Germany Archives - Page 19 of 62

More books about Small Talk

Amazon Germany lists 196 books with ‘small talk’ in their title. The best sellers are Small Talk für Dummies, Small Talk – Nie Wieder Sprachlos (Never Again Speechless) and Small Talk – Die Besten Themen (The Best Topics).

The typical table of contents reads: What is small talk? What purpose does small talk serve? In what situations do you use small talk? When can small talk be dangerous or uncalled for? When do you need small talk? What topics are appropriate in small talk? Which topics are dangerous in small talk? Small talk and body language. How to react to small talk? How to deal with small talk in difficult situations?

Nearly two hundred books. What does this tell us about small talk in Germany?

schwätzen

Schwätzen means to gab or chat about topics of low relevance and in a thoughtless manner which has no value. The Germans speak of dummes Geschwätz – dumm is stupid, dumb, idiotic, asinine, foolish.

Geschwätz from the verb schwätzen – when people in public spaces blab out loud, when students gab during classes, or colleagues do the same during meetings. A Schwätzer is not shunned, but disliked, and not respected. A Schwätzer talks too much and does too little.

“Klappe halten“

Germans believe that if a person does not have anything valuable to offer in a given discussion then it is better that they say nothing at all – die Klappe halten.

Klappe is a cover, lid, flap. Halten is to hold or keep shut. Germans do not consider it to be impolite if in a discussion one or more people say little or nothing. Seldom do they ask, prompt or summon those who are silent to participate.

To talk about the weather in the German context means to talk about nothing of importance, to have a meaningless conversation, to be superficial. It is a signal to both parties that they have nothing to say to each other. It‘s embarrassing for both.

Too obtrusive

In 2011 Spiegel Online published an article on how to write a job application for the American labor market. The beginning of the article points out differences between Germany and the US.

“Asking additional questions is not considered bothersome and the marital status should not be in your resume. If you apply at an American company it is easy to trip over cultural differences. Here is an overview over the most important concepts.”

After turning in your application, the article suggests: ”You should not expect that he or she will get back to you on his/her own.”

Conversely, asking additional questions is interpreted as annoying in Germany. The potential employer will get back to you on their own if they are interested. Asking further questions is considered to be obtrusive in Germany.

Verkaufsscheu

Verkaufsscheu. Sales shy.

Companies with a monopoly are the only ones who don’t need sales and marketing. All others need to fight for new customers on a daily basis. In Germany, too. But Germans don’t feel comfortable knocking on doors, even less so following up on an initial contact if the first response was skeptical.

Follow-up means making that second or third call, writing that second or third email, reaching out again. What’s the problem? Germans don’t like pushing their product or service, especially if they sense that the other party may not be interested. Often Germans are too polite, too slow, not aggressive enough.

Perhaps this is related to Germans identifying themselves strongly with their work. They want to stand fully and totally behind what they do. Sales also involves uncertainty, unpredictability, and situations for which one cannot fully prepare. The interactions can be short, spontaneous, shallow. Germans prefer predictability and depth.

Mistrust, a Virus

Follow up in Germany is a sign of mistrust, of doubt in one’s reliability, in that person’s ability to deliver what they have promised. For Germans typically only commit if they are close to absolutely certain that they can execute.

Germans are very sensitive about mistrust, and do not deal with it well. A fictitious example: Small team. The members have their individual tasks, but need to collaborate at certain points. They work well together. The team lead can pay less and less attention to them. A new team member, though, begins to take advantage of the lead’s hands-off management style by looking for personal advantage.

The other team members become a bit unsettled. A few others also begin to think only of themselves. Mistrust creeps into the team, the points of contact become strained, collaboration more difficult. Their boss sees the signs and reacts by scheduling team meetings more frequently, checking on each team member’s work. Then come the emails and phone calls going into more detail.

The increased follow up strains relations. Several of the team members begin to look for alternative jobs within the company. A top performer is gone within a month. Others have sent out their resumés. Follow up can lead to mistrust, a virus with potentially deadly results.

