direct vs. indirect – Page 3 – understand-culture

Manager as Neutral Party

German team leads have an impersonal, business-like relationship with their team members. They maintain emotional distance from the team in order to guaranty neutrality and fairness. Especially when providing feedback on performance do they focus on results and not on the person.

This sachlich – impersonal, neutral, business-like – approach can be observed in the personal interaction between manager and team. When providing feedback German team leads are reserved, unemotional, their body language limited to a handshake. Neutrality is the key.

Whether discussing past performance or formulating new goals, the Germans focus on the facts, ideally on what is measurable. A discussion about development addresses professional skills and less so personal development. Critique is communicated in a respectful and serious way. Humour is considered disrespectful and unprofessional.

If the feedback discussion includes criticism, German managers strive to be particularly neutral, unemotional, fact-oriented. This reduces the potential for an escalation of emotions. The two parties should focus on performance. The discussion is impersonal and objective.

Mr. German Man is direct

An American woman. Married to a German man. How her husband is very direct. And about how Americans learn to be indirect, especially when giving negative feedback.

Warning ! This woman is a youtuber. And an American on top. So, she is more than a bit animated. And frankly, she could have made her points in about two minutes instead of seven and a half.

Watch the first three minutes.

“Well, that was complete shit.”

Berliners respond to the question “Are we Germans direct?”:

And one of the comments from a German: “When I was in high school, I can remember, another student gave a poorly-prepared presentation. Directly thereafter the teacher simply looked at him and said in English: “Well, that was complete shit.”

Still too direct

“Germans, in general, can often be more direct and straightforward than Americans, and to be honest even after living here for eight years, that directness is still sometimes a little shocking for me, a little bit too much, or even sometimes has made me cry!”

A German comment: “Just your example about some shop assistent telling you that the piece of clothing does not fit you at all: I’m always more suspicious about a shop assistent telling me how good it fits keeping in mind he or she just wants their merchandise sold. So I tend more to appreciate an honest, though maybe direct answer.”

Another German comment: “I’m always irritated how well the Americans can hide the truth of what they are thinking behind compliments and smiles. In Germany If you are getting an honest critique, then the person likes you, thinks said critique can improve you and is interested that you do better. So its a good thing 😉 “

Oh, here’s a good one: “As a German, i feel like lying when i am asked about my opinion and i would try to let it sound “nicer”. Everyone is honest and tells what they think about everything. I tried for a while the way that is used in the staates and i gat really that awfull feeling of lying and i konstantly had to think about how i say things and not what i like to say.

In my opinion germans are just used to that honesty and fee unconfortable to alter the opinion just to sound nicer. The other way around, when i meet people from the staates, i have allways that feeling they are sneaky and false, they try to hide their thoughts behind words. I was never sure how they really are and think.”

German language aggressive?

An American woman in Germany: “This video was so fun to make! German gets made fun for sounding aggressive (but it’s not if you watch this video!), but little did we know, French had some unexpected funny moments too for sounding so short 🙂 Watch and see what I mean.”

YouTube comments:

“The German guy was so friendly and seemed so huggable! I really liked him. I’m learning German so I know sometimes there’s a stereotype about Germans being grumpy but I know it’s totally not true.”

“As a German I actually laughed at some German words for the first time. Because every time I watch comparison video they speak German way too aggressively but here the pronunciation is true to the original, which actually makes stuff like gums vs. Zahnfleisch funny to think about.”

Say what you do. Do what you say.

“Say what you do and do what you say”, that’s the motto of German engineer, Norber Rudat. I think 99.9% of Germans would agree with it.

But wait, wouldn’t everyone, from every culture, agree with it? Perhaps. But are other cultures as literal about it? And I don’t mean literal-minded, but instead meaning something literally as they say it.

For example, do Americans always mean exactly what they say? And do they always say exactly what they mean? What about other cultures: China, France, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico?

Remembrance, Responsibility

A notable historical example of a German company successfully using neutral, performance-focused feedback is Daimler-Benz (now Mercedes-Benz Group) during its process of historical reappraisal after World War II. In the 1980s, Daimler-Benz became one of the first German companies to appoint an independent commission of experts to conduct a scientific and objective study of its activities during the Nazi era.

This approach was marked by a clear separation of personal feelings from professional responsibility, with the company focusing on facts, accountability, and measurable actions rather than emotional statements or personal blame. The findings led to formal reparations and the establishment of the industry foundation “Remembrance, Responsibility and Future,” involving over 6,500 German companies. The process and communication were characterized by a neutral, unemotional tone, focusing on performance (in this case, historical accountability and reparations) rather than personal sentiment.

Jack Barsky was too pushy

“Barsky discovered that the people who trained him (Russian KGB) did not have an authentic understanding of Americans, and he struggled at first with his assignment. While his instructions were to infiltrate political circles and get close to Brzezinski (National Security Advisor under US President Jimmy Carter), he was not given specific instructions on how he was supposed to accomplish that.

He also learned that while his English was excellent, he was very pushy and argumentative when dealing with people. He was shocked when he was confronted with this fact by a fed-up friend. He realized that he was essentially too East German to fit in.” From Wikipedia

See the CBS 60 Minutes story on Jack Barsky:

Jordan Peterson’s interview with Jack Barsky is extraordinarily fascinating:

analytical observation

Thematic Exploration of Detachment: The tradition of professional detachment is also evident in the thematic exploration of roles and identities. Robert Musil’s Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften (The Man Without Qualities) presents a protagonist who is self-possessed and detached, navigating life with a sense of analytical observation rather than emotional engagement. This reflects the German cultural logic of evaluating situations and people based on objective qualities and performance, not personal sentiment.

awkwardness

Stromberg (2004–2012). Context: A satirical workplace comedy (German adaptation of “The Office”). Illustration: While the show is comedic and its main character is often inappropriate, much of the humor comes from the contrast between German directness in feedback and the awkwardness of mixing personal and professional spheres. The series lampoons, but also highlights, the expectation that feedback should be about work, not personality.