Repairing Trust Archives - understand-culture

A Hand Across the Ocean

On February 21, 1972, Richard Nixon arrived in Beijing. A Chinese account gives Zhou Enlai’s words of welcome: “You have reached your hand across the widest ocean in the world to shake mine. We have had no contact for 25 years.”

In his memoirs, Nixon wrote that he knew Zhou had been “deeply insulted” when John Foster Dulles refused to shake his hand at the Geneva Conference in 1954. “When I reached the bottom step, therefore, I made a point of extending my hand as I walked toward him.”

The Geneva story itself is disputed. Zhou told it to Edgar Snow in 1960 and raised it with Henry Kissinger in 1971. As quoted by the writer John Tkacik, the Chinese diplomat Wang Bingnan wrote in a 1984 memoir that nothing of the sort ever happened.

Sayings on Broken Trust

Po jing chong yuan (破镜重圆) The broken mirror is made whole again. The Handian dictionary tells the story behind it. When war separated Xu Deyan of the Chen dynasty and his wife, Princess Lechang, each kept half of a mirror as a token, and through it they were reunited. The idiom means a couple reunited after separation, or two people reconciled after their feelings broke. Fu shui nan shou (覆水难收) Spilled water is hard to gather. Handian lists it as the opposite. What is done cannot be undone. Hao shi bu chu men, e shi chuan qian li (好事不出门，恶事传千里) Good deeds do not leave the door, bad deeds travel a thousand li. The saying appears in the Water Margin and in Journey to the West.

The End of Lü Bu

In early 199, Cao Cao captured the general Lü Bu at Xiapi. Lü Bu had served Ding Yuan and killed him, then served Dong Zhuo, who had sworn to be his father, and killed him too. Bound before Cao Cao, he offered to lead Cao Cao’s cavalry. Cao Cao considered keeping him. Liu Bei, who was present, asked whether Cao Cao had forgotten what happened to Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo. Lü Bu was strangled.

The historian Chen Shou judged him “fickle and cunning, looking only to profit.”

If Rich, Do Not Forget

As a young man, Chen She worked in the fields as a hired laborer. One day he stopped work on a ridge and said to his fellows: “If one of us becomes rich and noble, let us not forget each other.” (苟富贵，无相忘) One of them laughed. Later he rose against the Qin and became a king, ruling at Chen.

An old companion from the fields heard of it and came to the palace gate. Chen She took him in. The visitor talked freely about the king’s old life. Someone told the king: “This guest is foolish and ignorant and talks wildly. He lowers your dignity.” Chen She had him beheaded. “All the king’s old friends left of their own accord, and from then on no one was close to him.” (Records of the Grand Historian)

The Letter of the Two Sorries

On April 1, 2001, a US surveillance plane and a Chinese fighter collided near Hainan Island. The Chinese pilot Wang Wei was lost. The 24 American crew members were held in China. China asked for an apology. The United States answered: “We did not do anything wrong, and therefore it was not possible to apologize.”

On April 11, Ambassador Joseph Prueher handed a letter to Foreign Minister Tang Jiaxuan. It said the United States was “very sorry” for the pilot’s death and “very sorry” that the plane had entered Chinese airspace. The Chinese version used 深表歉意, a phrase of deep regret or apology. Chinese state media called it an apology. Washington called it “an expression of regret and sorrow.” The crew was released.

A senior US official said: “What the Chinese will choose to characterize as an apology, we would probably choose to characterize as an expression of regret or sorrow.”

Grandmother Jia Settles a Quarrel

In chapter 44 of Dream of the Red Chamber, a jealous quarrel between Wang Xifeng and her husband Jia Lian turns violent. Jia Lian runs in after her with a sword. Grandmother Jia, the head of the family, sends him out: “Call his father here!”

Then she settles the matter with a laugh. “What does it matter? Young people are like greedy cats. Who can stop that? Everyone goes through it when young. It is my fault. He drank a few cups too many, and she got jealous.”

She promises Xifeng that Jia Lian will come the next day to apologize. She also sends word to the maid Pinger, on whom both had taken out their anger, that Xifeng will apologize to her.

Reconciliation in Criminal Cases

China’s Criminal Procedure Law, in its 2012 and 2018 versions, has a special procedure for reconciliation between the parties. It covers offenses against the person or property that arise from civil disputes and may carry up to three years in prison, and most crimes of negligence that may carry up to seven years.

If the accused sincerely repents, compensates the victim, apologizes and gains the victim’s forgiveness (谅解), the two sides may reach a settlement. The police may then recommend leniency to the prosecutors, and the prosecutors to the court. Prosecutors may decide not to prosecute minor cases, and courts may reduce the punishment.

Carrying Thorns

负荆请罪, to carry thorns and ask for punishment, comes from Sima Qian’s Records of the Grand Historian. General Lian Po of Zhao was angry that Lin Xiangru, a man of humble birth, had been given a higher rank, although Lian Po had won great merit in battle. He announced that he would humiliate Lin if he met him. Lin avoided him for the sake of the state.

When Lian Po learned why, he was ashamed. He went to Lin carrying thorns and asked to be punished. The two became friends who would die for each other.

Haidilao’s Apology

In August 2017, a Beijing newspaper published a report on poor hygiene in the kitchens of two Beijing restaurants of the hotpot chain Haidilao. A reporter had worked there undercover. On August 25, Haidilao posted an apology letter on Weibo. “After investigation, the company believes that the problems disclosed in the media reports are true,” it said. They “exposed problems in our management.”

A second statement said the incidents came from deeper management problems and that the main responsibility lay with the board. Commentators summed up the response in three lines: “I carry the pot, I correct the mistake, I keep paying the staff.” The wording comes from commentators, not from the company’s statements.