Mexico, Relationships, Earned Trust

Abuse of Trust

Mexico’s Federal Penal Code has a crime called abuso de confianza, abuse of trust. Article 382 punishes whoever, to someone’s harm, disposes of another person’s movable property “de la que se le haya transmitido la tenencia y no el dominio” (of which he was given possession, but not ownership).

The penalty depends on the amount. It starts at up to one year in prison. It reaches six to twelve years when the amount is more than 2,000 times the salario, the wage that the article uses as its unit of measure.

Sayings of Caution

Al amigo y al caballo, no apretarlo ni apurarlo. “Do not press or rush a friend or a horse.” Herón Pérez Martínez of El Colegio de Michoacán records the saying in a 2005 study of the horse and the woman in the Mexican refranero, the body of popular sayings.

Les das la mano y te toman el pie. “You give them your hand, and they take your foot.” In June 2022, a columnist in El Siglo de Torreón used the saying for people who “abusan de tu bondad o gentileza” (abuse your kindness or courtesy).

Usted for the In-Laws

In January 2025, a guide in Mexico News Daily described how Mexicans address their suegros, their parents-in-law. “Generally people don’t use ‘tú’ with their in-laws unless they’ve specifically been invited.” The author adds: “Even when a warm and close relationship develops, it’s not uncommon to hear them speak with the ‘usted’ form to their suegros forever.”

How Confianza Works

In an article in the Revista Mexicana de Sociología, the researcher Larissa Lomnitz described confianza as a relation between two individuals. It “presupone un cierto grado de familiaridad” (presupposes a certain degree of familiarity), she wrote. An increase in confianza in turn promotes exchange.

She describes how compadrazgo, the bond between a child’s parents and godparents, and friendship link the members of networks of reciprocity.

Speaking as Tú

A 2026 article in the Anuario de Letras of the UNAM compares the Mexican forms of address tú and usted. It describes tú as the “tratamiento de la cercanía, la solidaridad y la confianza” (form of address of closeness, solidarity and trust). It describes usted as the form of deference, distance and respect. In one interview in the study, the two speakers settle the question at the start and agree to address each other as tú.

Who Inspires Trust

INEGI carried out its survey ENCIG 2023 from late October to mid-December 2023. “87.4 % dijo que sus familiares eran quienes mayor confianza le inspiraban” (87.4 percent said that their relatives were the ones who inspired the most trust in them).

The statistics institute of Jalisco published the results for that state by degree of trust. Mucha confianza, a lot of trust, went to family from 50.2 percent of respondents, to coworkers from 33.6 percent and to neighbors from 21.4 percent.

Masks

In El laberinto de la soledad, Octavio Paz describes a guarded face: “El mexicano se me aparece como un ser que se encierra y se preserva: máscara el rostro, máscara la sonrisa” (The Mexican appears to me as a being who shuts himself in and protects himself: the face a mask, the smile a mask).

Paz finds the same defense in popular speech. “El ideal de la ‘hombría’ consiste en no ‘rajarse’ nunca. Los que se ‘abren’ son cobardes” (The ideal of manliness consists in never “cracking open.” Those who “open up” are cowards). He explains rajarse as “permitir que el mundo exterior penetre en su intimidad” (to let the outside world into one’s intimacy).

The Vocabulary of Trust

Confianza means trust. It also means familiarity between people.

De confianza, a person one can rely on, or a close and intimate one.

En confianza, in private, between people who trust each other.

Agarrar confianza, to grow at ease with someone over time.

Pásale, con confianza, “come in, make yourself at home,” said to a guest.

Tomarse confianzas, to take liberties, to act with more familiarity than the relationship allows.