First work, then pleasure. In German negotiation logic, factual clarification comes first. Small talk and personal relationships play a secondary role. Only when the work is done can you move on to relationship building.
The Turbulent Times of Friedrich Merz
New York Times. December 15, 2026. By Jim Tankersley. Reporting from Munich, Berlin and the German chancellor’s aircraft.
“Mr. Merz’s approach is being severely tested. He has lost support at home since taking office in May. His courtship of Mr. Trump has mostly minimized damage to Europe on issues like trade and the war in Ukraine thus far.
But Mr. Merz remains the strongest leader standing among Europe’s major powers, especially now that President Emmanuel Macron of France and Prime Minister Keir Starmer of Britain are faltering domestically. He is emerging as Europe’s indispensable leader — or at least, acting like it.
When Mr. Trump’s negotiators stunned Europe by reaching a Moscow-friendly agreement with Russia to end the war in Ukraine, Mr. Merz was the first continental leader to get Mr. Trump on the phone and push back.
Mr. Merz still believes he can coax Mr. Trump to break decisively from Vladimir V. Putin, the Russian president.
‘I remain hopeful that we will permanently convince the United States and win them over to end this war together with us in Ukraine,” he told me. “That means we must support Ukraine until Russia can no longer continue this war economically. That is the only option we have.'”
Willing to argue
The dictionary defines streitbar as follows: [constantly] prepared, having the will to, argue, with someone over something, to critically and activelydispute something; to fight for or about something, to take a stand for something or someone, a fighter; [older] prepared for battle; warrior-like, brave.
The adjective streitbar has a very positive connotation in the German language. In recalling famous persons one often reads the sentence Er war streitbar – he was streitbar.
Politicians are ever more frequently characterized as being streitbar. Streitbar does not mean that one seeks out conflicts in a negative sense. Rather, it means to stand up for ones beliefs, and not avoid serious confrontations.
Why Germans Don’t Say ‘Sorry’ Every Five Minutes
In this video, I’ll explain why Germans don’t apologize for every little thing and how their version of “sorry” (or “Es tut mir leid”) carries real weight. You’ll learn how German communication culture treats apology as sincerity, not social reflex. By the end, you’ll see why fewer apologies can actually make your words stronger.
Comments:
HEY! Sorry, but this is a direct attack on Canada. 🙂
Yes, in Germany, people actually mean what they say, most of the time.
Meanwhile in Germany „sorry“ is often used when we apologize just a tiny little bit for only very small actions which are not supposed to be really insulting to anybody. When we say „Entschuldigung“ it‘s often an expression with a really strong meaning which implies that I hurt someone by my action. But we also use it to adress at other people to get their attention, f.e. if we want to call the waitor in a restaurant, or if we want to pass through a croud of people. Even stronger is the sentence „verzeih mir“ which includes that I deeply hurt someone. All these expressions need self reflection and the realization that I did something wrong which I really regret. Therefore it‘s not easily used.
Cocktail Party
Americans say: “There are three things you never address at a cocktail party: sex, politics, and religion.” All three are perceived as private or overly controversial for an occasion like a cocktail party, as a metaphor for information interactions.
Discussion of religion and politics could make some people feel that you are either in agreement with them or opposed, feelings which could provoke tense conversations. Discussing sports, weather and family are considered to be safe topics with which to begin a conversation.
No Fake “How Are You?”
If you’ve ever said “How are you?” in Germany and got a blink, a nod—or a 10-minute life update—you’ve hit a culture switch. In German, “Wie geht’s?” isn’t small talk—it’s a real check-in. Today you’ll learn why Germans skip small talk, what they say instead (Moin, Na?, Alles klar?), and exactly when to use Wie geht’s? so you build trust, not awkwardness.
Comments:
Why would you ask a question if you don’t expect an answer?
I just ran this by my German girlfriend and she said “Oh my God, YES!” She said that the “How’s it going?” Or “You alright?” greeting in the UK was really difficult for her to begin with. It’s like “You’re gonna ask me that and then not wait for the answer?”
After my exchange year in the US, back in Germany, I stumbled over a report the organisation sent my parents. There was one phrase that stood out and went along the lines of “He speaks his mind and could improve on the tact.” My parents never mentioned it to me…
Political Correctness
Political correctness language (also known as PC) aims to avoid any form of descrimination or perceived discrimination against social, economic or political groups defined by race, gender, religion, ethnicity, age, disability or sexual orientation.
See gender-neutral terms such as firefighter in the place fireman and firewoman, police officer in place of policeman and policewoman; value-free terms describing physical disabilities, such as visually impaired in place of blind and hearing impaired in place of deaf; value-free cultural terms, such as Holiday season and Winter holiday, in place of Christmas.
Reasons for Small Talk
If you type into Google „reasons for small talk“ or „why small talk“ or „purpose of small talk“, it will respond with numerous links to people – experts and amateurs – who typically state anywhere between five and ten reasons.
Small talk: Signals the mood of the other person; finds topics of common ground; fills in a communication vacuum; establishes trust; is a possible introduction to big talk topics; identifies issues which might be too sensitive to address; can communicate interest, care, even affection; allows one to overcome their own shyness.
But what about introverts, those who prefer to discuss topics of substance?
English words used wrongly
Deutsche Welle – There are lots of English words the Germans use wrongly. A German “Public Viewing” is great fun. An English public viewing? Not so much. These are typical false friends.
Rachel Stewart takes a look at some English words that have taken on a whole new meaning in Germany. Rachel is on a mission to investigate the idiosyncrasies of daily life in Germany. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from beer to nudity to complicated grammar.
Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life.