Advice for a Bad Speaker

In 1930 Kurt Tucholsky, writing as Peter Panter, published Ratschläge für einen schlechten Redner, advice for a bad speaker, in the Vossische Zeitung. It begins: Fang nie mit dem Anfang an -, sondern drei Meilen vor dem Anfang! Never start at the beginning, but three miles before it. It advises the bad speaker to read his speech from the page. Sprich nie unter anderthalb Stunden, sonst lohnt es gar nicht erst anzufangen. Never speak for less than an hour and a half, or it is not worth starting at all. A short final part gives advice for a good speaker: Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze. Main clauses, main clauses, main clauses. Klare Disposition im Kopf – möglichst wenig auf dem Papier. A clear outline in your head, as little as possible on paper.

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