The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther Greenwood’s experiences in the workplace and as an intern are shaped by feedback from supervisors and colleagues. Praise boosts her confidence, while criticism is felt as a personal setback, illustrating the emotional impact of feedback and the intertwining of personal and professional spheres.
mentor-mentee
The Intern (2015). Ben (Robert De Niro), a senior intern, and Jules (Anne Hathaway), a young CEO, develop a close mentor-mentee relationship. Feedback is delivered with empathy and care, and both characters grow personally and professionally through their interactions. The film highlights how feedback is tailored to the individual and is meant to support both performance and personal well-being.
reflection of personal worth
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. The March sisters’ growth is closely tied to feedback from family, friends, and mentors. Jo, in particular, responds emotionally to feedback on her writing and work, viewing it as a reflection of her personal worth and aspirations.
deeply personal
9 to 5 (1980). Three women, frustrated by their sexist boss, band together to improve their toxic workplace. The feedback they receive – dismissal, condescension, and lack of recognition – is deeply personal and motivates them to take action. Their eventual success is celebrated as both professional and personal vindication.
“What would you do?“
With the recent popularity of YouTube and other amateur video websites, people have been staging scenarios and filming people’s reactions to them. This is particularly popular in the U.S., where, in addition to amateur reaction videos, in 2008 ABC created a television show called What Would You Do?
In the show, actors and actresses pretend to be in situations in which they would benefit from unsolicited advice (domestic abuse, drugged beverages, etc.), and the show collects statistics on how many people offer advice or warnings.
Typically, most Americans who witness these situations don’t get involved. In one episode, in which a caregiver in a park berates the elderly man for whom he’s supposed to be caring, and refuses to take the elderly man home when asked, only one-quarter of the people who witnessed the interaction intervened. Other episodes typically have similar statistics of intervention.
Joe McCarthy
McCarthy Hearings (1954). Senator Joseph McCarthy’s anti-communist investigations targeted the personal loyalties and reputations of government officials, military officers, and private citizens. Accusations of professional disloyalty were treated as attacks on personal character, often resulting in ruined careers and social ostracism—highlighting how, in American public life, professional and personal assessments are inseparable.
George Carlin
New York Times. May 11, 2022. One of America’s greatest stand-up comics. A satirist in the deepest sense. George Carlin. Always critical of his homeland. Its short-comings. Its deceits. For many a true patriotic American.
Euphemisms
Because Americans find it difficult separate what they say from the person they are saying it to – especially in the case of criticism – they strive to use softer, more indirect language, including euphemisms: mild or indirect words or expressions substituted for ones considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.
Examples of euphemisms: pre-owned car instead of a used car, sex worker instead of a prostitute, to be between jobs instead of to be unemployed, senior citizen instead of old person, underserved neighborhood or underserved population instead of the poor, or an impoverished, needy neighborhood.
Further examples: economically disadvantaged instead of poor; temporary negative cash flow instead of broke; enhanced interrogation methods instead of torture; collateral damage instead of civilian deaths.
About George Carlin.
Advice-givers advice
There are hundreds of American advice-givers on the web. Let’s read what they write about unsolicited advice:
“Your opinion is valuable, your advice even more precious. So, save it. Keep it for yourself. Odds are, you need it more than I do. So, please don’t give that sh*t away, certainly not without even being asked.”
“Have a nice day,” said the mom to her teenage daughter; to which the daughter replied, `Motherrrr, will you pulleeeeze stop telling me what to do!´ I empathize with both parties in this old joke. Sometimes we get so overrun by unsolicited advice that even the most innocuous, benevolent advice becomes intolerable.”
“Unsolicited Advice: We’ve all received it at some point in our lives and we’ve all given it as well. In some few cases, if we didn’t know enough about the circumstance to ask for advice then we are appreciative if someone tells us – but those moments are few and far between. The majority of the time we feel that the other person is trying to take our own power away. We feel as if they believe that we are not capable of taking care of ourselves and knowing what we need.”
“Four tips on how to give unsolicited advice: 1. Rephrase your advice as your own personal experience. 2. To repeat: Keep your stories short and relevant. Most people’s attention span is a lot shorter than your speaking ability! 3. If you must give direct advice disguise it as “How I did it” or “How someone else did it”. 4. Accept that the recipient will reject or act on your advice at their own will and allow them their self motivation.”