German Approach
The German yes is more the exception than the rule. Germans are reluctant to enter into an agreement without being sure that they can fulfill it. When you get the German yes, however, it is firm. Patterns
American Approach
A yes in the American context is more the rule than the exception. Americans almost instinctively say yes to assisting a colleague. The American yes, however, has different degrees of firmness. Patterns
American View
It should be of no surprise that Americans expect, and therefore miss, getting a yes from their German colleagues, at least the intention to say yes.
Americans sense immediately their reluctance. It can appear that Germans are not helpful, not team-players. When Germans respond that they need to first check out the details, Americans suspect it to be an excuse.
German View
The spontaneous American yes does not appear credible to Germans. Americans seem want to say yes to everything, without first thinking through if they can deliver on their promises. What Germans call American overpromising can become a serious problem in transatlantic cooperation.
Advice to Germans
Beware of the American chronic overpromiser! It‘s not a sign of unreliability, but of spirit. Gain clarity about the binding character of that „Yes!“ by asking the famed w-questions: who? why? by when?, and of course, how? Flush out how serious and practicable a well-intended „yes“ is. Get concrete.
At the same time, listen very carefully to the conditions. Chances are they‘re meant to signal a „polite no“. As a rule of thumb, the more conditional the „yes“, the harder the „no“ being communicated.
When in doubt, simply explain to your American colleague that your command of nuances in the English language is limited, that you are not sure whether you are hearing a „yes“ or a „no“. Ask your colleague to spell it out a bit more literally.
Advice to Americans
Remember, Germans separate between substance and person. Vigorous intellectual give and take on controversial topics is not personal. In fact, it is one way in which the Germans demonstrate respect for America and Americans. It means that they take your point of view and America seriously.
So, engage with the Germans. Help them to understand the American viewpoint. And put some effort into understanding their point of view. It’s well worth it.