans seek out controversial topics in order to provoke. In many cases, Americans feel insulted, for the German approach often leads to criticism of America and Americans, their society, politics, their very way of life.

When that happens, the relationship has been damaged and it is very difficult to un-do it. Making things worse, some Americans will then report it to friends and colleagues, warning them about contact with „those opinionated Germans.“

German View

The American inclination to discuss safe topics is often misinterpreted by Germans as being superficial. To the Germans, for whom intelligence, deep thinking, even brooding, is important, superficiality is considered to be a character flaw.

Germans are disappointed when the discussion involves what they call non-topics. They feel that an opportunity has been lost: to debate, compare and contrast, to learn from each other.

Advice to Germans

Develop a sense for which topics in America are considered controversial. There are many of them. Choose very carefully with whom, when and how you address them.

Bring them up indirectly. Ask Americans what they think. If asked, state your opinion diplomatically. Seek dialogue, not debate. If you want to make your statement, perhaps phrase it as a question.

And remember, Americans and Germans have different definitions of patriotism. Germans are still skeptical and critical about their Germanness. Many refer to themselves more as Europeans than as Germans.

Americans are also critical of their country, their government, are quite aware of their problems. But it is one thing when Americans debate among themselves and quite another thing when an outsider does it.

Americans have a personal relationship with their country. Criticism of America is criticism of Americans.

Advice to Americans

Remember, Germans separate between substance and person. Vigorous intellectual give and take on controversial topics is not personal.

In fact, it is one way in which the Germans demonstrate respect for America and Americans. It means that they take your point of view and America seriously.

So, engage with the Germans. Help them to understand the American viewpoint. And put some effort into understanding their point of view. It’s well worth it.

Small Talk

German Approach

In the German business context small talk is short in duration. Germans transition quickly to issues of substance. They see little value in talking about the weather, sports or their most recent vacation. Examples

American Approach

Small talk in the USA gets communication going. Small talk allows people to get a sense for the overall atmosphere. Americans seldom jump directly into serioius business subject matter. Examples

American View

Germans are aware that small talk in the U.S. is important. There are even books and seminars teaching the art of small talk.

Nonetheless, Germans get impatient with American small talk. It takes up valuable time. They begin to check their watches. For Germans it is not a must to be a personal friend with the people they do business with.

In fact, they can do business with people they don‘t like. Friendly relations are nice, but not a requirement.

German View

Brief German small talk can seem obligatory, as if they were just „going through the motions.“ Their sudden transition from casual conversation to serious topics is for Americans a sign of impatience.

The Germans, unfortunate and unintended, can come across as impersonal and unfriendly. And who wants to work with unfriendly people? Americans don‘t.

Advice to Germans

All American relationships, including those in the business context, are personal. If it isn‘t personal, it isn‘t a relationship. Small talk is the most basic form of how Americans maintain communication.

Learn how to do it. You can. Just go with the flow. Open yourself up. Get a bit more personal. If you have good rapport, you‘ll move through the business topics much more quickly, and in that way save time.

Advice to Americans

Keep small talk to a minimum. Listen carefully for signals when the Germans want to move from small to big talk. This is not a sign of disinterest, of being impersonal or unfriendly.

The Germans get personal in non-business settings, at lunch, dinner, on the weekends. They have a great sense of humor, have all sorts of hobbies and interests outside of work.

And keep in mind, that Germans can and will do business with you even if you have little or no personal relationship. Most importantly, they want to know if you are good at what you do. Personal is nice. Professional is better.

Unsolicited Advice

German Approach

Germans give unsolicited advice. Usually it is criticism. In most cases the criticism is accurate and helpful. Some Germans simply want to show that they know better. Most Germans just want to be helpful. Examples

American Approach

Americans seldom give colleagues unsolicited advice. Even then, depending on how sensitive the topic is, they will communicate their advice in carefully worded language. Examples

American View

Unsolicited advice from Germans – or from anyone – can come across to Americans as arrogant, presumptious and even personally insulting. They think to themselves: „Who asked you for your opinion?“ It can damage the working relationship.

