British English has a set of polite phrases that carry criticism. The listener is expected to hear what is meant.
I hear what you say: I do not agree, and I do not want to discuss it further.
That’s an interesting idea: That is a bad idea.
Quite good: Disappointing.
Not quite what we were hoping for: This has failed.
Perhaps we could look at this again?: This must be redone.
At work, correction often begins with a phrase that sounds like a small request.
Can I have a quiet word?: I need to correct something, in private.
Just a gentle reminder: This is late, and I have noticed.
It might be worth a second look: This is wrong.
I’m not angry, just disappointed: This is a serious rebuke.
The Acas Code of Practice on Disciplinary and Grievance Procedures sets out how employers should handle discipline at work. Its foreword says that many potential disciplinary or grievance issues can be resolved informally. It adds: “A quiet word is often all that is required to resolve an issue.”
On 9 March 2021, Buckingham Palace issued a statement on behalf of the Queen after Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, had made allegations of racism in a television interview with Oprah Winfrey.
The statement said: “The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.”
In the House of Commons, members may not accuse one another of lying. A Speaker’s ruling of 1973, citing Erskine May, the guide to parliamentary procedure, listed “charges of deliberate falsehood” as unparliamentary. The ruling added: “Good temper and moderation are the characteristics of parliamentary language.”
The rule produced its own vocabulary. On 22 February 1906, Winston Churchill, then Under-Secretary for the Colonies, was asked whether the government condoned slavery of Chinese laborers in the Transvaal. He replied that the word slavery “in its full sense could not be applied without a risk of terminological inexactitude.” Terminological inexactitude is still used as a polite word for a lie.
Paddington Bear, created by Michael Bond, first appeared in A Bear Called Paddington, published in the United Kingdom on 13 October 1958. When people incur his disapproval, Paddington gives them one of his special “hard stares,” which his Aunt Lucy taught him.
The rebuke We are not amused is attributed to Queen Victoria, but the evidence is thin. The earliest known attribution is in Caroline Holland’s Notebooks of a Spinster Lady, published in 1919, which tells it as a story she did not witness.
In a 1976 interview, Victoria’s granddaughter Princess Alice, Countess of Athlone, reported that the Queen had denied ever saying it.
In the BBC comedy Yes Minister, the senior civil servant Sir Humphrey Appleby has a way to hinder a minister’s plan without opposing it. He calls the policy “courageous.” The word reminds the minister that “a controversial policy will lose votes, whilst a courageous one will lose the election.”
In P. G. Wodehouse’s stories, friction between the valet Jeeves and his employer, Bertie Wooster, usually begins with a new item Bertie is excited about, such as bright purple socks, a white mess jacket or a garish vase. Jeeves’s disapproval shows as a period of coolness between them.
Bertie calls Jeeves’s opposition “hidebound and reactionary.” Usually Jeeves finds a way to help Bertie with a problem, and Bertie agrees to give away the item Jeeves disapproves of.
An anonymous table called the Anglo-EU Translation Guide has circulated widely by email and online. It lists what the British say, what they mean, and what others understand. In one row, “With the greatest respect” means “I think you are an idiot,” and the listener understands “He is listening to me.”
The linguistics blog Language Log found that the table seems to come from the same source as a 2004 column in The Economist. That column credited the joke to the Dutch, trying to do business with the British.