Strategic Management of What Is Revealed and Concealed

Italians consider it a basic social competence to manage what others know about you and your situation. This is not dishonesty — it is the practice of sharing the right information with the right people in the right contexts. What you tell your family about a work difficulty may be completely different in depth and tone from what you tell your business partner, which differs again from what you present to a client. At each level, the information is true, but it is calibrated to the relationship and the situation.

Sharing everything with everyone, regardless of context, is seen not as admirable transparency but as poor judgment. The skill lies in knowing what each relationship and context calls for, and adjusting accordingly. People who cannot manage their information profile — who reveal too much to the wrong audiences — are perceived as socially unsophisticated.

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