Disagreement Archives - Page 3 of 3

Off-line

Discretion: The quality of having or showing good judgment; ability to make responsible decisions; individual choice or judgment; power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds; the result of separating or distinguishing.

Off-line: Americans prefer to discuss sensitive matters „off-line“, meaning to do so privately, one-to-one, separate from the other team members. A capable team lead knows how to practice this kind of discretion while signaling to the other team members that the sensitive issues are being addressed and not „swept under the rug.“

humiliate: To reduce to a lower position in one’s own eyes or others’ eyes. From late Latin humiliate – ‘made humble,’ from the verb humiliare.

Cohesion: The act of forming a united whole. Mid 17th century from Latin cohaes – ‘cleaved together,’ from the verb cohaerere, on the pattern of adhesion.

During World War II, on August 3, 1943, General George Patton slapped a soldier who was hospitalized for psychoneurosis, accusing him of cowardice. The incident nearly ended Patton’s career. A week later, in a far less publicized incident, Patton slapped another soldier, who had been hospitalized for his “nerves.” Many members of Congress and the press called for Patton’s removal from command.

Bobby Knight, one of America‘s most innovative and successful college basketball coaches, was known for his straight-talking, open, honest and impatient, combative personality. After almost thirty years of extraordinary success at the University of Indiana, Knight was fired for very minor indiscretions involving players and students. Mr. Knight once said: “When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are past, I want them to bury me upside down, so that my critics can kiss my ass.”

Wayne “Woody” Hayes (1913-1987) was the football coach at Ohio State University for over twenty-five years, with a career record of 238 wins 72 losses and 10 ties, winning five national championships. Hayes challenged his players to be the best, often becoming impatient and angry, at times physically rough with them during practices. His career was ended after a 1978-game in which he physically attacked a player on the opposing team.

“Do not criticize me in front of the team”

American football. The professional league – NFL. Green Bay, Wisconsin. Cold. Very cold. The Green Bay Packers, the dominant football team of the 1960s. Their coach, Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest of all time. Their quarterback – play-maker, Spielmacher – Bart Starr.

Starr: quiet, serious, disciplined, selfless, talented, understated, fully focused on one goal only, winning. Winning championships. Starr to Lombardi: “Do not criticize me in front of the team, instead just the two of us. Otherwise I cannot lead the team.”

Listen to minutes 3:45 to 4:30

6th Amendment, again

The Sixth Amendment states: „In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right … to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, ….“

For Americans, whether in the legal system or in the workplace, the right to a hearing is fundamental. The hearing allows for the parties in conflict to make their arguments and counter-arguments. It is the beginning of the formal process of conflict resolution. Americans expect the team lead to call a hearing quickly.

In a fair hearing the conflict parties have the opportunity to present evidence – including witnesses – and to discover what evidence is brought against them. The hearing also allows for questioning (cross-examination) of the opposing party‘s witnesses. A hearing is only fair if it is administered by an impartial third party.

In the American business context the manager, as judge, may resolve the conflict based on those arguments and counter-arguments, or use the hearing as a basis for further investigation into the reasons for the conflict.

Because American managers are responsible for the results their teams produce, they focus on maintaining internal team cohesion. Conflict of any kind threatens cohesion. After having learned of an internal conflict, American managers are inclined to call the conflict parties together at very short notice. That first hearing is direct, informal and personal. The manager wants to „get to the bottom of the problem.“

Loose canons

Every culture has its definition of what effective leadership is. The ability to communicate criticism in a constructive and discreet manner is one of the most important skills required. Discretion, being a discreet person, handling sensitive issues discreetly, is essential not only to leading high performing teams, but for attracting and retaining high performing individuals.

Managers who are indiscreet, who voice their criticism of individual team members in the presence of others – colleagues, suppliers, customers – are considered to have poor interpersonal skills, to be negative, destructive, even mean spirited.

Americans refer to them as „loose cannons“ or as „time bombs.“ People do their best to avoid them. And talented team players do their best to find another, a better position within the company, or if necessary outside.

Indiscretion is a danger in the American business context. It is demotivating. It scares off talent.

Shake up Harmony

Wall Street Journal, February 2014. “The High Cost of Avoiding Conflict at Work.” Joann S. Lublin

David Dotlich, a leadership and succession coach, has identified eagerness to please as one of the top reasons that executives fail.

Keen to innovate faster, employers increasingly choose bosses astute at dealing with conflict rather than ducking it, says Judith Glaser, an executive coach and author of the new book, Conversational Intelligence.

It’s not that firms want contentious leaders, but those who retreat from confrontation tend to postpone hard decisions and allow problems to fester, according to Ms. Glaser.

And with more businesses relying on teamwork, top managers’ conflict-resolution skills are in greater demand, adds Theodore Dysart, a vice chairman of Heidrick & Struggles International Inc., a major executive-recruitment firm.

Southwest Airlines Co. leaders wanted to shake up what they viewed as a culture of artificial harmony among staffers. The company now promotes middle managers to executive positions partly based on their ability to spark conflict among staffers.

Disagree and commit

Number 25. From 37signals, the company behind the project management software called Basecamp. Classiv American thinking: think, debate, persuade … decide, then commit and support. One of the founders, Jason Fried, is a very interesting person.

Sandwich Method

The sandwich method is describes the American approach to giving negative feedback. Its goal is to communicate criticism in a way which will avoid demotivating the other person. Like a sandwich with a slice a bread on both the top and the bottom, praise is given at the beginning and the end of the feedback talk. In the middle is the substance of the conversation, the points of criticism. Open with praise. Communicate criticism. Close with praise.

Is there anything new about this? Research on the American approach to communicating criticism over the last fifty to one hundred years would probably show that it is not. American ears know to listen carefully after the positive has been said. They listen for the nuances, the terms used, especially the euphemisms. This makes it all the more complex and difficult to understand for non-Americans, regardless of strong their command of the English language.

„You did a fine job.“