German Approach
Germans separate the professional from the personal. Work colleagues can disagree, even argue, about the substance of an issue. This, however, does not have a negative effect on their working relationship. Patterns
American Approach
Americans connect the professional with the personal. Statements made about a proposal, a concept, or work results are by definition statements about that person’s competence, experience, and skills. Patterns
American View
Americans can, indeed, feel personally insulted by the statements German colleagues make. From their perspective the Germans go on the attack, saying things such as: „No, that is wrong“ or „That makes no sense“ or „You obviously did not do your homework“ or „We used that method a decade ago. Get up to date.“
In the U.S. business context part of being professional is knowing how to voice your opinion in ways respectful of other people. Germans can actually scare Americans. Some of Germans be (mis)perceived as so unpredictable and explosive that their American colleagues, customers, suppliers will do their best to avoid contact with them.
German View
In some cases, Germans do indeed pick up on signals that their American colleagues can feel insulted. From their point of view, however, Americans are too sensitive to criticism, taking things too personally. Americans are too thin-skinned.
This is a surprise to the Germans, for the Americans have the reputation in Germany of being rough, tough, ready for a fight, for a healthy debate.
And because Germans define being professional as focusing on substance and „checking the personal at the door“, overly careful and sensitive Americans can come across as tedious, requiring special attention, in the end as unprofessional, at a minimum less professional.
Advice to Germans
Continue to be analytical, straightforward and honest. And continue to address critical topics directly. Those are German strengths. But do all of this in a spirit and language which is softer and more dialogue-oriented.
Americans also focus on substance. They also have vigorous debates. Their language, however, is more subtle, their differences of opinion more naunced.
The challenge for you is not only the logic in how Americans debate. It is also a question of language and tone. For it is truly difficult to communicate nuance in a foreign language. Mimic American statements. Use their terms and phrases. Speak in the language, literally and figuratively.
And, from time to time, remind the Americans that you are speaking in what for you is a foreign language. They will respect you and feel a bit of shame that they – in most cases – do not speak a foreign language.
Advice to Americans
Develop a thicker skin. Not every criticism of your work is criticism of you or of your ability. Perhaps you and your work are worthy of criticism. From the German perspective you can (and often should) argue intensely with your German colleagues. And it will actually strengthen your working relationship. This is not a paradox. It is the German logic.
Vigorous debate, intensity, „going toe-to-toe“ with each other, even “getting in each other’s faces”, as long as you use solid arguments, are signs of ability, backbone and professionalism in Germany. Step up to the challenge, not back.
At the same time, when you notice that a German colleague, unintentionally, has come across too directly, has crossed a line, come to his or her rescue. Yes, to their rescue. Rephrase their statements in softer, more diplomatic American terms.
At the same time, ask your American colleagues to focus on substance, not form, and to not take it all so personally.