Ted Lasso. Context: Follows an American football coach leading a British soccer team. Illustration: Ted’s feedback style is empathetic, supportive, and always considers how his words will affect each player personally. The series is a masterclass in emotionally intelligent, personal feedback that drives both performance and well-being.
performance
internalized
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. Willy Loman’s self-worth is deeply tied to his professional success and the feedback he receives from employers, family, and society. Praise or criticism of his work is internalized as a judgment of his personal value, highlighting how professional feedback in American culture is often experienced as personal affirmation or rejection.
Holden takes it personally
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Holden Caulfield’s interactions at school and work are colored by how feedback affects his sense of self. When teachers, peers, or employers critique his performance or attitude, Holden takes it personally, reflecting the American tendency to link feedback on work with personal identity.
Esther Greenwood
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther Greenwood’s experiences in the workplace and as an intern are shaped by feedback from supervisors and colleagues. Praise boosts her confidence, while criticism is felt as a personal setback, illustrating the emotional impact of feedback and the intertwining of personal and professional spheres.
mentor-mentee
The Intern (2015). Ben (Robert De Niro), a senior intern, and Jules (Anne Hathaway), a young CEO, develop a close mentor-mentee relationship. Feedback is delivered with empathy and care, and both characters grow personally and professionally through their interactions. The film highlights how feedback is tailored to the individual and is meant to support both performance and personal well-being.
fragile mother
Good Bye, Lenin! (2003). Context: A son tries to protect his fragile mother from the truth about the fall of the Berlin Wall. Illustration: Although the film is comedic and emotional, scenes involving hospital staff, government officials, and bureaucrats consistently show feedback and communication that is formal, factual, and impersonal, especially in professional contexts.
Critique and Humour
German colleagues will at times communicate critical feedback with irony, hoping to gain a smirk or a smile. This is not meant to make fun of the colleague whose work is being criticized, but rather to add a lightness to the criticism.
The person criticized is given the opportunity to accept the feedback with a sense of humour and light-heartedness. The Germans value the ability to maintain a healthy, objective distance to one‘s own work.
Humor: the ability to accept with lightness personal imperfections and those of the world, as well as the difficulties of daily life.
the wrong way
“Don’t take it the wrong way.” Meaning: Acknowledges that feedback might feel personal and encourages the recipient to see the positive intent behind it.
Impersonal Critique
In the German context feedback about one‘s work is in and of itself not personal. Germans – team leads as well as members – can argue vehemently about business topics and at the same time have a friendly, collegial working relationship. German management can criticize harshly an employee but still respect and personally like that individual. In Germany feedback is not personal.
In German team meetings open, honest, direct feedback is not only permitted, it is desired. Weaknesses in individual performance are addressed by team lead and members alike. The criticism, however, is not meant, and is not taken, as a personal attack, not jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen (to tell them off), but more to „get a it on the table“, in den Raum stellen.
Jemandem etwas ins Gesicht sagen: to say something critical to another person‘s face; to say something mean, unfair, provoking; to tell someone the unadultered truth; to give another person „a piece of your mind.“
Etwas in den Raum stellen: to put something in the room; to raise a question, a problem; to comment on, to make an observation; to bring a subject into the discussion.
considerate, personal
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Meaning: Emphasizes the importance of delivering feedback in a considerate, personal manner.