criticism Archives - Page 3 of 4

Steve Jobs – Merciless Criticism

An article on Jony Ive, the head of design at Apple Computer, in the New Yorker Magazine from February 23, 2105 touches on how the late Steve Jobs gave constructive feedback:

“Jobs’s taste for merciless criticism was notorious. Ive recalled that, years ago, after seeing colleagues crushed, he protested. Jobs replied, ‘Why would you be vague?,’ arguing that ambiguity was a form of selfishness: ‘You don’t care about how they feel! You’re being vain, you want them to like you.’

Ive was furious, but came to agree. ‘It’s really demeaning to think that, in this deep desire to be liked, you’ve compromised giving clear, unambiguous feedback,’ he said. He lamented that there were ‘so many anecdotes’ about Jobs’s acerbity: ‘His intention, and motivation, wasn’t to be hurtful.'”

Steve Jobs. More German than American logic.

„If you can‘t say anything positive”

Euphemism: The substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant: eliminate for kill; suboptimal for below standard; interesting for bad; issue or challenge for problem; career change, early retirement opportunity, career transition, involuntarily separation for being fired;

economically disadvantaged for poor; temporary negative cash flow for broke; substandard housing or economically depressed neighborhood for slum; collateral damage for deaths of women and children and old people; pre-owned vehicle for used car; adult beverages for alcohol.

Almost every American has at some point in their lives heard the statement „If you can‘t say anything positive, don‘t say anything at all.“ Americans are careful about giving negative feedback. Charles Schwab has been quoted: “I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.”

Diane Krueger

mobil. Magazine of the German Rail. December 2017. An interview with the actor Diane Krüger. Question: “Colleagues for your earlier years claim that you were extremely ambitious. Is it true?”

Krüger: “When I was a little girl my mother never said to me: ‘You’re the best, the greatest, the most beautiful’. Instead all she ever said was: ‘Work harder. You can do better.'”

No Political Correctness

The Germans communicate directly, transparently, honestly. They speak their mind freely. Especially when it concerns critical feedback the Germans try to be clear and straightforward. They avoid the use of euphemisms. Germans reject any kind of smooth-talking. Aalglatte, literally eel-smooth or eel-slippery people are viewed as having questionable character. They are not honest enough to state their opinion openly.

Das Kind beim Namen nennen. To call the child by its name. To describe a situation as it is, directly, in no uncertain terms; without flowery, positive language; to avoid describing a situation indirectly; to communicate clearly; to get to the point.

Kein Blatt vor den Mund nehmen. Literally to not put a handheld fan in front of one‘s mouth. To address a subject directly, to state one‘s opinion; from the early days of theater when members of the audience held a type of fan in front of the lower half of their face in order to shout out comments of the play without others attributing the statements to them.

George Carlin

New York Times. May 11, 2022. One of America’s greatest stand-up comics. A satirist in the deepest sense. George Carlin. Always critical of his homeland. Its short-comings. Its deceits. For many a true patriotic American.

Sandwich Method

The sandwich method is describes the American approach to giving negative feedback. Its goal is to communicate criticism in a way which will avoid demotivating the other person. Like a sandwich with a slice a bread on both the top and the bottom, praise is given at the beginning and the end of the feedback talk. In the middle is the substance of the conversation, the points of criticism. Open with praise. Communicate criticism. Close with praise.

Is there anything new about this? Research on the American approach to communicating criticism over the last fifty to one hundred years would probably show that it is not. American ears know to listen carefully after the positive has been said. They listen for the nuances, the terms used, especially the euphemisms. This makes it all the more complex and difficult to understand for non-Americans, regardless of strong their command of the English language.

„You did a fine job.“

Why Germans Don’t Sugarcoat Anything

You think they’re rude. They think you’re fake. So… who’s right?” 🇩🇪 Germans have a reputation for being brutally direct — but what if that’s just radical honesty, not rudeness? In this video, I’ll explain why Germans say exactly what they mean (and why that sometimes sounds harsh to the rest of the world).

Comments:

„You look tired“ also means: I care about your well being, can I help?

Rude compared to whom? As a Swede I find Germans being polite and sensetive .

Here in Germany we have a saying: TRUE WORDS ARE NOT ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL AND BEAUTIFUL WORDS ARE NOT ALWAYS TRUE.

Mr. German Man is direct

An American woman. Married to a German man. How her husband is very direct. And about how Americans learn to be indirect, especially when giving negative feedback.

Warning ! This woman is a youtuber. And an American on top. So, she is more than a bit animated. And frankly, she could have made her points in about two minutes instead of seven and a half.

Watch the first three minutes.

Bringing back directness

Texas trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher comes from the land of bless-your-heart politeness but says pleasantries threaten workplace culture.

“There’s this tendency to tiptoe around the heart of the matter,” he says. “It’s not going to go well for you over time, and you’re going to find that people will trust you less.”

In the future, offices could become even more passive-aggressive, unless we practice the art of disagreement. The Wall Street Journal spoke with Fisher, author of “The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More,” about how to bring directness back to the workplace.

Mommy issues

Comments: “They become weak and then they become American.” … “My mom says “geh mit Gott aber geh” (Go with God, but go)” … “My mother is German, and as a child when I would get upset over something she would say to me, “YOU AMERICANS ARE SO SENSITIVE!” *my father is American. I grew up in the states lol” … “We only miss people when they die.” A bit harsh, but thats the German way.”