An American woman. Married to a German man. How her husband is very direct. And about how Americans learn to be indirect, especially when giving negative feedback.
Warning ! This woman is a youtuber. And an American on top. So, she is more than a bit animated. And frankly, she could have made her points in about two minutes instead of seven and a half.
Berliners respond to the question “Are we Germans direct?”:
And one of the comments from a German: “When I was in high school, I can remember, another student gave a poorly-prepared presentation. Directly thereafter the teacher simply looked at him and said in English: “Well, that was complete shit.”
“Say what you do and do what you say”, that’s the motto of German engineer, Norber Rudat. I think 99.9% of Germans would agree with it.
But wait, wouldn’t everyone, from every culture, agree with it? Perhaps. But are other cultures as literal about it? And I don’t mean literal-minded, but instead meaning something literally as they say it.
For example, do Americans always mean exactly what they say? And do they always say exactly what they mean? What about other cultures: China, France, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico?
A notable historical example of a German company successfully using neutral, performance-focused feedback is Daimler-Benz (now Mercedes-Benz Group) during its process of historical reappraisal after World War II. In the 1980s, Daimler-Benz became one of the first German companies to appoint an independent commission of experts to conduct a scientific and objective study of its activities during the Nazi era.
This approach was marked by a clear separation of personal feelings from professional responsibility, with the company focusing on facts, accountability, and measurable actions rather than emotional statements or personal blame. The findings led to formal reparations and the establishment of the industry foundation “Remembrance, Responsibility and Future,” involving over 6,500 German companies. The process and communication were characterized by a neutral, unemotional tone, focusing on performance (in this case, historical accountability and reparations) rather than personal sentiment.
“Barsky discovered that the people who trained him (Russian KGB) did not have an authentic understanding of Americans, and he struggled at first with his assignment. While his instructions were to infiltrate political circles and get close to Brzezinski (National Security Advisor under US President Jimmy Carter), he was not given specific instructions on how he was supposed to accomplish that.
He also learned that while his English was excellent, he was very pushy and argumentative when dealing with people. He was shocked when he was confronted with this fact by a fed-up friend. He realized that he was essentially too East German to fit in.” From Wikipedia
See the CBS 60 Minutes story on Jack Barsky:
Jordan Peterson’s interview with Jack Barsky is extraordinarily fascinating:
German Engineering and Industrial Standards (DIN Norms, 20th Century). Germany’s reputation for engineering excellence is built on a culture of standardization, precision, and objective measurement:
The creation of DIN (Deutsches Institut für Normung) standards established clear, impersonal benchmarks for performance and quality. Evaluation and feedback in industry became a matter of meeting or exceeding these standards, not personal opinion.
Product and process evaluations are based on measurable criteria, with feedback delivered in technical, unemotional terms.
Der Vorleser (The Reader, 2008). In this adaptation of Bernhard Schlink’s novel, characters confront moral and legal dilemmas in postwar Germany. Courtroom scenes and personal discussions showcase direct, sometimes confrontational exchanges about justice and responsibility, but the characters strive to keep these discussions focused on the issues, not personal attacks.
Learn German with our street interviews: In this episode we deal with a common prejudice, namely: Germans are always very direct! We find out for you on the streets of Berlin whether this is actually always true and in which situations in particular.
YouTube comments:
“I’ll never forget when visiting a friend in Germany for the first time: He was with another friend and they saw a mutual acquaintance at a cafe. ‘We know that man, we went to school together.’ ‘Want to go over and say hello?’ ‘No. Later he became stupid, so we don’t talk to him anymore.’ I loved the blunt honesty.”
“I like how a lot of the people who said no said it very directly, and emphatically. Lol, I have German heritage, and it feels right.”
“Honestly, the directness in Germany as a precise way to tell things that need to be fastly adressed, instead of running in circles (or plainly just not speaking) to avoid offending someone like we in other coubtries do, makes my life easier as in my hometown in Latin America, in that way I find social rules way simpler, gets problems solved faster. On the other side, sometimes people (the least of them) confuse directness with plain aggression, there are things that simply are not needed to be told.”
In the series Tannbach (Line of Separation), Liesbeth Erler and her son Friedrich are depicted navigating the aftermath of World War II in a divided Germany. They face intense political and ethical disagreements within their community and families, yet strive to keep personal relationships intact despite ideological divides. The narrative shows characters arguing fiercely about substance—politics, survival, collaboration—but continuing to live and work together as neighbors and family members.