After Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao at Guandu, he took Yuan Shao’s papers. Among them he found letters that men in the capital and in his own army had written to Yuan Shao. He burned them all.
The Records of the Three Kingdoms records this. A commentary quotes Cao Cao’s reason: “When Yuan Shao was strong, even I could not be sure of keeping myself safe. How much less could the others?”
On April 1, 2001, a US surveillance plane and a Chinese fighter collided near Hainan Island. The Chinese pilot Wang Wei was lost. The 24 American crew members were held in China. China asked for an apology. The United States answered: “We did not do anything wrong, and therefore it was not possible to apologize.”
On April 11, Ambassador Joseph Prueher handed a letter to Foreign Minister Tang Jiaxuan. It said the United States was “very sorry” for the pilot’s death and “very sorry” that the plane had entered Chinese airspace. The Chinese version used 深表歉意, a phrase of deep regret or apology. Chinese state media called it an apology. Washington called it “an expression of regret and sorrow.” The crew was released.
A senior US official said: “What the Chinese will choose to characterize as an apology, we would probably choose to characterize as an expression of regret or sorrow.”
Chapter 7 of The Art of War lists rules for the use of troops. Among them: “Do not block an army that is going home. When surrounding an army, leave it a gap. Do not press an enemy at bay.” In the original: 归师勿遏，围师必阙，穷寇勿迫.
人活脸，树活皮 A person lives by face, a tree lives by its bark. A person must guard his good name. Also 人要脸，树要皮.
打人休打脸，骂人休揭短 When hitting someone, do not hit the face. When scolding someone, do not expose his faults.
揭短 To expose a person’s shortcomings and make them public.
得饶人处且饶人 Where one can spare a person, spare him. To be tolerant and leave room. The line is from the Song writer Yao Kuan.
留余地 To leave room. Not to go to extremes in speech or action, so that there is space to turn back.
One day in 632, the Tang emperor Taizong came back from court in a rage. “Sooner or later I must kill that country bumpkin.” The empress asked whom he meant. “Wei Zheng. He always humiliates me in front of the court.”
The empress withdrew, put on her full court robes and stood in the courtyard. The emperor was startled and asked why. She said: “I have heard that when the ruler is wise, his ministers are upright. Wei Zheng is upright because Your Majesty is wise. How could I not offer my congratulations?” The emperor was pleased. The story is in the Comprehensive Mirror for Aid in Government.
When Yanzi of Qi went as an envoy to Chu, the people of Chu made a small door for him beside the great gate, because he was short. Yanzi would not enter. “Those sent to a country of dogs go in by the dogs’ gate. I have been sent to Chu, so I should not go in by this gate.” He was led in through the main gate.
On another visit, the King of Chu planned to humiliate him. During a banquet, officers brought in a bound man and said he was from Qi and had stolen. The king asked Yanzi: “Do the people of Qi steal by nature?”
Yanzi answered that an orange grown south of the Huai River is an orange, but grown north of it becomes a bitter orange. People of Qi do not steal at home. “Could it be that the soil and water of Chu make people good at stealing?” The king laughed: “A sage is not a man to joke with. I have brought the shame on myself.”
Article 179 of China’s Civil Code lists eleven ways of bearing civil liability. Beside stopping the harm, paying damages and returning property, it names two more: 消除影响、恢复名誉, removing the effects and restoring the person’s reputation, and 赔礼道歉, a formal apology. The Code was adopted on May 28, 2020, and took effect on January 1, 2021.
From March 1943, Ma Xiwu headed the Longdong branch of the high court of the Shaan-Gan-Ning Border Region. He went to the villages, investigated on the spot and held hearings there. Mediation, and combining mediation with judgment, was an important principle of his method. In a marriage case from Huachi County in 1943, Feng Peng’er stopped him on the road and made her complaint under a tree.
The case became a story. In 1944 the artist Gu Yuan published a woodcut, Comrade Ma Xiwu Mediates a Lawsuit. A 1945 play based on the case later became the opera Liu Qiao’er, filmed in 1956.
On June 7, 2010, the Supreme People’s Court issued an opinion on the working principle 调解优先、调判结合, “mediation first, combining mediation and judgment.”
China’s Civil Code sets the same order for divorce. Article 1079 says: “When a people’s court hears a divorce case, it shall carry out mediation.” If the marriage has truly broken down and mediation fails, the court shall grant the divorce.
China’s Labor Dispute Mediation and Arbitration Law took effect on May 1, 2008. It says that labor disputes are to be resolved by “emphasizing mediation.” A worker may negotiate with the employer, or “ask the trade union or a third party” to join the talks.
A company may set up a labor dispute mediation committee of worker and management representatives. Its chair is a union member “or a person chosen by both sides.” Mediators must be “fair and upright” and “close to the people.”