Negotiation Archives - Page 7 of 9

Old Uncle

In the Wu dialects of Shanghai and the area around it, 娘舅, uncle, usually means a respected older man who speaks fairly. A 老娘舅, an old uncle, is the person people call in to settle a quarrel.

In January 2008, a Shanghai television channel launched New Old Uncle (新老娘舅), a mediation show. In each episode, people in conflict sit down with a people’s mediator, who tries to settle their dispute. Similar programs followed in nearby places, among them Qiantang Old Uncle in Zhejiang from 2009 and Wuxi Old Uncle from 2011. Jiangxi Television’s Gold Medal Mediation (金牌调解) began in 2011.

Shooting the Halberd

In chapter 16 of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Yuan Shu sends his general Ji Ling to attack Liu Bei at Xiaopei. Lü Bu invites both men to his camp. “I have invited your two houses to settle your quarrel, not to make you fight.”

He has his halberd planted at the camp gate, 150 paces away. If his arrow hits the small blade of the halberd, both sides will withdraw. If it misses, they may go back and fight. Whoever does not accept, he will fight himself.

The arrow hits. Lü Bu laughs, takes Ji Ling and Liu Bei by the hand and says: “Heaven orders your two houses to stop fighting!” Then he has wine poured for everyone.

Talks in Beijing

From March 6 to 10, 2023, delegations from Saudi Arabia and Iran held talks in Beijing. On March 10, China, Saudi Arabia and Iran issued a joint statement there. The two countries agreed to restore diplomatic relations and to reopen their embassies within two months at most. The statement opens by saying that the talks were a response to an initiative of Xi Jinping.

Ping-Pong Diplomacy

In April 1971, at the world table tennis championships in Nagoya, China invited the US team to visit. From April 10 to 17, nine American players and four officials were in China. They were the first American athletes admitted to the People’s Republic since 1949. Mao Zedong explained the move: “For 22 years we could never come to terms… so we played ping-pong.”

The episode is known in Chinese as 小球转大球, the small ball turns the big ball.

Struggle Without Breaking

Chinese writing on relations with the United States uses the phrase 斗而不破, struggle without breaking. In 2018 the scholar Zhang Yunling wrote: “Between China and the US, struggle when there must be struggle, and talk when there must be talk. Struggle without breaking is still the bottom line.”

He explained the two words. “To struggle is to compete. To break is to go to war.”

Seek Common Ground

On April 19, 1955, at the Asian-African Conference in Bandung, Zhou Enlai said: “Our conference should seek common ground while reserving differences.” The Chinese delegation, he said, had come “to seek common ground, not to create differences.”

The four-character form 求同存异, seek common ground while reserving differences, is a standard Chinese idiom today.

The Meeting at Mianchi

The Records of the Grand Historian describe a meeting at Mianchi between the kings of Qin and Zhao. Over wine, the King of Qin said: “I have heard that the King of Zhao loves music. Please play the zither.” The King of Zhao played. The Qin historian stepped forward and wrote: “On such a day, the King of Qin met the King of Zhao to drink and ordered the King of Zhao to play the zither.”

The Zhao minister Lin Xiangru knelt before the King of Qin with a clay pot and asked him to strike it. When the king refused, Lin said: “Within five paces, I can spatter Your Majesty with the blood of my neck.” The king struck the pot once. Lin had the Zhao historian write: “On such a day, the King of Qin struck the pot for the King of Zhao.”

Granting Face

赏脸 To grant face. A polite formula used when asking someone to accept a request or a gift. It appears in Dream of the Red Chamber.

撕破脸 To tear the face. To break with someone openly, with no regard for feelings.

死要面子活受罪 To insist on face to the death and suffer while alive. To go through great hardship for the sake of appearances.

Harmony Is Most Precious

礼之用，和为贵: “In the practice of the rites, harmony is most precious.” The line is in the first book of the Analects. It is often quoted as Confucius, but the speaker is his disciple Youzi.

The passage continues with a limit: “To know harmony and seek harmony, without regulating it by the rites, will not work either.”

Trust Without Contracts

In Rural China (乡土中国), the sociologist Fei Xiaotong describes rural society as a society of people who know one another. There, he writes, “trust does not rest on respect for contracts.” It comes from “the reliability of knowing the rules of conduct so well that one acts without thinking.”

Acquaintances, he notes, say: “We are all acquaintances. A greeting is enough, why say more?” In modern society people fear that “the spoken word is no proof,” so “they make a mark and sign their names. Only then does law begin.”