Small Talk

Glück

From DW – Let’s face it, we could all do with a bit of good luck this year. Rachel is on the hunt for lucky charms in Germany and finding out a bit about German happiness along the way. Is Germany a happy nation? What brings good or bad luck in Germany? And why is Rachel on a pig farm? Find out in this week’s Meet the Germans.

A teacher in German commented: “I’m actually studying to become a teacher and we intentionally wish the students “success” and not “good luck” because of the very reason you stated: we want them to feel like they can have an impact on the result by studying and not just being lucky.”

Another commend: “The secretary at the welcome desk in our university mentioned to me that the following day was her birthday, and I very innocently and enthusiastically said, “Alles Gute!”. I will never forget the almost terrifying face, the awkward silence, like I had committed a crime. “It’s not really good to wish someone happy birthday before the day,” she said. I had no idea. She tried to laugh it off, but her eyes looked seriously worried I carry the guilt to this day.”

German compound words

This video is pure genius. It gives superb examples of how the German language enables one to communicate very complex emotions in just one word, typically a compound of two or more words.

Futterneid. Kummerspeck. Luftschloss. Lebensmüde. Schadenfreude. The list goes on and on. Talk to your German colleagues about this. You’ll love the conversation.

Why Germans Won’t Tell You How They Feel

One of the many clichés about Germany and the Germans says that they act in a not very friendly or even rude manner towards strangers. You might get that impression when you first come to Germany and try to get to know somebody else on a train, a bar or at work.

Especially as an American, you might be used to getting in contact with strangers really quickly. In Germany, you probably won’t. It is a scientifically proven fact that German people simply don’t chat in public places when they don’t know each other. But what is often interpreted as rude manners, is more like a basic inability of Germans to small talk – they simply are not used to it.

How Rude!

If you’ve done any research into German culture, you’ve likely come across blogs, articles and forum discussions on the subject of German directness. Less politically-correct results may even simply state that Germans are rude.

It’s a topic of discussion as old as time; or, at least, as old as the Internet’s mainstream popularity. There is a lot of material on the subject, and it all basically comes to the same conclusion: Germans aren’t rude; they’re just direct and honest. If you can’t handle it, you need to grow a thicker skin.

Germans aren’t big on Small Talk

When my German girlfriend came here to New York years ago, she told me, “you are not going to believe this! I sat down at a cafe, and the waitress said ‘how are you?’ She didn’t even know me!” (a comment on YouTube)

So that’s why Germans are good at stuff, no bullshit, straight to the point. (another comment on YouTube)

This is by far my favourite episode right now. The lady with the grey sweater is HILARIOUS, she made me laugh out loud. But hey, why should we do small talk anyway? It’s a British concept and people are not obliged to conform themselves ! (yet another comment)

Interesting. Very insightful and helpful. I find that Germans sometimes feel uncomfortable talking with strangers. It appears to be the case in your video as well. But also it seems that the longer you talk to them the more comfortable and open they become. I suppose this is true anywhere you go but Germans appear to be a bit less interested in small talk. So I think persistence pays off when trying to start a conversation with Germans. (a great comment … persistence!)

Funny side of the German language

False friends, ridiculous grammar and never-ending nouns. German is by no means an easy language. However, it has its funny side too, as we find out in this week’s episode of Meet the Germans.

YouTube comments:

“I love all the ‘thing’ words we have: Feuerzeug = fire thing (lighter) Fahrzeug = driving thing (vehicle) Spielzeug = play thing (toy) Werkzeug = craft/labour thing (tool) Or some of our animals: Nilpferd = nile horse (hippo) Nashorn = nose horn (rhino) Stachelschwein = spike pig (porcupine) Waschbär = wash bear (raccoon) Faultier = lazy animal (sloth) Schnabeltier = beak animal (platypus)”

“Yeah german gets a lot easier when you understand that most of these long words are just two short words connected.”

“I’m german and i got the impression that mostly negative things about the german language circulate the web, like it sounds rough, unfriendly, is difficult to learn and overly complicated. It’s really nice seeing it in a positive, funny and native way and i hope it helps foreigners to see it in a different light. We are and used to be famous for our writers and poets, so the language has to be fit for that kind of work and those people also benefitted the language in that regard. On the other hand we are famous for our engeneering and our scinetists so another major part of our language is logical, accurate and descriptive. Our language has multiple different layers which are often overlooked, quite understandably to be honest, and I think the german language is beautiful in its own, rough mantled way. :D”

Germans aren’t big on Small Talk

So that’s why Germans are good at stuff, no bullshit, straight to the point. (another comment on YouTube)

Small talk in the USA gets communication going. Small talk allows people to get a sense for the overall atmosphere. Americans seldom jump directly into serioius business subject matter. Examples

Small Talk

In the German business context small talk is short in duration. Germans transition quickly from small talk topics to topics of substance. They see little value in talking about the weather, sports or their most recent vacation. Germans don’t like to waste time. They like to get to the point. Examples

Small Talk

German Approach

In the German business context small talk is short in duration. Germans transition quickly to issues of substance. They see little value in talking about the weather, sports or their most recent vacation. Examples

American Approach

Small talk in the USA gets communication going. Small talk allows people to get a sense for the overall atmosphere. Americans seldom jump directly into serioius business subject matter. Examples

American View

Germans are aware that small talk in the U.S. is important. There are even books and seminars teaching the art of small talk.

Nonetheless, Germans get impatient with American small talk. It takes up valuable time. They begin to check their watches. For Germans it is not a must to be a personal friend with the people they do business with.

In fact, they can do business with people they don‘t like. Friendly relations are nice, but not a requirement.

German View

Brief German small talk can seem obligatory, as if they were just „going through the motions.“ Their sudden transition from casual conversation to serious topics is for Americans a sign of impatience.

The Germans, unfortunate and unintended, can come across as impersonal and unfriendly. And who wants to work with unfriendly people? Americans don‘t.

Advice to Germans

All American relationships, including those in the business context, are personal. If it isn‘t personal, it isn‘t a relationship. Small talk is the most basic form of how Americans maintain communication.

Learn how to do it. You can. Just go with the flow. Open yourself up. Get a bit more personal. If you have good rapport, you‘ll move through the business topics much more quickly, and in that way save time.

Advice to Americans

Keep small talk to a minimum. Listen carefully for signals when the Germans want to move from small to big talk. This is not a sign of disinterest, of being impersonal or unfriendly.

The Germans get personal in non-business settings, at lunch, dinner, on the weekends. They have a great sense of humor, have all sorts of hobbies and interests outside of work.

And keep in mind, that Germans can and will do business with you even if you have little or no personal relationship. Most importantly, they want to know if you are good at what you do. Personal is nice. Professional is better.