One of the twelve questions in Gallup’s well-known employee engagement survey is “I have a best friend at work.” In the United States, “just two in 10 employees report having a best friend at work.”
In 1999 Gallup called the item “clearly one of the most controversial of the 12 traits.” Employees “get stuck on the word ‘best,'” because they feel it implies exclusivity. When Gallup tried softer wording, the question no longer distinguished the best teams, so it kept the word.
In 1973 the sociologist Mark Granovetter published “The Strength of Weak Ties.” He had asked professional, technical and managerial workers near Boston how they found their jobs. Of those who found a job through a personal contact, 16.7 percent saw that contact often. Most saw the contact only occasionally or rarely.
“It is remarkable that people receive crucial information from individuals whose very existence they have forgotten.”
Dale Carnegie published it in 1936. It has sold tens of millions of copies and has never been out of print. Its argument is that business outcomes follow from how people feel about you, and its instructions are about attention, names, listening and genuine interest. An American business classic is a book about liking.
In his post on Forbes online – Six Reasons Small Talk Is Very Important and How To Get Better At It – Brett Nelson writes:
„Whether getting a job, working with colleagues, winning new clients, entertaining existing ones, all of it requires small talk. You better have the gift of gab.“
He then quotes from How To Get A Job On Wall Street, written by Scott Hoover, Associate Professor of Finance at Washington and Lee University: “In trying to generate business, the deal pitch is obviously critical. What is not so obvious is that simple, seemingly innocuous conversation with potential clients can be just as important. Companies want to hire people who can think on their feet.”
MerriamWebster defines gab as: to talk a lot in an informal way usually about things that are not important or serious; to talk in a rapid or thoughtless manner. First know use 1786. Synonyms: babble, blab, cackle, chatter, chat, jabber, rattle, run on, schmooze, talk, twitter.
Observations of a young German woman in Cincinnati, Ohio in the U.S.
This comment gets it right: “My experience with small talk is that it starts light and superficial, but the longer it goes on, the more personal it gets. It’s as if both are sending out feelers to find out how deep (or long) the conversation is going to be and to make sure both can end it (or back off) at any time without things getting awkward.
The answer to ‘how are you’ (‘hey, what’s up?’ actually) is always expected to be short, but can be open ended to lead the other person to probe deeper if they wish, such as, ‘okay I guess, I got some stuff going on.’ The other person can back off and say, ‘yeah, I hear ya’ and change the subject if they don’t want to go deeper, or respond with, ‘really? what’s going on?’ if they want you to open up more. Like a verbal tennis match where each hit gets harder to see how intense the game will be. I’m not sure I phrased it right, but I think you catch my meaning.”