The depth of relationship between feedback giver and receiver determines how direct and demanding feedback can appropriately be. Within strong relationships built on trust, demonstrated care, and developmental commitment, feedback can be remarkably direct—even harsh—because the relationship provides context that prevents it from being received as attack. The recipient understands that the giver cares about their development and offers criticism as gift rather than weapon. Conversely, feedback between people lacking relationship foundation must be much more careful, indirect, and gentle.
Direct criticism from someone with whom no relationship exists may be received as hostile regardless of intent. This means that building relationship is prerequisite to giving meaningful feedback. Attempting intensive feedback without relationship foundation damages rather than develops. Invest in relationship before expecting substantive feedback to be possible.
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