Relational Standing Archives - understand-culture

Chasing Han Xin

Han Xin joined Liu Bang’s army but held only a minor post. He talked often with the chancellor Xiao He, who thought him remarkable. At Nanzheng, dozens of officers deserted, and Han Xin left too. Xiao He rode after him without telling Liu Bang. Back in camp, he told the angry king: “Generals are easy to find. As for Han Xin, he is guoshi wushuang, without equal in the realm.”

Liu Bang offered to make Han Xin a general. Xiao He said that would not keep him. Liu Bang agreed to make him grand general, with an altar and a ceremony on a chosen day. “The generals were all pleased, each thinking he would be grand general. When the appointment came, it was Han Xin, and the whole army was astonished.” (Records of the Grand Historian)

The Letter to Han of Jingzhou

In a letter to Han Chaozong of Jingzhou, the poet Li Bai quoted a saying of the scholars of his day: sheng bu yong feng wanhu hou, dan yuan yi shi Han Jingzhou. “In life, there is no need to be made a lord of ten thousand households. One only wishes to know Han of Jingzhou.”

People’s Daily dates the letter to 734, when Li Bai was 34 and living in Anlu. He asked Han to recommend him for office. The letter brought him neither a post nor a meeting.

Old Friend of the Chinese People

On July 20, 2023, Xi Jinping received Henry Kissinger in Beijing. “You have visited China more than a hundred times,” he said.

After Kissinger’s death in November 2023, the Foreign Ministry called him “an old friend and good friend of the Chinese people, a pioneer and builder of China-US relations.” People’s Daily quoted the same formula. The Foreign Ministry added: “The Chinese people value feeling and loyalty. We will not forget old friends.”

The Head as a Pledge

In the Water Margin, Lin Chong comes to Liangshan to join the outlaws. Zhu Gui explains the rule to him: “Whenever a hero joins, he must hand in a toumingzhuang. He goes down the mountain, kills a man and presents the head. Then there is no suspicion of him. This is called a toumingzhuang.” The leader Wang Lun gives Lin Chong three days to bring one.

Sayings on Familiarity

一回生，二回熟 Strangers the first time, acquaintances the second. The Handian dictionary explains: at the first meeting people feel like strangers, at the next meeting they know each other. Its example comes from Zhou Libo’s novel The Hurricane: “We were strangers the first time, and now we know each other. Be sure to drop in.”

多个朋友多条路 One more friend, one more road.

Letters of Introduction

In the early 1980s, a traveler needed a jieshaoxin, a letter of introduction from a public body, to stay at a guesthouse. Without one, a person could not get a room and might even be detained as a mangliu, a drifter, and sent home. From the 1990s on, people gradually stopped needing such letters to check in.

Strong Ties

In a 1988 survey in Tianjin, the sociologist Bian Yanjie found that jobs were obtained through strong ties more often than through weak ties. Job seekers often reached their helpers through an intermediary to whom both sides had strong ties, and those who used such indirect ties got better jobs. He published the study in 1997 in the American Sociological Review as “Bringing Strong Ties Back In.”

Trust Without Contracts

In Rural China (乡土中国), the sociologist Fei Xiaotong describes rural society as a society of people who know one another. There, he writes, “trust does not rest on respect for contracts.” It comes from “the reliability of knowing the rules of conduct so well that one acts without thinking.”

Acquaintances, he notes, say: “We are all acquaintances. A greeting is enough, why say more?” In modern society people fear that “the spoken word is no proof,” so “they make a mark and sign their names. Only then does law begin.”

Trusting Strangers

In January 2013, the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences released its Blue Book of Social Mentality. Its survey of city residents found that fewer than half believed that most people in society can be trusted. Only 20 to 30 percent trusted strangers. More than 70 percent said they did not dare to trust strangers.

The Vocabulary of Acquaintance

熟人 An acquaintance, a person one knows well. Its opposite is 生人, a stranger, literally a “raw person.”

靠谱 Reliable, trustworthy. Said of a person who does things in a sensible way.

拉关系 To pull connections. To make friends with someone one barely knows, for a purpose.

走后门 To go through the back door. To get things done through improper private connections.

在家靠父母，出门靠朋友 At home, rely on parents. Away from home, rely on friends.