Inner Circle Archives - understand-culture

Words for One’s Own People

家丑不可外扬 Family shame must not be spread outside. The private failings of a family are not to be made known to outsiders. The Handian dictionary cites an earlier form, 家丑不外扬, from the Song dynasty Compendium of Five Lamps (五灯会元).

一家人不说两家话 One family does not speak the words of two families. Among one’s own people, there is no need for polite formulas.

体己话 Intimate words. The private talk between people who are close. The Handian dictionary takes its example from Dream of the Red Chamber.

知根知底 To know the root and the bottom. To know someone well. The dictionary’s example reads: “We are old friends. We know each other through and through.”

Xiang Bo Rides by Night

Before the banquet at Hongmen, Xiang Yu planned to attack his rival Liu Bang. Xiang Bo, Xiang Yu’s uncle, “had long been on good terms” with Zhang Liang, who was serving Liu Bang. Xiang Bo “rode by night to Liu Bang’s camp, privately saw Zhang Liang and told him everything.” He urged his friend to come away with him and not die along with Liu Bang. (Records of the Grand Historian)

Zhang Liang took the news to Liu Bang. When Liu Bang asked how he knew Xiang Bo, Zhang Liang explained: “In the Qin days he was my companion. Xiang Bo killed a man, and I saved his life.”

Jiang Gan’s Visit

In chapter 45 of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Jiang Gan tells Cao Cao: “Since childhood I have been Zhou Yu’s schoolmate and close friend.” He offers to talk Zhou Yu into surrendering.

Zhou Yu welcomes him, drinks with him late into the night and shares his bed. Jiang Gan finds papers on the desk, among them a letter from Cao Cao’s admirals, Cai Mao and Zhang Yun, and reads it in secret. Back in camp, he hands it to Cao Cao, who has both admirals beheaded. Then Cao Cao realizes: “I have fallen for a trick.”

An older account, quoted in a commentary to the Records of the Three Kingdoms, tells it differently. There, Jiang Gan says that he and Zhou Yu come from the same region. After a meal, Zhou Yu sends him to his lodgings: “I have a secret matter just now.” Three days later, Zhou Yu shows him the camp and its stores. Jiang Gan only laughs and in the end says nothing.

Lady Wang and Xiren

In chapter 34 of Dream of the Red Chamber, Baoyu has just been beaten by his father. As his maid Xiren is about to leave, his mother, Lady Wang, calls her back. “Seeing that no one else was in the room,” she asks what Xiren knows. “If you have heard something, tell me. I will not make a fuss and let people know it was you who said it.”

Xiren says that Baoyu does need his father’s discipline, and she shares what worries her about him. She has worried day and night, she says, “but I did not feel I could tell anyone. Only the lamp knew.” Lady Wang answers: “My child, so you have such a heart, and you have thought it through so fully!” She ends: “Since you have said this today, I will entrust him to you.”

Entering the Room

In the Analects, Confucius says of his disciple Zilu: “You has ascended to the hall, but he has not yet entered the inner room.” (由也升堂矣，未入于室也) The idiom 登堂入室, to ascend the hall and enter the room, describes reaching a high level. The Handian dictionary adds that it can also mean receiving a master’s teaching in depth.

An 入室弟子, a disciple of the inner room, is one who has received the master’s true teaching. The dictionary’s example comes from the Book of Jin, about the scholar Yang Ke: “Even students who received his instruction could not speak with him in person unless they were disciples of the inner room.”

Knowledge for the Ingroup

In 2000, the researchers Chow, Deng and Ho published a survey of 142 managers on how openly knowledge is shared inside organizations. They reported in the Journal of Management Accounting Research that managers in China “shared knowledge significantly less with a potential recipient who was not a member of their ingroup.”

Three Kinds of Knowledge

In his essay Far-Reaching Concerns (远虑), the Song writer Su Xun divided the ways of the sage ruler into three. The constant principles may be known by all the people. Expedient measures are not for the people, but the ministers may know them. Secret plans are not for the ministers either. Only the “ministers of heart and belly” (腹心之臣) may know them.

The sage, Su Xun wrote, honors such a minister “like a father and teacher” and loves him “like a brother.” They hold hands, enter the bedchamber, and share daily life, sleep and meals. Between them, “nothing known goes unsaid, and nothing said is held back” (知无不言，言无不尽). Only then can they discuss the secret plans of the realm.

Under the Eaves

When word came that Cao Cao was moving east, Sun Quan discussed it with his officers. All of them urged him to welcome Cao Cao. Lu Su alone said nothing. When Sun Quan rose to change his clothes, Lu Su followed him out under the eaves. Sun Quan took his hand and asked: “What do you want to say?”

Lu Su told him that the others’ advice would ruin him. Lu Su himself could submit to Cao Cao and still keep an official post. Sun Quan could not. “Settle the great plan early, and do not use the advice of the many.” (Records of the Three Kingdoms)

Their first conversation had gone the same way. After the other guests left, Sun Quan called Lu Su back alone. They sat on the same couch, drank, and “discussed in secret.”

The Vocabulary of Closeness

见外 To see as outside. To treat someone not as a close person but with the politeness shown to a stranger. A dictionary example reads: 我一向把心腹待你，你不要见外. “I have always treated you as a confidant. Do not treat me as an outsider.”

交心 To exchange hearts. To say what is on one’s mind without holding anything back.

心里话 Words from inside the heart. One’s innermost thoughts and feelings.