When follow-up is ok

Despite German reluctance to use follow-up, there are situations in which it is unavoidable: In order to stick to a well-defined plan; when the customer requests information; if work results are not delivered on time. The Germans prefer the term nachfassen – literally, after hold. Or nachhaken – literally, after-hook or -check.

Follow-up in Germany can be either negative or positive. Negative in the sense of control. Positive in the sense of support. Follow up – negative – questions one’s ability and willingness to produce good work results. At the same time – positive – it is essential to checking technical details, getting necessary information, verifying due dates.

Organizations which are time-driven rely on follow up. News organizations are just one example. Any and all forms of logistics is another. Timing is critical. Schedules need to be met. Employees are under pressure. Deadlines are deadlines.

Follow-up can be supportive. An older, more experienced colleague can inquire in a friendly way about the status of another’s work. A team lead who coaches her team well knows when and how to follow up by simply asking “How are things going? Can I help in any way?”

Follow-up by colleagues on a report, speech, or published article is positive. It means that they have taken sincere interest in your work. It also gives them an opportunity to demonstrate their competence by asking intelligent questions.

In German team meetings follow-up is the rule, not the exception. Open action items can be addressed directly. Team members establish a common baseline of information.

Finally, there is another very legitimate reason to use follow-up in Germany: If things are not going right, if an error has been detected, if the work is being performed improperly. In such cases there is only one course of action. Follow up, and fast!

“They pay their bills“

The German newspaper, Die Welt, complimented the Chinese highly when it wrote that they pay for their Mercedes Benz automobiles on-time. Zahlungsmoral literally means payment morals.

Zuverlässigkeit is not only a human, but also a product characteristic. Germans expect dependability and durability, especially in technical areas. German power producers constantly stress the Zuverlässigkeit of their nuclear power plants.

Infrastructure in Germany is expected to have 100% Zuverlässigkeit. Brown- or blackouts of the electricity grids occur very rarely. The telephone network almost never fails. Lack of reliability in Germany quickly leads to protests by customers and citizens.

Tausend gute Taten machen keine schlechte gut. A thousand good deeds don‘t make up for one bad one. Wenn ich mich auf Dich verlasse, bin ich verlassen. To be dependent on you means to have been abandoned.

Unzuverlässigkeit is the opposite of Zuverlässigkeit. In the German context, to be labeled unreliable or undependable is a serious criticism, a flaw not easily removed. Unreliable people are not trusted, their reputation is damaged. It is the same for unreliable products.

If commitments are not met it is imperative to prove that external factors were the cause. Unzuverlässigkeit – unreliability – costs time and money and increases risk, which Germans do their best to keep at a minimum.

A German reporting from a state in the former Soviet Union: “The same problems keep repeating themselves. Aspects of important agreements are changed suddenly, which is not a problem as long as everyone is informed quickly. In team meetings we agree to a schedule, which shortly thereafter is not held to due to delays in the delivery of material, which had been ordered two weeks late. When we then contact other sources we find out that they are out of stock. Our work processes get written down, but within a month or two no one knows where they are or what they mean.”

Germans have great difficulty dealing with lack of reliability. Even with their own high standards do they have their problems. Compared to other countries, public transportation in Germany is very reliable. But not dependable enough for the Germans. The same goes for weather forecasts, an imprecise science. Not reliable.

“Good things need their time”

The German expression Gut Ding will Weile haben – good things need their time – states that things which are supposed to turn out good will need some time. This becomes clear especially when important decisions are to be addressed:

“Quality before speed: Merkel pulls the brakes at the introduction of new supervision of European banks.” (Handelsblatt 17.2.2015)

“The German Handball Federation President Bauer: “Quality comes before speed.“ (Lahner Zeitung 20.6.2014)

“NPD-Ban: Quality before speed.” (Hamburger Abendblatt 9.12.2011)

Yes Signals

Germans focus on so-called Knackpunkte – literally snap or break points – those areas, which if they fail, all fails. The German yes is often given conditionally or with a warning: “We can do that, assuming that ….”, or “That would be possible, but only if ….”, or “At the moment we cannot give you a 100% guarantee, because ….”. By stating there is inherent risk involved, Germans are sharing the risk with the other party to the agreement.