Communication – understand-culture

Willing to argue

The dictionary defines streitbar as follows: [constantly] prepared, having the will to, argue, with someone over something, to critically and activelydispute something; to fight for or about something, to take a stand for something or someone, a fighter; [older] prepared for battle; warrior-like, brave.

The adjective streitbar has a very positive connotation in the German language. In recalling famous persons one often reads the sentence Er war streitbar – he was streitbar.

Politicians are ever more frequently characterized as being streitbar. Streitbar does not mean that one seeks out conflicts in a negative sense. Rather, it means to stand up for ones beliefs, and not avoid serious confrontations.

Cocktail Party

Americans say: “There are three things you never address at a cocktail party: sex, politics, and religion.” All three are perceived as private or overly controversial for an occasion like a cocktail party, as a metaphor for information interactions.

Discussion of religion and politics could make some people feel that you are either in agreement with them or opposed, feelings which could provoke tense conversations. Discussing sports, weather and family are considered to be safe topics with which to begin a conversation.

Why Germans Don’t Say ‘Sorry’ Every Five Minutes

In this video, I’ll explain why Germans don’t apologize for every little thing and how their version of “sorry” (or “Es tut mir leid”) carries real weight. You’ll learn how German communication culture treats apology as sincerity, not social reflex. By the end, you’ll see why fewer apologies can actually make your words stronger.

Comments:

HEY! Sorry, but this is a direct attack on Canada. 🙂

Yes, in Germany, people actually mean what they say, most of the time.

Meanwhile in Germany „sorry“ is often used when we apologize just a tiny little bit for only very small actions which are not supposed to be really insulting to anybody. When we say „Entschuldigung“ it‘s often an expression with a really strong meaning which implies that I hurt someone by my action. But we also use it to adress at other people to get their attention, f.e. if we want to call the waitor in a restaurant, or if we want to pass through a croud of people. Even stronger is the sentence „verzeih mir“ which includes that I deeply hurt someone. All these expressions need self reflection and the realization that I did something wrong which I really regret. Therefore it‘s not easily used.

No Fake “How Are You?”

If you’ve ever said “How are you?” in Germany and got a blink, a nod—or a 10-minute life update—you’ve hit a culture switch. In German, “Wie geht’s?” isn’t small talk—it’s a real check-in. Today you’ll learn why Germans skip small talk, what they say instead (Moin, Na?, Alles klar?), and exactly when to use Wie geht’s? so you build trust, not awkwardness.

Comments:

Why would you ask a question if you don’t expect an answer?

I just ran this by my German girlfriend and she said “Oh my God, YES!” She said that the “How’s it going?” Or “You alright?” greeting in the UK was really difficult for her to begin with. It’s like “You’re gonna ask me that and then not wait for the answer?”

After my exchange year in the US, back in Germany, I stumbled over a report the organisation sent my parents. There was one phrase that stood out and went along the lines of “He speaks his mind and could improve on the tact.” My parents never mentioned it to me…

Political Correctness

Political correctness language (also known as PC) aims to avoid any form of descrimination or perceived discrimination against social, economic or political groups defined by race, gender, religion, ethnicity, age, disability or sexual orientation.

See gender-neutral terms such as firefighter in the place fireman and firewoman, police officer in place of policeman and policewoman; value-free terms describing physical disabilities, such as visually impaired in place of blind and hearing impaired in place of deaf; value-free cultural terms, such as Holiday season and Winter holiday, in place of Christmas.

Reasons for Small Talk

If you type into Google „reasons for small talk“ or „why small talk“ or „purpose of small talk“, it will respond with numerous links to people – experts and amateurs – who typically state anywhere between five and ten reasons.

Small talk: Signals the mood of the other person; finds topics of common ground; fills in a communication vacuum; establishes trust; is a possible introduction to big talk topics; identifies issues which might be too sensitive to address; can communicate interest, care, even affection; allows one to overcome their own shyness.

But what about introverts, those who prefer to discuss topics of substance?

English words used wrongly

Deutsche Welle – There are lots of English words the Germans use wrongly. A German “Public Viewing” is great fun. An English public viewing? Not so much. These are typical false friends.

Rachel Stewart takes a look at some English words that have taken on a whole new meaning in Germany. Rachel is on a mission to investigate the idiosyncrasies of daily life in Germany. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from beer to nudity to complicated grammar.

Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life.

small talk + big talk

More False Friends

Deutsche Welle – Languages borrow words from each other all the time. But if the meaning gets changed along the way, things can get pretty confusing. Meet the Germans presenter Rachel Stewart takes a look at some more English words that have been given a new meaning in Germany.

Rachel is on a mission to investigate the idiosyncrasies of daily life in Germany. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from beer to nudity to complicated grammar.

Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life. You’ll find more from Meet the Germans on YouTube or at dw.com/MeettheG

Germany and the Love of Privacy

This unwillingness to discuss private time with colleagues reveals both the German distaste for small talk, but also the German desire for privacy.

Germans have a clear and robust sense of what should be in the public domain and what should not, and although there are exceptions for good friends, finding out what your colleagues get up to outside of work requires military grade interrogation techniques.

With waterboarding out of the question, I am left with little recourse other than to linguistically trap colleagues into giving away small details of their lives. The excruciating process of trial and error can last for years, until one day a colleague feels comfortable enough to actually tell you directly what they get up to when not at work.