On Amazon.com, there are 125,927 search results for books involving small talk. On BarnesandNoble.com, thee are 328 books found under small talk. Titles include The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep it Going, Build Networking Skills—and Leave a Positive Impression by Debra Fine and Turn Small Talk into Big Deals: Using 4 Key Conversation Styles to Customize Your Networking Approach, Build Relationships, and Win More Clients by Don Gabor.
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More books about Small Talk
Amazon Germany lists 196 books with ‘small talk’ in their title. The best sellers are Small Talk für Dummies, Small Talk – Nie Wieder Sprachlos (Never Again Speechless) and Small Talk – Die Besten Themen (The Best Topics).
The typical table of contents reads: What is small talk? What purpose does small talk serve? In what situations do you use small talk? When can small talk be dangerous or uncalled for? When do you need small talk? What topics are appropriate in small talk? Which topics are dangerous in small talk? Small talk and body language. How to react to small talk? How to deal with small talk in difficult situations?
Nearly two hundred books. What does this tell us about small talk in Germany?
„Only fools criticize“
In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People (published in 1936 with more than fifteen million copies) the famous American businessman Dale Carnegie made the following statements which have been taken to heart by generations of Americans:
“Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.”
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.”
“You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”
“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument — and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
Unfortunate Selling Techniques
In the children’s book series, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (the pen name of American Daniel Handler), three recently orphaned children are initially placed in the custody of Mr. Poe, the banker who is in charge of the large fortune that they will inherit when Violet, the eldest, comes of age. Mr. Poe soon finds a distant relative who is willing to adopt the orphans, and the children move in with Count Olaf, their third/fourth cousin several times removed.
As it turns out, Count Olaf is not interested in raising the orphans, but only in stealing their parents’ fortune. After his first failed attempt to steal it, he has to go on the run to avoid the police, and the children are sent to live with a different relative.
Undeterred, Count Olaf will attempt to steal the orphans’ fortune multiple times over the course of the next several books, each time masquerading as a respectable member of the local community. In the first book, he is a count, in the second, he pretends to be a herpetological assistant, in the third, a retired captain, and so on.
Every time that the children discover one of Count Olaf’s disguises, they attempt to elicit the help of their legal guardian and/or the banker Mr. Poe. Even though the orphans point out mistakes in the count’s disguises, Count Olaf is so skilled at selling himself that the adults ignore the mistakes and contradictions in his product (his disguises) until they become extremely obvious.