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The Letter of the Two Sorries

On April 1, 2001, a US surveillance plane and a Chinese fighter collided near Hainan Island. The Chinese pilot Wang Wei was lost. The 24 American crew members were held in China. China asked for an apology. The United States answered: “We did not do anything wrong, and therefore it was not possible to apologize.”

On April 11, Ambassador Joseph Prueher handed a letter to Foreign Minister Tang Jiaxuan. It said the United States was “very sorry” for the pilot’s death and “very sorry” that the plane had entered Chinese airspace. The Chinese version used 深表歉意, a phrase of deep regret or apology. Chinese state media called it an apology. Washington called it “an expression of regret and sorrow.” The crew was released.

A senior US official said: “What the Chinese will choose to characterize as an apology, we would probably choose to characterize as an expression of regret or sorrow.”

Sayings on Face

人活脸，树活皮 A person lives by face, a tree lives by its bark. A person must guard his good name. Also 人要脸，树要皮.

打人休打脸，骂人休揭短 When hitting someone, do not hit the face. When scolding someone, do not expose his faults.

揭短 To expose a person’s shortcomings and make them public.

得饶人处且饶人 Where one can spare a person, spare him. To be tolerant and leave room. The line is from the Song writer Yao Kuan.

留余地 To leave room. Not to go to extremes in speech or action, so that there is space to turn back.

Yanzi at the Small Gate

When Yanzi of Qi went as an envoy to Chu, the people of Chu made a small door for him beside the great gate, because he was short. Yanzi would not enter. “Those sent to a country of dogs go in by the dogs’ gate. I have been sent to Chu, so I should not go in by this gate.” He was led in through the main gate.

On another visit, the King of Chu planned to humiliate him. During a banquet, officers brought in a bound man and said he was from Qi and had stolen. The king asked Yanzi: “Do the people of Qi steal by nature?”

Yanzi answered that an orange grown south of the Huai River is an orange, but grown north of it becomes a bitter orange. People of Qi do not steal at home. “Could it be that the soil and water of Chu make people good at stealing?” The king laughed: “A sage is not a man to joke with. I have brought the shame on myself.”

Courts That Mediate First

On June 7, 2010, the Supreme People’s Court issued an opinion on the working principle 调解优先、调判结合, “mediation first, combining mediation and judgment.”

China’s Civil Code sets the same order for divorce. Article 1079 says: “When a people’s court hears a divorce case, it shall carry out mediation.” If the marriage has truly broken down and mediation fails, the court shall grant the divorce.

Grandmother Jia Settles a Quarrel

In chapter 44 of Dream of the Red Chamber, a jealous quarrel between Wang Xifeng and her husband Jia Lian turns violent. Jia Lian runs in after her with a sword. Grandmother Jia, the head of the family, sends him out: “Call his father here!”

Then she settles the matter with a laugh. “What does it matter? Young people are like greedy cats. Who can stop that? Everyone goes through it when young. It is my fault. He drank a few cups too many, and she got jealous.”

She promises Xifeng that Jia Lian will come the next day to apologize. She also sends word to the maid Pinger, on whom both had taken out their anger, that Xifeng will apologize to her.

Words Beyond Substance

Ma Su was highly gifted and loved to discuss military plans, and Zhuge Liang thought very highly of him. On his deathbed, Liu Bei warned Zhuge Liang: “Ma Su’s words exceed his substance. He cannot be given great tasks. Watch him.” Zhuge Liang did not agree and often talked with Ma Su from morning until night.

In 228, many urged that veteran generals such as Wei Yan lead the vanguard. Zhuge Liang gave it to Ma Su instead. At Jieting, the Wei general Zhang He routed him. Ma Su died in prison, and Zhuge Liang wept for him. (Records of the Three Kingdoms)

The phrase yan guo qi shi, words beyond substance, comes from Liu Bei’s warning. Dictionaries define its original sense as boastful words that exceed real ability.

Listen to the Words, Watch the Deeds

When his disciple Zai Yu slept during the day, Confucius said: “At first, with people, I listened to their words and trusted their deeds. Now, with people, I listen to their words and watch their deeds. It was Zai Yu who made me change.” (Analects 5.10)

He also said: “The gentleman wishes to be slow in speech and quick in action.” (Analects 4.24)

Two Sponsors

Under Article 5 of the Constitution of the Communist Party of China, anyone who applies to join must fill in an application and have two full Party members as sponsors, jieshaoren.

The sponsors must learn about the applicant’s thinking, character, history and work. They explain the Party’s program and constitution to the applicant and make a responsible report to the Party organization.

Reconciliation in Criminal Cases

China’s Criminal Procedure Law, in its 2012 and 2018 versions, has a special procedure for reconciliation between the parties. It covers offenses against the person or property that arise from civil disputes and may carry up to three years in prison, and most crimes of negligence that may carry up to seven years.

If the accused sincerely repents, compensates the victim, apologizes and gains the victim’s forgiveness (谅解), the two sides may reach a settlement. The police may then recommend leniency to the prosecutors, and the prosecutors to the court. Prosecutors may decide not to prosecute minor cases, and courts may reduce the punishment.

The Vocabulary of Reliability

靠谱 Reliable. Said of what is sensible and makes sense. A dictionary example: “This person does things reliably.”

放鸽子 To release the pigeons. To break an appointment and lose someone’s trust.

凡事有交代，件件有着落，事事有回音 Every matter accounted for, every item settled, every message answered. A business article says that some people define being reliable by these three things, and that the three are really one: closing the loop.