Communication Archives - Page 3 of 8

Too rude

Leon Lederman, the author of the book The God Particle (Higgs Boson) originally wanted to call it The Goddamn Particle because the particle was proving very difficult to find, but his publishers thought that this sounded too rude.

Higgs Boson is a particle which is largely responsible for the mass of subatomic particles. It took almost five decades after the particle was first postulated to find it, largely because of the high energy needed to produce it and how quickly it decays into smaller particles.

Friend. Freund.

What is a friend?

MerriamWebster online writes: a person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something; one attached to another by affection or esteem; a favored companion.

Middle English frend, from Old English frēond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frēon to love, frēo free. First Known Use: before 12th century. Among its synonyms are alter ego, amgo, buddy, chum, compadre. comrade, confidant, crony, familiar, intimate, pal.

What is a Freund?

dwds(dot)de writes: Vertrauter, someone you can trust; jemandem innerlich verbundener Mensch, a person who is especially close to another. Old High German (8th Century) vriunt, friend, next closest, mate, relative.

This is not the place to address how Americans and Germans diverge in the understanding of friend, friendship, what it means to be a friend. But here is a thought:

Is it not the true friend who has your best interests in mind, and therefore is willing to risk the loss of your friendship in order to convey a message which is painfully important for you to hear?

Formulated differently: What true friend, who sees that you are on the wrong path, would not speak to you about it?

Oliver F.

A German. Consultant. Expertise in several areas. Primarily in change management. This guy is very experienced and very good. The following statement is on the landing page of his website:

“My great strength is putting my finger in the wound. And I consider it to be the right, effective, honest, professional thing to do. To say what I think. I enjoy pointing it out to people when the king is wearing no clothes, especially when his clothes are being praised by the people.

I do this with folks both at the top and the bottom in organizations. From C-Suite, to middle management, to colleagues in sales, all the way down to folks working on the factory line. In each case I do so in the language they speak and understand, and making sure that directness and truth take center stage.”

sachlich

Germans strive to be sachlich or objective, business-like, factual, to the point, matter of fact. To be sachlich means to focus on the matter while leaving emotions out. A sachlich report, critique, comment, argument, judgement. Sachlich also means to leave out superfluous or gratuitous language. To be sachlich is to get to the point.

“May God help me“

Martin Luther (1483-1546) – German, Catholic priest, Augustinian monk, professor of Theology – was the foremost driving force behind the Protestant Reformation, challenging fundamental teachings of the Church.

In April 1521 Luther was under intense pressure to recant his theological teachings before the Reichstag in Worms, an assembly of Germany’s worldly and religious leaders. Although there is no historical evidence of this, Luther is said to have responded with:

“I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. May God help me. Amen.”

Sensitive topics

Topics which in one culture would be considered sensitive (controversial) may not be considered so in another culture. This is the case with the German and the American cultures.

In discussions with Germans – friendly, respectful, but well-informed, interested, and critical-minded – it is not uncommon for them to raise the following topics with their American counterpart:

The wars in Afghanistan and Irak, U.S. drone strikes in the Middle East and Pakistan, the base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, the Abu Ghuraib scandal, CIA-sponsored torture, the murder rate in the U.S., gun owneship and NRA influence, the increasing gap between rich and poor, the NSA spying scandal, the ominous power of Google, Apple, FaceBook and American-dominated social media.

Frank und frei

Honest

Honesty. Honorableness. Straightforwardness. Truthfulness. Candor. Directness. Fairness. Honesty is often confused with impoliteness.

In Faust II (1832) written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Germany‘s greatest writer, Baccalaureus is criticized for being rude, rough, abrasive. He responds with: “Those who are polite in German are lying“.

Literal: In the truest sense of the word; without interpretation. “He literally took apart the automobile, piece by piece.“

Euphemism

A euphemism is a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing: pre-owned car instead of a used car; sex worker instead of a prostitute; in between jobs instead of unemployed; senior citizen instead of old person; underserved neighborhood instead of impoverished neighborhood.

frank und frei

Literally frank and free, as in “Let me speak frankly and freely with you”. The term ‘frank’ is an age-old German word for free. The Franks were a Germanic tribe which successfully withstood the influence of tribes migrating from the Nordic countries into what is today’s northern Germany. Frank as a male first name was derived from Franko: a member of the Franks, meaning courageous, free.

Controversial !

Germans seek out lively discussions. And lively are those involving clear differences of opinion. And the more complex and relevant the topic, all the more interesting the conversation.

Except for topics which are plainly too personal and sensitive, Germans are willing to address almost any controversial topic. They enjoy the intellectual give and take. Controversial discussions are a form of mental chess.

At a deeper level Germans want to demonstrate that they are well informed, are proud of their high level of education, want to show a broad world view, that they are anything but provincial. Most importantly, Germans want people to know that they think independently, critically, do not simply agree with the masses.

Discussion. Disagreement. Argument.

“Relating to or causing much discussion, disagreement, or argument.“ So defines MerriamWebster the term controversy. „Abortion is a highly controversial subject.“ Or „a decision that remains controversial.“ Or „He is a controversial author.“

First known use is 1583. Synonyms: argumentative, contentious, disputatious, hot-button, polemical. Antonyms: noncontroversial, safe, uncontroversial.

Safe.

Bit which topics are safe, which unsafe, in the American context? Which will not lead to an argument, which will? How can a person not native to the U.S. know the answers to these questions?

Safe topics?

Personal nice. Professional better.

In small talk situations Americans seldom jump directly into the business subject matter. For Americans business is always to certain degree a personal matter. In fact, Americans prefer to work with people they like, and who like them.

Germans, on the other hand, can and will do business with you even if you have little or no personal relationship. Most importantly, they want to know if you are good at what you do. Personal is nice. Professional is better.