Politeness is so ingrained in Americans that sometimes they will respond with the polite formality before realizing that their politeness might seem a little out of place. In the American television show “Scrubs: Med School” the main character, a med student named Lucy, complains to her teacher that she doesn’t feel like he’s trying to teach her anything. The teacher tells her that he’s not, because he doesn’t waste time on people who won’t succeed. Her response to this was “Thank you” before walking off and criticizing herself for thanking him.
come across as a command
Giving advice to someone is not as simple as just telling them what to do, especially in an intercultural situation where more sensitivity needs to be applied. The problem is that if the advice you give is too direct it can come across as a command. What if you haven’t understood the situation correctly or completely, and your advice is no good? The person seeking your advice needs ‘an out’ – a way that they can reject your advice, or reformulate their request for advice without losing face – or causing you to lose face!
Harry Truman Plain Speaker
Americans who use direct communication are typically labelled as plain speakers. It is difficult for plain speakers to rise high in American politics, and one of the few to do so was Harry Truman.
Truman’s entrée into politics began in 1922, when he was elected to be a judge in the Jackson County Court. He served as a judge from 1922 to 1924, but despite his reputation for honesty and efficiency, was not reelected in 1924. Undeterred, Harry ran for judge again in 1926, this time winning his election.
In 1934, Truman became a senator, and in 1944 he was nominated to run as vice president with President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The two men won their campaign, and Truman then came to office as president following FDR’s death in April 1945.
In 1948, Truman ran for reelection, and to the shock of the public (who considered his defeat inevitable), Truman won reelection. In fact, Truman’s defeat was so widely anticipated that some newspapers went to print with the headline “Dewey Defeats Truman” before the election results were known. As a result, there is a famous photograph of Truman smiling as he holds up one of these newspapers after winning the presidency.
Harry Truman left the presidency in 1953 and retired from political life. Some examples of Truman’s Plain-speech:
On why he opposed silencing dissenters: “Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.”
On why he would not accept the Medal of Honor: “I don’t consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise.”
On politics: “We now see that other past presidents, have found a new level of success in cashing in on the presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Obviously, political offices are now for sale.”
On politics: “My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference. I, for one, believe the piano player job to be much more honorable than current politicians.“
Controversial !
Germans seek out lively discussions. And lively are those involving clear differences of opinion. And the more complex and relevant the topic, all the more interesting the conversation.
Except for topics which are plainly too personal and sensitive, Germans are willing to address almost any controversial topic. They enjoy the intellectual give and take. Controversial discussions are a form of mental chess.
At a deeper level Germans want to demonstrate that they are well informed, are proud of their high level of education, want to show a broad world view, that they are anything but provincial. Most importantly, Germans want people to know that they think independently, critically, do not simply agree with the masses.
“Break the ice”
Small talk exists in every culture. It serves several important functions. Small talk closes distances, prevents silence, facilitates politeness within social exchange. Small talk serves as a bridge when two or more parties are willing and able to communicate and are also expected to do so, yet not about substantial topics. Small talk fills gaps in a personal and pleasant way.
To break the ice is an American idiom meaning to get beyond the first uncomfortable, unpleasant or embarrassing feelings when people meet for the first time. One breaks the ice usually through light-hearted conversation or playful action.
Stay with the flow
Germans avoid interrupting the flow of a conversation, a speech, or any kind presentation for several reasons. First, out of respect for the presenter and the other listeners. Second, because they assume they will gain clarity by simply continuing to follow the flow. Third, they do not feel comfortable admitting that perhaps their English language skills are not as good as they should be.
Lieber Armin Laschet
Bitte nicht immer “wir müssen” sagen, sondern eher “wir werden alles unternehmen, dass wir … erreichen”. Mehr zupackend argumentieren, der klare Wille muss bei den Menschen ankommen. Danke.
Please don’t always say “we must”, but instead more like “we will do everything possible, so that we … achieve more.” Argue more dynamically. Get across clear determination and willpower. Thanks.
That was the advice given by a German professor for information security and data privacy. As a comment on an article in LinkedIn.
Armin Laschet, the Premier (think governor) of Germany’s most populous state, Northrhine Westphalia, is the Christian Democratic Union – CDU (think Adenauer, Kohl, Merkel) chancellor candidate in the September 2021 federal elections in Germany.
Be careful what you say
Sony Pictures Entertainment has been under intense heat following an email hacking scandal that was exposed near the end of 2014. This scandal also revealed some underlying tensions between employees and some very famous celebrities.
The employees reportedly did not want to work with certain stars because they found them to be “minimally talented.” These jabs, although indirect, could later influence the possibility of the two parties working together.
This type of behavior backfired on the employees in question, as they later stepped down from their position. To alienate potential clients based on personal feelings diminishes the potential of a company.
Discussion. Disagreement. Argument.
“Relating to or causing much discussion, disagreement, or argument.“ So defines MerriamWebster the term controversy. „Abortion is a highly controversial subject.“ Or „a decision that remains controversial.“ Or „He is a controversial author.“
First known use is 1583. Synonyms: argumentative, contentious, disputatious, hot-button, polemical. Antonyms: noncontroversial, safe, uncontroversial.
Safe.
Bit which topics are safe, which unsafe, in the American context? Which will not lead to an argument, which will? How can a person not native to the U.S. know the answers to these questions?
Safe topics?
Agassi hacks Becker
Two of the greatest tennis players of all time. Looking for any advantage, no matter how slight, in order to gain an edge. Andre was a very careful observer.