In 1930 Kurt Tucholsky, writing as Peter Panter, published Ratschläge für einen schlechten Redner, advice for a bad speaker, in the Vossische Zeitung. It begins: Fang nie mit dem Anfang an -, sondern drei Meilen vor dem Anfang! Never start at the beginning, but three miles before it. It advises the bad speaker to read his speech from the page. Sprich nie unter anderthalb Stunden, sonst lohnt es gar nicht erst anzufangen. Never speak for less than an hour and a half, or it is not worth starting at all. A short final part gives advice for a good speaker: Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze. Main clauses, main clauses, main clauses. Klare Disposition im Kopf – möglichst wenig auf dem Papier. A clear outline in your head, as little as possible on paper.
If You Have No Idea
Wenn man keine Ahnung hat, einfach mal die Fresse halten. If you have no idea, just shut your trap. The sentence is crude, and it is often quoted. It is attributed to the comedian Dieter Nuhr. He tried to register it as a trademark, but this failed at the Higher Regional Court of Stuttgart in January 2023. A similar line had already been spoken in 1974, in the WDR sitcom Ein Herz und eine Seele: Wenn man keine Ahnung hat, dann hält man bescheiden die Schnauze. If you have no idea, you modestly keep your mouth shut.
Words for saying it plainly
Klartext reden — to speak plain text. Klartext is also a message that is not encrypted, so that anyone can read it.
Tacheles reden — to talk tachles, a word that came into German from Yiddish. Duden defines it as saying your opinion openly, without false consideration.
Butter bei die Fische! — butter with the fish! It is a regional call to stop holding back and settle the matter now.
Ross und Reiter nennen — to name the horse and the rider. You say openly whom and what you mean.
Um den heißen Brei herumreden — to talk around the hot porridge. It is a complaint about someone who does not dare to raise the real point.
Das geht gar nicht — that does not work at all. It is the everyday verdict on something that is plainly unacceptable.
Spying among friends
In October 2013, reports said that the American intelligence service NSA had spied on Chancellor Angela Merkel’s mobile phone. On 24 October, arriving at an EU summit in Brussels, she gave her comment about the United States: Ausspähen unter Freunden – das geht gar nicht. Spying among friends is simply not acceptable.
The jolt speech
On 26 April 1997, Federal President Roman Herzog spoke at the Hotel Adlon in Berlin. He listed the country’s problems without softening them: der Verlust wirtschaftlicher Dynamik, die Erstarrung der Gesellschaft, eine unglaubliche mentale Depression. The loss of economic dynamism, a rigid society, an incredible mental depression. He said that discouragement prevailed, and he gave the number of unemployed as 4.3 million. Then he said what had to happen: Durch Deutschland muss ein Ruck gehen. A jolt must go through Germany. The speech has been known ever since as the Ruck-Rede, the jolt speech.
The soldiers’ commissioner
Any German soldier may write directly to the Wehrbeauftragte, the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Armed Forces, without going through the chain of command. The office was created in 1956 under Article 45b of the Basic Law. Every year the commissioner writes a full report for the Bundestag. In March 2024, Eva Högl presented the report for 2023. She said that the armed forces were shrinking and aging, and that recruitment was not satisfactory. Many barracks, she said, were in a state she called erbärmlich, miserable.
Where the jury crossed the line
The RTL talent show Deutschland sucht den Superstar first aired on 9 November 2002, with the producer and composer Dieter Bohlen on the jury. In February 2008, the Commission for the Protection of Minors in the Media demanded a fine of 100,000 euros from RTL over daytime repeats of the show, which it judged harmful to children. It cited the degrading nature of the jury procedure and the editing of the casting sessions, which made a laughing stock of the candidates in front of millions of viewers. Erich Jooß, head of the council of the Bavarian media regulator, spoke of inszenierte Infamie, staged infamy.
The restaurant tester
From 2005 to 2013, and again in 2017, RTL broadcast Rach, der Restauranttester. In each episode the chef Christian Rach tested a restaurant that was in trouble. Then he confronted the owners with his analysis, which was usually worded drastically.
Let Your Yes Be Yes
In the Luther Bible, Matthew 5:37 reads: Eure Rede aber sei: Ja, ja; nein, nein. Was darüber ist, das ist vom Bösen. (Let your speech be yes, yes, and no, no. Anything beyond this comes from evil.) The verse asks for no oath and no extra assurance.
Not Scolded Is Praise Enough
Nicht geschimpft ist gelobt genug — not scolded is praise enough. A magazine for mayors places the saying in Hesse, where it is often said in strong dialect. It uses the saying to describe how many bosses treat their staff.
Nix gsagt isch globt gnuag — nothing said is praise enough. The Swabian version. The Schwäbische Zeitung calls it a common cliché in Swabia.