words – Page 16 – understand-culture

Humility

Bescheidenheit or humility is the character trait of a person who is unassuming, not demanding, seeks little for themself, who allows others to go ahead. From Latin prudentia, sapientia, scientia, discretio.

Bescheidenheit ist der Anfang aller Vernunft. Humility is the beginning of all reason. (Ludwig Anzengruber) Die wahre Ruhe der Gemüter ist Tugend und Genügsamkeit. True peace of mind is based on virtue and humility. (Christian Fürchtegott Gellert)

Abgehoben sein: to view oneself as above others; to lose grounding, to lose a sense of measure, proportion; unable to read situations realistically. Sarkasmus, sarcasm: biting, hurtful, condescending ridicule; to make fun of another person in a cutting way; to be mean, ugly.

Impersonal Critique

In the German context feedback about one‘s work is in and of itself not personal. Germans – team leads as well as members – can argue vehemently about business topics and at the same time have a friendly, collegial working relationship. German management can criticize harshly an employee but still respect and personally like that individual. In Germany feedback is not personal.

In German team meetings open, honest, direct feedback is not only permitted, it is desired. Weaknesses in individual performance are addressed by team lead and members alike. The criticism, however, is not meant, and is not taken, as a personal attack, not jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen (to tell them off), but more to „get a it on the table“, in den Raum stellen.

Jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen: to say something critical to another person‘s face; to say something mean, unfair, provoking; to tell someone the unadultered truth; to give another person „a piece of your mind.“

Etwas in den Raum stellen: to put something in the room; to raise a question, a problem; to comment on, to make an observation; to bring a subject into the discussion.

Constructive Criticism

Critique: A detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory. Derived from mid 17th century from French, based on Greek kritikē tekhnē ‘critical art”.

Constructive criticism is legitimate criticism – fair, objective, well grounded. It is constructive when its purpose, tone and spirit aim to help the other person recognize, understand and then correct their weaknesses. Constructive criticism is helpful.

Employee evaluation helps management to measure performance while maintaining motivation and reducing employee turnover. It has three components: praise work well done; address areas of improvement; recommend improvement measures. Employee evaluations also serve as documentation of future goals to be reviewed at a later date.

There are 58,885 books on self-improvement on Amazon.com. The most popular areas for self-improvement are money management, healthy living, attitude, speaking skills, time management, and interpersonal relations.

Popular titles include “The Power of Self-Coaching: The Five Essential Steps to Creating the Life You Want” by Joseph J. Luciani, “The Secret Art of Self-Development: 16 Little-Known Rules for Eternal Happiness & Freedom” by Karl Moore, “50 Self-Help Classics: 50 Inspirational Books to Transform Your Life from Timeless Sages to Contemporary Gurus” by Tom Butler-Bowdon, and “I Had It All The Time: When Self-Improvement Gives Way to Ecstasy” by Alan Cohen.

Avoid Envy

German managers are careful not praise too often for fear that some team members could feel disadvantaged. Praise of a team member can quickly lead to envy, which in turn threatens team cohesion. A bonus awarded for good performance often leads to other team members claiming unfairness.

Furthermore, Germans do not feel comfortable working in an atmosphere of peer competition. German top performers would rather do without the praise and the bonus in order to safeguard a cooperative working relationship with their colleagues.

Envy: irritation, anger in response to the success of others; to crave for, to want what the other has in terms of material wealth, status, good health, attractive physical appearance.

Germans also believe that success of a team is often difficult to attribute to the performance of certain members. Praise in front of the team or any kind of reward can lead to an embittered discussion about how performance is defined and measured. Germans believe that it is too easy to mistakenly praise one colleague for work results produced by another. A feeling of unfairness, of injustice can arise quickly.

Be wary. Be happy.

Germans strive to remain clear-headed, to avoid incrementally inflated euphoria, to avoid a step-by-step distancing from a sober assessment of reality. For Germans it’s not “Don’t worry. Be Happy.” But instead “Be wary. Be happy.”

Wary: marked by keen caution, cunning, and watchfulness, especially in detecting and escaping danger.

“Escaping danger.” Dangerous can be thinking too highly of oneself. Dangerous can be misreading a situation. Dangerous is unjustified happy, euphoric.

