In Loriot’s cartoon sketch Feierabend, one of his Szenen einer Ehe (Scenes from a Marriage), a husband sits in his armchair while his wife cleans the home. He wants to do nothing at all. The line appears in collections of Loriot’s best-known quotations: Ich möchte nur hier sitzen! I just want to sit here!
television
Paid to Make Contacts
In 2022 Patricia Schlesinger, director of the public broadcaster rbb, was accused of nepotism, Vetternwirtschaft. Among the allegations was an adviser paid at a daily rate of 1,000 euros to connect her with important figures in the capital. She resigned in August 2022, and the rbb board then dismissed her without notice.
Buying Your Way In
Kir Royal, Helmut Dietl’s series about Munich society, first aired on 22 September 1986. The glue manufacturer Heinrich Haffenloher, played by Mario Adorf, wants to appear in the gossip column. He tells the reporter Baby Schimmerlos: Ich scheiß’ dich sowas von zu mit meinem Geld, dass du keine ruhige Minute mehr hast. I will bury you in so much of my money that you will never have a quiet minute again.
Two Gentlemen in One Bathtub
Herren im Bad, gentlemen in the bath, is one of Loriot’s best-known sketches. It first appeared in his television series Loriot, which ARD began to broadcast in 1976. Herr Müller-Lüdenscheidt and Dr. Klöbner end up in the same hotel bathtub, because Dr. Klöbner got the room number wrong. Neither man gives way. They argue over whether the rubber duck may go into the water. Die Ente bleibt draußen! The duck stays outside! In the end they compete over who can stay under water longer. At the end a third man appears and asks: Ist das hier Zimmer 107? Is this room 107?
The Critic Who Refused the Prize
Marcel Reich-Ranicki hosted the television program Das Literarische Quartett from 1988 to 2001 and was known as the Literaturpapst, the pope of literature. On 11 October 2008 he was to receive the German Television Prize for his life’s work. On stage, he refused it. He cited the Blödsinn, den wir hier heute Abend zu sehen bekommen haben, the nonsense we have seen here this evening.
Plain Speaking on Prime Time
On 13 February 2025, before the federal election, the public broadcaster ZDF aired its election forum Klartext, plain speaking. The chancellor candidates Olaf Scholz, Friedrich Merz, Robert Habeck and Alice Weidel each faced questions from citizens in the studio. During Friedrich Merz’s turn, a question came from Thyssenkrupp, where employees feared mass layoffs: Wie wollen sie uns helfen? How do you want to help us?
You Know Me
On 1 September 2013 Angela Merkel faced her challenger Peer Steinbrück in the televised debate before the federal election. During the debate she said: Sie kennen mich ja … You know me, after all. A Belgian newspaper reported that she added that Germany had had four good years. In surveys published by Statista, about 81 percent called her competent in 2013. In 2021, after eight more years in office, almost 80 percent still did.
Too Familiar
In August 2022, the Hamburger Abendblatt criticized the television host Kai Pflaume. That he said du to the candidates on his quiz show might still be acceptable, the writer said. But he also addressed an older woman from the studio audience, a stranger to him, with du and her first name. The newspaper called it das plump-vertrauliche Du, the crudely familiar du.
Sie in the Bathtub
In Loriot’s cartoon sketch Herren im Bad, first broadcast on 15 June 1978, Dr. Klöbner and Herr Müller-Lüdenscheidt find themselves in the same hotel bathtub, because Dr. Klöbner got the room number wrong. The two men argue in a measured tone, addressing each other as Sie. Wissen Sie, dass viele Menschen überhaupt kein Bad besitzen? Do you know that many people do not own a bath at all? Sie lassen sofort die Ente zu Wasser! You will put the duck in the water at once!
We Ask You to Excuse the Error
In September 2024 a contestant on Wer wird Millionär? faced this question. Who did Germans google even more often than Taylor Swift in 2023, in the category of international personalities? None of the four answers was correct. She dropped from 32,000 to 500 euros. The broadcaster RTL reviewed the question and admitted the mistake. Wir bitten, den Fehler zu entschuldigen. We ask you to excuse the error. The contestant was given the chance to play again in a later special edition.