The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther Greenwood’s experiences in the workplace and as an intern are shaped by feedback from supervisors and colleagues. Praise boosts her confidence, while criticism is felt as a personal setback, illustrating the emotional impact of feedback and the intertwining of personal and professional spheres.
performance
mentor-mentee
The Intern (2015). Ben (Robert De Niro), a senior intern, and Jules (Anne Hathaway), a young CEO, develop a close mentor-mentee relationship. Feedback is delivered with empathy and care, and both characters grow personally and professionally through their interactions. The film highlights how feedback is tailored to the individual and is meant to support both performance and personal well-being.
fragile mother
Good Bye, Lenin! (2003). Context: A son tries to protect his fragile mother from the truth about the fall of the Berlin Wall. Illustration: Although the film is comedic and emotional, scenes involving hospital staff, government officials, and bureaucrats consistently show feedback and communication that is formal, factual, and impersonal, especially in professional contexts.
Critique and Humour
German colleagues will at times communicate critical feedback with irony, hoping to gain a smirk or a smile. This is not meant to make fun of the colleague whose work is being criticized, but rather to add a lightness to the criticism.
The person criticized is given the opportunity to accept the feedback with a sense of humour and light-heartedness. The Germans value the ability to maintain a healthy, objective distance to one‘s own work.
Humor: the ability to accept with lightness personal imperfections and those of the world, as well as the difficulties of daily life.
the wrong way
“Don’t take it the wrong way.” Meaning: Acknowledges that feedback might feel personal and encourages the recipient to see the positive intent behind it.
Impersonal Critique
In the German context feedback about one‘s work is in and of itself not personal. Germans – team leads as well as members – can argue vehemently about business topics and at the same time have a friendly, collegial working relationship. German management can criticize harshly an employee but still respect and personally like that individual. In Germany feedback is not personal.
In German team meetings open, honest, direct feedback is not only permitted, it is desired. Weaknesses in individual performance are addressed by team lead and members alike. The criticism, however, is not meant, and is not taken, as a personal attack, not jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen (to tell them off), but more to „get a it on the table“, in den Raum stellen.
Jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen: to say something critical to another person‘s face; to say something mean, unfair, provoking; to tell someone the unadultered truth; to give another person „a piece of your mind.“
Etwas in den Raum stellen: to put something in the room; to raise a question, a problem; to comment on, to make an observation; to bring a subject into the discussion.
considerate, personal
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Meaning: Emphasizes the importance of delivering feedback in a considerate, personal manner.
Fair Critical Feedback
Germans consider critical feedback to be unfair if it does not include concrete recommendations on how to improve on weaknesses. They believe that people can only improve on what they understand to be suboptimal. Critial feedback, the Germans believe, should therefore be communicated clearly, avoiding any use of politically correct language.
The more objective and impersonal the critical feedback is stated, the less chance it will be taken personally. Feedback experts in Germany go as far as to view personal relationships within teams as a barrier to honest, effective feedback. They often recommend neutral third parties to facilitate particularly critical feedback discussions.
reflection of personal worth
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. The March sisters’ growth is closely tied to feedback from family, friends, and mentors. Jo, in particular, responds emotionally to feedback on her writing and work, viewing it as a reflection of her personal worth and aspirations.
deeply personal
9 to 5 (1980). Three women, frustrated by their sexist boss, band together to improve their toxic workplace. The feedback they receive – dismissal, condescension, and lack of recognition – is deeply personal and motivates them to take action. Their eventual success is celebrated as both professional and personal vindication.