Loyalty Ideal Archives - understand-culture

If Rich, Do Not Forget

As a young man, Chen She worked in the fields as a hired laborer. One day he stopped work on a ridge and said to his fellows: “If one of us becomes rich and noble, let us not forget each other.” (苟富贵，无相忘) One of them laughed. Later he rose against the Qin and became a king, ruling at Chen.

An old companion from the fields heard of it and came to the palace gate. Chen She took him in. The visitor talked freely about the king’s old life. Someone told the king: “This guest is foolish and ignorant and talks wildly. He lowers your dignity.” Chen She had him beheaded. “All the king’s old friends left of their own accord, and from then on no one was close to him.” (Records of the Grand Historian)

Friendship Like Water

In the Zhuangzi, Confucius asks why, in his years of trouble, his friends have drifted away and his disciples have scattered. He is told that those joined by profit abandon each other in hardship, while those joined by nature take each other in.

“The friendship of a gentleman is plain as water. The friendship of a petty man is sweet as sweet wine. The gentleman is plain and so stays close. The petty man is sweet and so breaks off.” (君子之交淡若水，小人之交甘若醴)

“Those who come together without a reason,” the passage says, “part without a reason.”

Repaid as a Man of the State

Yu Rang served the noble families of Fan and Zhonghang. When Zhi Bo destroyed them, Yu Rang went over to Zhi Bo. Later Zhi Bo was killed by Zhao Xiangzi, and Yu Rang tried again and again to kill Zhao Xiangzi. “A gentleman dies for the one who knows him,” he said. “A woman makes herself beautiful for the one who delights in her.” (士為知己者死，女為說己者容)

Zhao Xiangzi asked why he took such deep revenge for Zhi Bo, when he had done nothing for his first masters. Yu Rang answered: “The Fan and Zhonghang treated me as an ordinary man, so I repaid them as an ordinary man. Zhi Bo treated me as a man of the state, so I repay him as a man of the state.” (Records of the Grand Historian)

Sayings on Fair-Weather Ties

树倒猢狲散 When the tree falls, the monkeys scatter. When a powerful person falls, those who leaned on him leave. In Dream of the Red Chamber, Qin Keqing warns Wang Xifeng that the family might one day prove the saying true.

势利眼 Power and profit eyes. Deciding how close to be by the other person’s wealth and power.

有奶便是娘 Whoever has milk is mother. Siding with whoever offers an advantage.

过河拆桥 To cross the river and pull down the bridge. To drop those who helped once the goal is reached.

前倨后恭 Arrogant before, respectful after. From the story of Su Qin, whose sister-in-law treated him with contempt while he was poor and bowed to him once he was powerful.

Guan Yu, God of Wealth

Guan Yu, the general of the Three Kingdoms known for his loyalty, is worshipped as a wu caishen, a martial god of wealth. “Merchants chose Guan Gong as their god of wealth because they value his loyal and righteous image,” China News Service wrote in 2011. The Paper put it this way: “Merchants revere Guan Gong’s loyal and trustworthy heart, and most of them worship him.”

A business daily explained the choice: “For merchants, for whom mutual trust is the most important standard, yi should be placed at the center of their values.”

Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya

Guan Zhong said of his friend Bao Shuya: “When I was poor, I traded with Bao Shuya and took the larger share of the profit. He did not think me greedy. He knew I was poor.” Guan Zhong failed in a plan for him, served three times and was dismissed three times, and fled from three battles. Each time Bao Shuya found a reason that was not a fault.

When Guan Zhong’s master lost the struggle for the throne of Qi, Guan Zhong was taken prisoner. Bao Shuya recommended him to the new ruler, Duke Huan, who put him in charge of the government. “My parents gave me life,” said Guan Zhong. “Bao Shuya is the one who knows me.”

The One Who Knows the Tune

Bo Ya was a master of the zither, and his friend Zhong Ziqi understood his playing. When Bo Ya played with high mountains in mind, Zhong Ziqi said: “Splendid! Towering like Mount Tai!” The story is told in the Liezi.

The Annals of Lü Buwei tell how it ended. When Zhong Ziqi died, Bo Ya “broke his zither, cut its strings, and never played again for the rest of his life.”

The word for a close friend, 知音, comes from the story. It means “one who knows the tune.”

The Tea Goes Cold

人走茶凉 When the guest leaves, the tea goes cold. When an official leaves a high post, people turn cold toward him, because he can no longer grant them favors.

In August 2015, a People’s Daily commentary called the saying a vivid image of how warm and cold human relations can turn. It told retired officials to accept the cold tea and not interfere in the work of their successors.

The saying is about ties that rested on the post and not on the person.

The Peach Garden Oath

In the first chapter of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei burn incense in a peach garden and swear an oath. “Though we are of different surnames, now that we are brothers we will join hearts and strength. We do not ask to be born in the same year, month and day. We only wish to die in the same year, month and day.”

The oath ends: “If one betrays righteousness and forgets kindness, may Heaven and men together destroy him.” The official history of the period records that Liu Bei shared a bed with the two men and that their bond was “like that of brothers.” The words of the oath come from the novel.

Guan Yu Lets Cao Cao Go

In chapter 50 of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the defeated Cao Cao flees by the Huarong road and finds Guan Yu waiting for him. Guan Yu has signed a military pledge to stop him. Cao Cao asks him to “give weight to the feelings of former days.”

Guan Yu answers that he once received Cao Cao’s great kindness, “but I have already repaid it” by killing two enemy generals and lifting a siege. Cao Cao asks whether he still remembers the five passes, where Guan Yu killed Cao Cao’s generals as he left him years before. Guan Yu turns his horse and orders his men to spread out, which plainly means letting Cao Cao go.

Back at camp, Zhuge Liang says: “Guan Yu thought of Cao Cao’s old kindness and let him go on purpose. But there is a military pledge.”