On July 20, 2023, Xi Jinping received Henry Kissinger in Beijing. “You have visited China more than a hundred times,” he said.
After Kissinger’s death in November 2023, the Foreign Ministry called him “an old friend and good friend of the Chinese people, a pioneer and builder of China-US relations.” People’s Daily quoted the same formula. The Foreign Ministry added: “The Chinese people value feeling and loyalty. We will not forget old friends.”
一回生，二回熟 Strangers the first time, acquaintances the second. The Handian dictionary explains: at the first meeting people feel like strangers, at the next meeting they know each other. Its example comes from Zhou Libo’s novel The Hurricane: “We were strangers the first time, and now we know each other. Be sure to drop in.”
多个朋友多条路 One more friend, one more road.
In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Zhou Yu has the general Huang Gai beaten so that Cao Cao will believe Huang Gai’s false offer to defect. The trick is called kurouji, the ruse of the suffering body.
A common saying comes from the story: Zhou Yu da Huang Gai, yi ge yuan da, yi ge yuan ai. “Zhou Yu beats Huang Gai. One is willing to beat, and one is willing to be beaten.”
In Chinese diplomatic reports, a meeting at which the two sides “had a frank exchange” (进行了坦率交流) is understood to mean that they disagreed seriously.
In a 2022 article on diplomatic language, the scholar Wang Yizhou explains this reading. He also lists other phrases that take the place of plain words in diplomacy: “concern,” “serious concern,” “deep unease,” “great regret,” “strong dissatisfaction” and “severe condemnation.”
The Chinese dictionary Handian gives two meanings for 送客, to see a guest out. The first is to see a visitor off. The second is that “the host signals that the guest should leave.”
Its example comes from chapter 49 of the novel A Brief History of Enlightenment (文明小史): “When he had finished speaking, he raised his teacup, and someone beside him called out: ‘See the guest out!'”
In 2005, the National Palace Museum in Taipei held an exhibition. The cover of its guidebook showed a reply by the Kangxi Emperor in red ink, in Manchu and Chinese. It had three characters: 知道了, “noted.”
A company later added 朕, the word an emperor used for “I,” and printed the phrase on masking tape: 朕知道了, “We have noted it.” The tape went on sale in July 2013. By December 2014, more than 200,000 rolls had been sold, according to People’s Daily. An early buyer wrote that it was for use when the boss’s tasks were annoying.
On April 1, 2001, a US surveillance plane and a Chinese fighter collided near Hainan Island. The Chinese pilot Wang Wei was lost. The 24 American crew members were held in China. China asked for an apology. The United States answered: “We did not do anything wrong, and therefore it was not possible to apologize.”
On April 11, Ambassador Joseph Prueher handed a letter to Foreign Minister Tang Jiaxuan. It said the United States was “very sorry” for the pilot’s death and “very sorry” that the plane had entered Chinese airspace. The Chinese version used 深表歉意, a phrase of deep regret or apology. Chinese state media called it an apology. Washington called it “an expression of regret and sorrow.” The crew was released.
A senior US official said: “What the Chinese will choose to characterize as an apology, we would probably choose to characterize as an expression of regret or sorrow.”
Chapter 7 of The Art of War lists rules for the use of troops. Among them: “Do not block an army that is going home. When surrounding an army, leave it a gap. Do not press an enemy at bay.” In the original: 归师勿遏，围师必阙，穷寇勿迫.
人活脸，树活皮 A person lives by face, a tree lives by its bark. A person must guard his good name. Also 人要脸，树要皮.
打人休打脸，骂人休揭短 When hitting someone, do not hit the face. When scolding someone, do not expose his faults.
揭短 To expose a person’s shortcomings and make them public.
得饶人处且饶人 Where one can spare a person, spare him. To be tolerant and leave room. The line is from the Song writer Yao Kuan.
留余地 To leave room. Not to go to extremes in speech or action, so that there is space to turn back.
When Yanzi of Qi went as an envoy to Chu, the people of Chu made a small door for him beside the great gate, because he was short. Yanzi would not enter. “Those sent to a country of dogs go in by the dogs’ gate. I have been sent to Chu, so I should not go in by this gate.” He was led in through the main gate.
On another visit, the King of Chu planned to humiliate him. During a banquet, officers brought in a bound man and said he was from Qi and had stolen. The king asked Yanzi: “Do the people of Qi steal by nature?”
Yanzi answered that an orange grown south of the Huai River is an orange, but grown north of it becomes a bitter orange. People of Qi do not steal at home. “Could it be that the soil and water of Chu make people good at stealing?” The king laughed: “A sage is not a man to joke with. I have brought the shame on myself.”