Favor Debt Archives - understand-culture

The Vocabulary of Owing

欠情 To owe feeling. To have received a kindness and not yet repaid it. In The Plum in the Golden Vase, a man greets another: “I have owed you feeling for a long time and have not come to see you, brother.”

领情 To receive feeling. To accept a gift or a kindness and feel grateful for it.

回礼 To return a courtesy. To answer a gift or a greeting with one of one’s own.

雪中送炭 To send charcoal in the snow. To help someone in urgent need. A Ming story sets it against 锦上添花, adding flowers to brocade: “There is only adding flowers to brocade. Where is there sending charcoal in the snow?”

Su Qin Repays His Debts

When Su Qin set out for Yan as a poor man, he borrowed a hundred coins. Years later he was chief minister of six states. The Records of the Grand Historian says that he repaid the lender with a hundred gold and “repaid everyone who had ever shown him kindness.”

One follower received nothing and came forward to ask. Su Qin said: “I have not forgotten you. When you came with me to Yan, you wanted to leave me again and again by the Yi River. At that time I was in trouble, so I resented you deeply. That is why I put you last. Now you will receive yours too.”

Gifts and Renqing in Xiajia

The anthropologist Yan Yunxiang did fieldwork in Xiajia, a village in Heilongjiang. As The Paper summarizes his finding, a gift “creates a spiritual bond between the giver and the receiver, which the villagers call renqing (人情).”

An Old Student Repays Three Times

In the Ming story An Old Student Repays a Favor Over Three Generations (老门生三世报恩), the examiner Kuai prefers young candidates. Three times, without meaning to, he passes the same old man, Xianyu Tong. Xianyu passes the provincial examination at fifty-seven and the metropolitan examination at sixty-one.

Xianyu later clears Kuai’s son of a false charge. “This only repays a little of my teacher’s kindness,” he says. “I still owe much feeling.” He then keeps Kuai’s grandson at his official residence to study and gives him three hundred taels. Kuai thinks: “Plant thorns and get thorns. Plant peach and plum trees and get shade.”

Courtesy Values Reciprocity

礼尚往来 Propriety values going and coming. The line comes from the Book of Rites: “The highest value is virtue. Next comes giving and repaying. Propriety values going and coming. To give and receive nothing back is against propriety. To receive and give nothing back is also against propriety.”

Today the phrase is used for gifts and favors, and also for answering a person in kind.

The Washerwoman’s Meal

As a poor young man, Han Xin fished below the city wall of Huaiyin. A washerwoman saw that he was hungry and fed him for the several dozen days of her washing. He told her that he would repay her richly. She was angry. “A grown man who cannot feed himself! I fed you out of pity. Do you think I expected a reward?”

Years later, Han Xin became King of Chu. He summoned the washerwoman and gave her a thousand gold. Han Xin had once eaten for months at the house of a local official, until the official’s wife stopped serving him. To this man he gave a hundred coins. “You are a small man. Your kindness did not last to the end.” (Sima Qian, Records of the Grand Historian)

Guan Yu Lets Cao Cao Go

In chapter 50 of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the defeated Cao Cao flees by the Huarong road and finds Guan Yu waiting for him. Guan Yu has signed a military pledge to stop him. Cao Cao asks him to “give weight to the feelings of former days.”

Guan Yu answers that he once received Cao Cao’s great kindness, “but I have already repaid it” by killing two enemy generals and lifting a siege. Cao Cao asks whether he still remembers the five passes, where Guan Yu killed Cao Cao’s generals as he left him years before. Guan Yu turns his horse and orders his men to spread out, which plainly means letting Cao Cao go.

Back at camp, Zhuge Liang says: “Guan Yu thought of Cao Cao’s old kindness and let him go on purpose. But there is a military pledge.”

Withdrawing Three Marches

In exile, the Jin prince Chong’er came to Chu, and the King of Chu gave a feast for him. The king asked how he would repay him. Chong’er answered that if he ever returned to rule Jin and their armies met on the central plain, “I will withdraw three marches before you.” (Zuo Zhuan)

In 632 BCE, now Duke Wen of Jin, he faced the Chu army and withdrew three marches, about ninety li. His adviser Zi Fan explained: “Without Chu’s kindness we would not be here. We withdraw three marches to avoid them, and that is our repayment.” Then the armies met at Chengpu. The story gave Chinese the idiom 退避三舍, to withdraw three marches.

Selling a Favor

人情 Human feeling. Also a favor, or a gift. 做个人情, to do someone a favor.

卖人情 To sell a favor. To do someone a good turn on purpose, so that they feel grateful. A dictionary gives the example: “If you sell him a favor today, he will surely repay you in the future.”

人情世故 Human feeling and the ways of the world. The knowledge of how to deal with people.

Gift Money

At a Chinese wedding, guests give gift money, a custom called 随份子. A commentary published in Chinese media in September 2026 described its logic. Gift money “has taken on a kind of contractual character.” A guest gives now so as to receive “an equal return gift from the other side” at their own wedding in the future. “From this angle, it is even like an interest-free loan.”

The same piece reported that the city of Shangluo in Shaanxi had issued reference limits on gift money: no more than 100 yuan in the countryside and 200 yuan in the city.