But, there is another reason to “be wary.” Neid, envy. The Germans themselves speak of their Neidgesellschaft, “society of envy”, of their Neider, the envious.

Public recognition can lead to envy within the team. Envy threatens cohesion. Germans are not comfortable with “stars” or “rainmakers” in their organizations. Neid is one reason. The other is purely rational.

In complex organizations, especially those which are highly matrixed, how can individuals or individual teams be cited as especially successful? As clearly better than others? How can that be measured?

Criticism in Front of Colleagues

Criticism of an individual team member in the presence of the team is an accepted way in which Germans make that individual aware of a weakness or reoccuring error and request that it be addressed. Not only management, but also colleagues, are authorized – and expected – to voice open criticism, to point out what is not working. This kind of open criticism is not considered to be negative.

Open criticism of colleagues is considered negative, however, if it is not aimed at improving performance, but instead in gaining advantage within the team at the expense of that individual colleague.

rügen. To upbraid, to criticize, to admonish; to point out a weakness or failure; to set someone straight.

Jemanden zur Schnecke machen. Figuratively to make some into a snail. To complain to and about someone, to put down harshly, to set someone straight in a direct and harsh way.

Discretion. To hold something private, secret; to be entrusted; to be tactful, considerate, reserved; not pushy.

Pranger. Pillory. A stone column located in the middle of the village to which individuals are chained for a period of time as a form of punishment for a petty crime. Townspeople would often slap or hit them, throw trash at them, or otherwise humiliate them. To put someone on the Pranger means to criticize, even embarrass them in front of the organization.

Zurückhaltung

Zurückhaltung: reluctance, reticence, caution, reserve, modesty, moderation, self-effacement.

Verschwiegenheit: secrecy. discretion, discreetness, reticence, sercretiveness.

Feingefühl: sensitivity, sensitiveness, delicacy, tactfulness, tact.

Rücksichtnahme: consideration, thoughtfulness, considerateness.

Fingerspitzengefühl: flair, tact, sure instinct, finesse, ability to deal with sensitive issues.

Lobgeiz

Lobgeiz. There is no such word in German. It is a creation out of Lob, praise and Geiz, stinginess. An unwillingness to give praise where it has been earned. The Germans can be long on criticism and very short on praise.

Nicht geschimpft, ist genug gelobt translates into “Not criticized is praise enough.” Or perhaps the scanty praise they give is enough for the Germans. They are certainly not lacking in self-esteem, motivation, ambition or drive.

The Germans speak of the happy filter in the U.S. Happy filter? Each time results are reported upwards in an American organization they become more positive, with the goal of keeping the higher-ups in the hierarchy happy. It can become a kind of incrementally inflated euphoria. Self-intoxicating. A step-by-step distancing from a sober assessment of reality. “Don’t worry. Be Happy.“

Friend. Freund.

What is a friend?

MerriamWebster online writes: a person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something; one attached to another by affection or esteem; a favored companion.

Middle English frend, from Old English frēond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frēon to love, frēo free. First Known Use: before 12th century. Among its synonyms are alter ego, amgo, buddy, chum, compadre. comrade, confidant, crony, familiar, intimate, pal.

What is a Freund?

dwds(dot)de writes: Vertrauter, someone you can trust; jemandem innerlich verbundener Mensch, a person who is especially close to another. Old High German (8th Century) vriunt, friend, next closest, mate, relative.

This is not the place to address how Americans and Germans diverge in the understanding of friend, friendship, what it means to be a friend. But here is a thought:

Is it not the true friend who has your best interests in mind, and therefore is willing to risk the loss of your friendship in order to convey a message which is painfully important for you to hear?

Formulated differently: What true friend, who sees that you are on the wrong path, would not speak to you about it?

Euphemisms

Because Americans find it difficult separate what they say from the person they are saying it to – especially in the case of criticism – they strive to use softer, more indirect language, including euphemisms: mild or indirect words or expressions substituted for ones considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

Examples of euphemisms: pre-owned car instead of a used car, sex worker instead of a prostitute, to be between jobs instead of to be unemployed, senior citizen instead of old person, underserved neighborhood or underserved population instead of the poor, or an impoverished, needy neighborhood.

Further examples: economically disadvantaged instead of poor; temporary negative cash flow instead of broke; enhanced interrogation methods instead of torture; collateral damage instead of civilian deaths.

About George Carlin.