German View

From the German perspective, Americans seem to be irritated and insulted rather quickly. They have difficulty accepting helpful advice, which can be interpreted as arrogance.

Advice to Germans

Be very careful when giving advice to Americans without having been asked. Unsolicited advice, which typically is negative, can be highly insulting to Americans.

It can be perceived as a direct challenge to their understanding of their personal freedom. Look for opportunities to indirectly approach the subject. Observe how the other person reacts. Approximate your way closer to the subject. This is an iterative process.

Advice to Americans

Be ready to get unsolicited advice from your German colleagues. Do your best not to be insulted or angy. Listen carefully to the substance of the advice. Pay less attention to the personal part of the relationship.

Operate on the assumption that your German colleague has your best interests in mind. You will then realize that you are getting first-rate advice and at no cost to you. In fact, you‘ll see that you have someone – or even several people – „watching your back.“

Work vs. Person

German Approach

Germans separate the professional from the personal. Work colleagues can disagree, even argue, about the substance of an issue. This, however, does not have a negative effect on their working relationship. Examples

American Approach

Americans connect the professional with the personal. Statements made about a proposal, a concept, or work results are by definition statements about that person’s competence, experience, and skills. Examples

American View

Americans can, indeed, feel personally insulted by the statements German colleagues make. From their perspective the Germans go on the attack, saying things such as: „No, that is wrong“ or „That makes no sense“ or „You obviously did not do your homework“ or „We used that method a decade ago. Get up to date.“

In the U.S. business context part of being professional is knowing how to voice your opinion in ways respectful of other people. Germans can actually scare Americans. Some of Germans be (mis)perceived as so unpredictable and explosive that their American colleagues, customers, suppliers will do their best to avoid contact with them.

German View

In some cases, Germans do indeed pick up on signals that their American colleagues can feel insulted. From their point of view, however, Americans are too sensitive to criticism, taking things too personally. Americans are too thin-skinned.

This is a surprise to the Germans, for the Americans have the reputation in Germany of being rough, tough, ready for a fight, for a healthy debate.

And because Germans define being professional as focusing on substance and „checking the personal at the door“, overly careful and sensitive Americans can come across as tedious, requiring special attention, in the end as unprofessional, at a minimum less professional.

Advice to Germans

Continue to be analytical, straightforward and honest. And continue to address critical topics directly. Those are German strengths. But do all of this in a spirit and language which is softer and more dialogue-oriented.

Americans also focus on substance. They also have vigorous debates. Their language, however, is more subtle, their differences of opinion more naunced.

The challenge for you is not only the logic in how Americans debate. It is also a question of language and tone. For it is truly difficult to communicate nuance in a foreign language. Mimic American statements. Use their terms and phrases. Speak in the language, literally and figuratively.

And, from time to time, remind the Americans that you are speaking in what for you is a foreign language. They will respect you and feel a bit of shame that they – in most cases – do not speak a foreign language.

Advice to Americans

Develop a thicker skin. Not every criticism of your work is criticism of you or of your ability. Perhaps you and your work are worthy of criticism. From the German perspective you can (and often should) argue intensely with your German colleagues. And it will actually strengthen your working relationship. This is not a paradox. It is the German logic.

Vigorous debate, intensity, „going toe-to-toe“ with each other, even “getting in each other’s faces”, as long as you use solid arguments, are signs of ability, backbone and professionalism in Germany. Step up to the challenge, not back.

At the same time, when you notice that a German colleague, unintentionally, has come across too directly, has crossed a line, come to his or her rescue. Yes, to their rescue. Rephrase their statements in softer, more diplomatic American terms.

At the same time, ask your American colleagues to focus on substance, not form, and to not take it all so personally.