Reasons for Small Talk
If you type into Google „reasons for small talk“ or „why small talk“ or „purpose of small talk“, it will respond with numerous links to people – experts and amateurs – who typically state anywhere between five and ten reasons.
Small talk: Signals the mood of the other person; finds topics of common ground; fills in a communication vacuum; establishes trust; is a possible introduction to big talk topics; identifies issues which might be too sensitive to address; can communicate interest, care, even affection; allows one to overcome their own shyness.
But what about introverts, those who prefer to discuss topics of substance?
Willing to argue
The dictionary defines streitbar as follows: [constantly] prepared, having the will to, argue, with someone over something, to critically and activelydispute something; to fight for or about something, to take a stand for something or someone, a fighter; [older] prepared for battle; warrior-like, brave.
The adjective streitbar has a very positive connotation in the German language. In recalling famous persons one often reads the sentence Er war streitbar – he was streitbar.
Politicians are ever more frequently characterized as being streitbar. Streitbar does not mean that one seeks out conflicts in a negative sense. Rather, it means to stand up for ones beliefs, and not avoid serious confrontations.
Cocktail Party
Americans say: “There are three things you never address at a cocktail party: sex, politics, and religion.” All three are perceived as private or overly controversial for an occasion like a cocktail party, as a metaphor for information interactions.
Discussion of religion and politics could make some people feel that you are either in agreement with them or opposed, feelings which could provoke tense conversations. Discussing sports, weather and family are considered to be safe topics with which to begin a conversation.
English words used wrongly
Deutsche Welle – There are lots of English words the Germans use wrongly. A German “Public Viewing” is great fun. An English public viewing? Not so much. These are typical false friends.
Rachel Stewart takes a look at some English words that have taken on a whole new meaning in Germany. Rachel is on a mission to investigate the idiosyncrasies of daily life in Germany. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from beer to nudity to complicated grammar.
Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life.
More False Friends
Deutsche Welle – Languages borrow words from each other all the time. But if the meaning gets changed along the way, things can get pretty confusing. Meet the Germans presenter Rachel Stewart takes a look at some more English words that have been given a new meaning in Germany.
Rachel is on a mission to investigate the idiosyncrasies of daily life in Germany. Every two weeks she explores a new topic – from beer to nudity to complicated grammar.
Rachel moved from the UK to Germany in 2016. As a relative newcomer she casts a fresh eye over German clichés and shares her experiences of settling into German life. You’ll find more from Meet the Germans on YouTube or at dw.com/MeettheG
The Godfather
The book The Godfather was written by Mario Puzo and published in 1969. The story, which was later made into a trilogy of movies, focuses largely on the business and personal lives of an Italian mafia family living in New York. Some of the most famous quotes about the blending of business and personal include:
“Tom, don’t let anybody kid you. It’s all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of shit every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. Ok. But it’s personal as hell.
You know where I learned that from? The Don. My old man. The Godfather. If a bolt of lightning hit a friend of his, the old man would take it personal. He took my going into the Marines personal. That’s what makes him great. The Great Don. He takes everything personal like God.
He knows every feather that falls from the tail of a sparrow or however the hell it goes. Right? And you know something? Accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents as a personal insult.
He had long ago learned that society imposes insults that must be borne, comforted by the knowledge that in this world there comes a time when the most humble of men, if he keeps his eyes open, can take his revenge on the most powerful.
It was this knowledge that prevented the Don from losing the humility all his friends admired in him. When they come … they come at what you love. They made it personal when they shot Pop. It is not business, it’s personal.”
Limbaugh. Moore.
With a weekly audience of 15 million people, famous conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has the highest ranked radio talk show in America. Beyond being an outspoken promoter of conservative values, he has gained his notoriety by being the man who supposedly says what everyone is thinking, but are too afraid to say out loud.
On the other hand, many consider a lot of his remarks to be at the very least distasteful and inaccurate. Nevertheless, the controversy he stirs up has made him one of the most well paid media figures in America. In 1992, Limbaugh published his first book, The Way Things Ought to Be, followed by See, I Told You So in 1993. Both became number one on the New York Times Best Seller list, The Way Things Ought to Be remaining there for 24 weeks.
On the other side of the political spectrum is a man often described as being the left liberal counterpart to Rush Limbaugh: documentary filmmaker Michael Moore. Michael Moore has produced three of the top ten highest grossing documentary films of all times (Farenheit 9/11, Bowling for Columbine, and Sicko) all of which take a critical standpoint of various American laws and social policies in topics such as topics such as globalization, large corporations, assault weapon ownership, the Iraq War, the American health care system, and capitalism.
In 2005 Time magazine named Moore one of the world’s 100 most influential people. Moore’s films, and his ‘hands-on’ approach to getting evidence are so controversial that his films were all produced independently, largely from funding which he himself contributed or lobbied for. There are many who claim that he inaccurately represents issues by only supplying evidence to support his own point of view.
Small Talk as Big Talk
Big talk can come in the shape of small talk. A seemingly insignificant conversation can involve important information. One person would like to address important, even sensitive, topics without addressing them directly.
The hope is that the other party will respond accordingly, thus enabling the conversation to transition from small to big talk. In some cases, however, it is the intent of the one party to gain valuable information without the other party aware that they are divulging it.
Wily
Surreptitious: kept secret, especially because it would not be approved of. From Latin surreptitius: secretly and seize.
Sneaky: furtive, sly, reluctant.
Wily: skilled at gaining an advantage, especially deceitfully.
Clever: quick to understand, learn, and devise or apply ideas; intelligence. Derived from Middle English perhaps of Dutch or Low German origin. In the late 16th century, the term came to mean manually skillful. The sense of possessing mental agility dates to the early 1700s.