Japan, Conflict, Early Defusing - understand-culture

Three Cups of Tea

A well-known story tells how Ishida Mitsunari entered the service of Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi stopped at a temple and asked for tea. A temple boy first served a cup almost full of lukewarm tea. Hideyoshi asked for more. The boy served less tea, a little hotter. The third time, he served a small amount of quite hot tea in a small cup. Hideyoshi was impressed by the boy’s attentiveness and asked the abbot for him.

The story is known as sanken no cha, the three offerings of tea. It first appears in Bushō kanjōki, published in 1716, and was later retold in Ehon Taikōki and Meishō genkōroku. It is most likely a later invention.

Inferring the Wishes of Others

Sontaku (忖度) means to infer what is in another person’s mind. In 2017, it shared the grand prize of the annual buzzword award, the Shingo Ryūkōgo Taishō, with insuta-bae, looking good on Instagram.

For the award, the word stood for the Moritomo and Kake Gakuen issues, in which officials were said to have anticipated the wishes of the prime minister’s office. Testifying in the Diet, the chairman of the Moritomo Gakuen school operator said: Sontaku shita no deshō. They probably showed sontaku. The prize was accepted by the president of a company that sold sontaku manjū, sweet buns.

Rikyū’s Seven Rules

Seven rules for the tea ceremony are traditionally attributed to the tea master Sen no Rikyū. They are known as Rikyū shichisoku. Make tea so that it is good to drink. Lay the charcoal so that the water boils. Arrange flowers as they grow in the field. Make it cool in summer and warm in winter. Be early. Have an umbrella ready even when it is not raining. Be mindful of the other guests.

A children’s tea ceremony leaflet from the town of Chikujō in Fukuoka explains each rule. The first teaches kikubari, attentiveness. The rule on summer and winter teaches omoiyari, consideration for others.

The Snow of Xianglu Peak

In Makura no sōshi (The Pillow Book), Sei Shōnagon recalls a day of deep snow at court. Empress Teishi asks: Shōnagon yo, Kōrohō no yuki ika naramu. Shōnagon, how is the snow of Xianglu Peak? Sei Shōnagon has the lattice raised and lifts the blind high. The Empress smiles.

The question quotes a line by the Chinese poet Bai Juyi: the snow of Xianglu Peak, I lift the blind to see. The other ladies admit that they knew the line and had even used it in poems, but it had not occurred to them. The Empress had not asked for the blind to be raised.

Advice on Consideration

In 1982, Kōdansha published Kikubari no susume (Advice on Consideration) by Suzuki Kenji, a former announcer of the public broadcaster NHK. Kikubari means attentiveness to others. The book became one of the great bestsellers in the history of Japanese publishing.

It also drew criticism, because it treated kikubari as a technique.

Not Causing Trouble for Others

The education company Benesse asked mothers what kind of person they hoped their child would become. In Japan, 71 percent answered hito ni meiwaku o kakenai hito, a person who does not cause trouble for others. Newsweek Japan reported the figure in 2019 but did not give the year of the survey.

A Benesse report of 2018 on the lives of young children describes the wish that a child should not cause trouble for others as a traditional value that parents still hold.

The Vocabulary of Friction

Kado ga tatsu (角が立つ): corners stand up. A way of saying something makes a relationship awkward.

Koto o aradateru (事を荒立てる): to roughen a matter. To make a situation worse and stir up trouble.

Reading the Air

Kūki o yomu (空気を読む): reading the air. The Daijisen dictionary defines it as inferring the situation from the atmosphere of a place, and especially judging what one should and should not do, and what others want and do not want.

In 2007, the abbreviation KY, for kūki yomenai, “cannot read the air,” was among the nominees for the year’s buzzword award, the Shingo Ryūkōgo Taishō.

Reading the Air as a Game

In 2008, the game company G-mode began releasing Kūki yomi (Reading the Air), a game that diagnoses how well the player reads the air. Later versions appeared for the Nintendo Switch and the PlayStation 4. G-mode says that more than ten million people have played the series.