In 2006, the linguist J. César Félix-Brasdefer published a study in the Journal of Pragmatics on how male speakers of Mexican Spanish refuse. He examined the effect of formality on their refusals and the link between politeness and protecting face.
In a study published in 2008, he observed 18 male Mexican students refusing a request, an invitation and a suggestion from a peer. They refused mainly in indirect ways, and they softened what they said.
Mexican Spanish has several phrases for keeping someone content without delivering.
Dar atole con el dedo, “to give atole with the finger.” Atole is a warm corn drink. BBC Mundo, citing the Diccionario de mexicanismos of the Academia Mexicana de la Lengua, glosses the phrase as engañar, to deceive.
Dar el avión, “to give the airplane,” to brush someone off.
Dar largas, to keep putting off an answer.
Cantinflear is a Spanish verb made from the name of Cantinflas, the Mexican comic actor Mario Moreno. The dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy defines it as “hablar o actuar de forma disparatada e incongruente,” to speak or act in a nonsensical and incongruous way.
According to Excélsior, the Academy recognized the word in 1992. The newspaper quotes the definition with a further phrase, y sin decir nada, “and without saying anything.”
In the television comedy El Chavo del 8, Don Ramón never pays his rent. He owes Señor Barriga, the landlord, 14 months of rent. When the landlord comes, Don Ramón avoids him, sometimes by escaping through a window.
In March 2002, Mexico hosted a United Nations summit on financing for development in Monterrey. Before it, President Vicente Fox telephoned Fidel Castro. He invited the Cuban leader to lunch and asked him to leave after his speech, “para que no me compliques el viernes,” so that he would not complicate Friday for Fox. The call became known by the phrase comes y te vas, “you eat and you leave.”
In April 2002, Cuba broadcast the recording. The Mexican government answered that Fox “en ningún momento le pidió a su contraparte que no asistiera a la Cumbre de Monterrey,” at no time asked his counterpart not to attend the summit. In 2016, Fox called the arrangement “una propuesta mía,” a proposal of his own.
In 2019, BBC Mundo asked Mexican scholars why it is hard for Mexicans to say no. Alí Albarrán of the Faculty of Philosophy and Letters at UNAM said: “Decir que no a alguien que te está ofreciendo algo de buena voluntad es considerado una ofensa” (Saying no to someone who offers something in good will is considered an offense). The anthropologist Roger Bartra said that “it is not very polite to say no openly.”
The article describes the common solution: “para no decir no, dicen que sí, pero no ponen un plazo” (to avoid saying no, they say yes, but they set no date).
Quedar bien, “to come out well,” means to leave a good impression and keep things pleasant. Mexican Spanish has many phrases that serve it.
Sí, cómo no: “Yes, of course.”
Primero Dios: “God first,” meaning “God willing.”
Ahí lo vemos: “We will see about it.”
Ahí nos vemos: “See you there.”
Each can be a firm promise. Each can also be a kind way to leave a request open.