In 1930 Kurt Tucholsky, writing as Peter Panter, published Ratschläge für einen schlechten Redner, advice for a bad speaker, in the Vossische Zeitung. It begins: Fang nie mit dem Anfang an -, sondern drei Meilen vor dem Anfang! Never start at the beginning, but three miles before it. It advises the bad speaker to read his speech from the page. Sprich nie unter anderthalb Stunden, sonst lohnt es gar nicht erst anzufangen. Never speak for less than an hour and a half, or it is not worth starting at all. A short final part gives advice for a good speaker: Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze, Hauptsätze. Main clauses, main clauses, main clauses. Klare Disposition im Kopf – möglichst wenig auf dem Papier. A clear outline in your head, as little as possible on paper.
literature
Thinking While Speaking
Heinrich von Kleist’s essay Über die allmähliche Verfertigung der Gedanken beim Reden, On the gradual making of thoughts while speaking, was probably written in 1805 or 1806 and published only in 1878. It opens with advice to a friend. If you want to know something and cannot find it by thinking alone, speak about it mit dem nächsten Bekannten, der dir aufstößt, with the next acquaintance you happen to meet. Kleist turns a French saying into l’idee vient en parlant, the idea comes while speaking.
Kleist places this thinking aloud in a conversation with a friend, not in a formal meeting.
Rumpelstilzchen
German children learn the verse from the Grimm fairy tale Rumpelstilzchen, number 55 in their collection. The little man dances around a fire in the forest and sings: Ach, wie gut ist, dass niemand weiß, dass ich Rumpelstilzchen heiß! “Oh, how good that nobody knows that Rumpelstilzchen is my name!” His power over the queen lasts only as long as his name is his alone. A messenger overhears the verse in the forest, and the queen says the name. The little man cries out that the devil told her.
Siegfried’s Weak Spot
In the Nibelungenlied, the medieval epic written around 1200, the hero Siegfried bathed in dragon’s blood and cannot be wounded, except for one spot on his back where a linden leaf lay. His enemy Hagen gets his wife Kriemhild to tell him where the spot is. He asks her to mark it on Siegfried’s clothing with a small cross, so that he can protect him in battle. With that knowledge Hagen kills Siegfried from behind with his own spear.
Called Master, Even Doctor
The first scene of Goethe’s Faust is set at night, with a scholar alone in his study. Habe nun, ach! Philosophie, / Juristerei und Medizin, / Und leider auch Theologie … He has studied philosophy, law, medicine and, unfortunately, theology too. Yet he says: Und bin so klug als wie zuvor. And I am no wiser than before. Heiße Magister, heiße Doktor gar. I am called Master, even Doctor. He sees that we can know nothing. He is cleverer, he says, than all the fools, Doktoren, Magister, Schreiber und Pfaffen, doctors, masters, clerks and priests.
Before the Law
In Franz Kafka’s parable Vor dem Gesetz (Before the Law), a man from the country asks a doorkeeper to let him into the law. The doorkeeper says: Ich bin mächtig. Und ich bin nur der unterste Türhüter. Von Saal zu Saal stehn aber Türhüter, einer mächtiger als der andere. I am powerful. And I am only the lowest doorkeeper. But from hall to hall there are doorkeepers, each more powerful than the other. The man waits for the rest of his life. At the end the doorkeeper tells him that this entrance was meant only for him. Ich gehe jetzt und schließe ihn. I am going now to close it. The parable was first published in 1915 and is part of Kafka’s novel Der Process (The Trial).
Not the Letter of Your Will
Heinrich von Kleist wrote Prinz Friedrich von Homburg in 1809 and 1810. Before the battle of Fehrbellin the prince is told not to attack without an explicit order. He attacks anyway and wins. He is sentenced to death for disobedience. Near the end of the play the old colonel Kottwitz defends him before the Elector. Herr, das Gesetz, das höchste, oberste, / Das wirken soll, in deiner Feldherrn Brust, / Das ist der Buchstab deines Willens nicht. Sir, the highest law that should work in your general’s breast is not the letter of your will. Does the Elector want to make the army a tool, he asks, gleich dem Schwerte, / Das tot in deinem goldnen Gürtel ruht, like the sword that lies dead in your golden belt? The Elector asks in return: Meinst du das Glück werd immerdar, wie jüngst, / Mit einem Kranz den Ungehorsam lohnen? Do you think luck will always reward disobedience with a wreath, as it did just now?
Here I Am Human
In the scene Vor dem Tor (Outside the Town Gate) in Goethe’s Faust, the people of the town walk out into the countryside on Easter Sunday. Faust watches them come aus Handwerks- und Gewerbesbanden, out of the bonds of craft and trade, and aus dem Druck von Giebeln und Dächern, out of the pressure of gables and roofs. Faust, the learned doctor, says: Hier ist des Volkes wahrer Himmel, / Zufrieden jauchzet groß und klein: / Hier bin ich Mensch, hier darf ich’s sein! Here is the people’s true heaven. High and low cheer, content. Here I am human, here I may be.
The Chief Clerk at the Bedroom Door
Gregor Samsa, a traveling salesman, wakes up as an insect and misses his early train. Soon the doorbell rings at his family’s apartment. Gregor brauchte nur das erste Grußwort des Besuchers zu hören und wußte schon, wer es war – der Prokurist selbst. Gregor only had to hear the visitor’s first word of greeting to know who it was. It was the chief clerk himself. Through the closed door of Gregor’s room, the chief clerk tells him: Ihre Leistungen in der letzten Zeit waren also sehr unbefriedigend. Your performance lately has been very unsatisfactory. Franz Kafka’s Die Verwandlung (The Metamorphosis) was first published in 1915.
Zettel’s Dream
Arno Schmidt wrote Zettel’s Traum from 1963 to 1969. It appeared in 1970 as a facsimile of his typescript, 1,334 large pages written by typewriter and by hand. The title alludes, among other things, to the weaver Zettel, known in English as Bottom, in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. In German, Zettel also means a slip of paper.