Why Germans Don’t Sugarcoat Anything

You think they’re rude. They think you’re fake. So… who’s right?” 🇩🇪 Germans have a reputation for being brutally direct — but what if that’s just radical honesty, not rudeness? In this video, I’ll explain why Germans say exactly what they mean (and why that sometimes sounds harsh to the rest of the world).

Comments:

„You look tired“ also means: I care about your well being, can I help?

Rude compared to whom? As a Swede I find Germans being polite and sensetive .

Here in Germany we have a saying: TRUE WORDS ARE NOT ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL AND BEAUTIFUL WORDS ARE NOT ALWAYS TRUE.

Why Germans don’t give compliments

The absence of criticism can be taken as praise in Germany, Courtney Tenz learned the hard way. On Compliment Day she explains why she misses superficial American compliments, but appreciates the German approach.

“Though it has taken me more than a decade, I have finally come to terms with the fact that in Germany, I won’t be complimented on everything I do and when  if  I garner attention for praise, it will likely be more sincere than anything I’d have heard in the US. Like the one a young girl recently gave me after I visited the beauty salon: ‘You look much better now that your gray hair is gone.'”

unwavering objectivity

Siegfried Lenz – Deutschstunde (The German Lesson, 1968). In this novel, the main character’s father is a policeman who enforces rules and regulations with unwavering objectivity, regardless of personal relationships. The story explores the consequences of prioritizing duty and performance over personal feelings, reflecting the German value of separating the personal from the professional.

German elementary schools

Deutsche Welle – Do you know your Gymnasium from your Gesamtschule? The German school system is certainly complicated. For this week’s Meet the Germans, Rachel heads back to the classroom to get to grips with the different types of schools and to find out what kids like about going to school in Germany.

Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from German books to German-Turkish culture or Germany’s obsession with cars. This week: German schools and the education system.

Recognition

German praise is often communicated by a simple nod of the head or a gut gemacht, „well done.“ Too much praise can be seen by both parties as exaggerated, not objective, emotional, not to be taken seriously. In Germany it is important to auf dem Teppich bleiben, literally to keep your feet on the carpet. Exaggerated praise can easily be interpreted as sarcasm.

In Germany, praise in the presence of other colleagues is even more seldom, and is a sign of truly exceptional performance. But even in that context the Germans distinguish between excellent and exceptional work. Praise should always be closely in line with actual performance.

At his retirement ceremony the president of a prestigious German-European research institution was praised with the words: „He is a kind, humble person, who led others based on fairness and objective standards, and who from time to time had valuable scientific breakthroughs. He never sought the spotlight.“ His „valuable publications“ were also praised. The speaker said at the end „You have done a good job!“

Sandwich Method

The sandwich method is describes the American approach to giving negative feedback. Its goal is to communicate criticism in a way which will avoid demotivating the other person. Like a sandwich with a slice a bread on both the top and the bottom, praise is given at the beginning and the end of the feedback talk. In the middle is the substance of the conversation, the points of criticism. Open with praise. Communicate criticism. Close with praise.

Is there anything new about this? Research on the American approach to communicating criticism over the last fifty to one hundred years would probably show that it is not. American ears know to listen carefully after the positive has been said. They listen for the nuances, the terms used, especially the euphemisms. This makes it all the more complex and difficult to understand for non-Americans, regardless of strong their command of the English language.

„You did a fine job.“

Mr. German Man is deflationary

An American woman. About how her German husband is deflationary with scores. And how she is inflationary. Can’t separate the two.

Now this woman is a youtuber. And an American on top. So, she is more than a bit animated. And frankly, she could have made her points in about two minutes instead of seven and a half. But wait, it’s YouTube. And not a webinar.

Begin watching at minute 4:00.

composure and impartiality

Modernist and Post-War Literature: German literary modernism and post-war literature frequently highlight the tension between emotional involvement and the need for objective, rational behavior-especially in the aftermath of social and historical upheaval. These works often depict characters struggling to maintain professional composure and impartiality, reinforcing the value placed on detached, performance-focused feedback.

Too rude

Leon Lederman, the author of the book The God Particle (Higgs Boson) originally wanted to call it The Goddamn Particle because the particle was proving very difficult to find, but his publishers thought that this sounded too rude.

Higgs Boson is a particle which is largely responsible for the mass of subatomic particles. It took almost five decades after the particle was first postulated to find it, largely because of the high energy needed to produce it and how quickly it decays into smaller particles.

Mommy issues

Comments: “They become weak and then they become American.” … “My mom says “geh mit Gott aber geh” (Go with God, but go)” … “My mother is German, and as a child when I would get upset over something she would say to me, “YOU AMERICANS ARE SO SENSITIVE!” *my father is American. I grew up in the states lol” … “We only miss people when they die.” A bit harsh, but thats the German way.”

understand-culture
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.