In a study by the consultancy Rochus Mummert, published in 2016, 1,000 employees in Germany were asked about their direct superior. Only 37 percent described their boss as fachlich für den Job geeignet, professionally suited to the job.
If You Have No Idea
Wenn man keine Ahnung hat, einfach mal die Fresse halten. If you have no idea, just shut your trap. The sentence is crude, and it is often quoted. It is attributed to the comedian Dieter Nuhr. He tried to register it as a trademark, but this failed at the Higher Regional Court of Stuttgart in January 2023. A similar line had already been spoken in 1974, in the WDR sitcom Ein Herz und eine Seele: Wenn man keine Ahnung hat, dann hält man bescheiden die Schnauze. If you have no idea, you modestly keep your mouth shut.
A Stunt for the Circus
In 1929 Werner Forßmann, a young assistant surgeon in Eberswalde, pushed a catheter into his own heart. His chief had forbidden the experiment. Soon afterward the surgeon Ferdinand Sauerbruch dismissed him from the Charité in Berlin. Forßmann later remembered Sauerbruch’s words: Mit solchen Kunststücken habilitiert man sich in einem Zirkus und nicht an einer anständigen deutschen Klinik. With such stunts you qualify as a professor in a circus, not at a decent German clinic. Forßmann’s accounts of these events varied over the years. In 1956 he shared the Nobel Prize in Medicine for heart catheterization.
The Orchestra Chooses Its Conductor
The Berlin Philharmonic was founded in 1882 by 54 musicians who wanted to govern and manage the orchestra themselves. The players elect their chief conductor. On 11 May 2015 they met to choose a successor to Simon Rattle. The meeting lasted eleven hours. After long discussions and several rounds of voting, there was no result. On 22 June 2015 it was announced that the orchestra had elected Kirill Petrenko.
The Captain Who Graded His Coaches
In August 2011 Philipp Lahm, captain of the German national team, published a book, Der feine Unterschied (The Fine Difference). In it he judged Jürgen Klinsmann’s season as coach of Bayern Munich. Under Klinsmann, he wrote, the team did essentially only fitness training, with very little tactical discussion. The players had to meet before games to discuss how they wanted to play at all. After about eight weeks, all the players knew it would not work. National coach Joachim Löw objected that a player was publicly judging coaches who had long been successful. The German Football Association reprimanded Lahm.
Stromberg
The comedy series Stromberg ran on ProSieben from 2004 to 2012. Bernd Stromberg heads the claims department M to Z at the fictional Capitol insurance company. German Wikipedia sums up the character: Seine fachliche Kompetenz ist mangelhaft. His professional competence is poor. As a result, he mostly ignores the work instructions he is given, does them badly or passes them on to his staff. In December 2011, one million euros was raised from the public through crowdfunding to make a Stromberg film.
Words for Two Kinds of Authority
In German workplaces, one employee can have two superiors.
der disziplinarische Vorgesetzte — the line manager, responsible for pay, leave and appraisals
der fachliche Vorgesetzte — the professional superior, who checks and judges the content of the work
die Sachautorität — authority that comes from knowing the subject
die Amtsautorität — authority that comes from the position
die Koryphäe — a leading authority in a field
Ahnung haben — to know what one is talking about
Words for Unwelcome Correction
der Besserwisser — someone who always believes he knows better
der Klugscheißer — vulgar: someone who thinks himself very clever and believes his remarks are very clever
oberlehrerhaft — know-it-all and lecturing, like an old-style senior schoolmaster
The dictionary DWDS marks all three as disparaging. A correction that serves the work is welcome. These words are for a correction that mainly serves the person who makes it.
Demigods in White
Halbgott in Weiß, demigod in white, is a German term for a doctor. The dictionary DWDS labels it joking, exaggerated and sometimes ironic. One of the best-known chief physicians on German television is Professor Dr. Klaus Brinkmann, of in the ZDF series Die Schwarzwaldklinik (The Black Forest Clinic). The series was first broadcast from 1985 to 1989. Up to 28 million viewers watched it each week.
Called Master, Even Doctor
The first scene of Goethe’s Faust is set at night, with a scholar alone in his study. Habe nun, ach! Philosophie, / Juristerei und Medizin, / Und leider auch Theologie … He has studied philosophy, law, medicine and, unfortunately, theology too. Yet he says: Und bin so klug als wie zuvor. And I am no wiser than before. Heiße Magister, heiße Doktor gar. I am called Master, even Doctor. He sees that we can know nothing. He is cleverer, he says, than all the fools, Doktoren, Magister, Schreiber und Pfaffen, doctors, masters, clerks and priests.