Conflict Resolution Archives - Page 4 of 16

The Evil Neighbor

In Act 4 of Friedrich Schiller’s play Wilhelm Tell, a man named Stüssi says: Ja, wohl dem, der sein Feld bestellt in Ruh, / Und ungekränkt daheim sitzt bei den Seinen. Yes, happy is the man who tills his field in peace and sits at home, unharmed, with his family.

Tell answers: Es kann der Frömmste nicht im Frieden bleiben, / Wenn es dem bösen Nachbar nicht gefällt. The most pious man cannot live in peace if it does not please his evil neighbor.

The line is often quoted in a slightly different form, in Frieden and Nachbarn.

Words for Trouble

der Störenfried — the disturber of the peace. A person who troubles the calm of a group.

der Streithammel — the quarrel ram. A person who likes to argue.

Der Haussegen hängt schief. — The house blessing hangs crooked. There is trouble at home.

Es herrscht dicke Luft. — There is thick air. The mood is tense.

Nine Steps Down

German conflict training often uses the nine stages of escalation described by Friedrich Glasl. They fall into three levels. In the first, both sides can still win. In the second, one wins and the other loses. In the third, both lose. The last stage is called Gemeinsam in den Abgrund, together into the abyss.

A training handout on violence in medical practices, on the website of the national association of statutory health insurance physicians, lists the nine stages. It quotes the first rule of a state accident insurer: Wehret den Anfängen! Stop it at the start. A regional sports federation teaches club officials that at the second stage, eine sachliche (!) Auseinandersetzung, a factual discussion, could still end the conflict.

The Wire-Mesh Fence

In 1999 Regina Zindler of Auerbach in Saxony took a dispute with her neighbor to Richterin Barbara Salesch, a court show on the channel Sat.1. It was about a snowberry bush, a Knallerbsenstrauch, at her Maschendrahtzaun, her wire-mesh fence. Her claim was dismissed.

Stefan Raab made a song out of her Saxon pronunciation of the word. Maschendrahtzaun spent six weeks at number one in the German charts. Fans besieged her property, stole parts of the fence and damaged her house. She moved to Berlin and returned to Saxony only years later.

Pupils Who Settle Disputes

Hamburg’s school authority runs a program in which trained older pupils mediate conflicts among younger pupils. They are called Streitschlichter, dispute settlers. The program seeks Lösungen, bei denen es keine Verlierer gibt, solutions with no losers.

Hamburg’s minimum standards of 2021 set the training for pupil mediators at, as a rule, 40 hours. Taking part is voluntary. The standards name one benefit for the adults. Pädagogische Kräfte werden von Alltagskonflikten entlastet. Teachers are relieved of everyday conflicts. In Saxony, experienced teachers have supported schools in training pupil mediators since 2002.

The Question in Every Lawsuit

Since July 2012, a German statement of claim should state whether mediation or another out-of-court procedure was tried before the lawsuit was filed. It should also say whether there are reasons against such a procedure. The rule is in § 253 of the Code of Civil Procedure. It came with the law to promote mediation.

The law says soll, should, not muss, must.

Conciliation Before the Lawsuit

In 2024 Bavaria’s highest regional court, the Bayerisches Oberstes Landesgericht, ruled that a lawsuit between two neighbors in a Munich apartment building was inadmissible. One had insulted the other during an argument in August 2020. The other sued for at least 1,000 euros in damages. He had not first gone through the conciliation procedure that Bavarian law requires.

Federal law allows the states to make certain lawsuits admissible only after an attempt at conciliation. These include some claims between neighbors and insults to personal honor that did not appear in the press or on air. In Bavaria the conciliator is a notary or a lawyer. In other states it is often a Schiedsperson, an honorary local official.

A Rhineland-Palatinate brochure with a foreword by the state’s justice minister carries the title Schlichten ist besser als Richten, settling is better than judging.

Care Before a Quick Shot

In September 2022, politicians from the opposition and from the governing coalition pressed Chancellor Olaf Scholz to send tanks to Ukraine faster. Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann of the FDP, a coalition party, asked: Auf was um Himmels willen warten wir noch? What in heaven’s name are we still waiting for? Scholz described his course as besonnen und entschieden, level-headed and decisive. On 17 February 2023 he explained his approach at the Munich Security Conference: Und bei allem Handlungsdruck, den es ohne Zweifel gibt: In dieser entscheidenden Frage gilt: Sorgfalt vor Schnellschuss, Zusammenhalt vor Solovorstellung. For all the pressure to act, which no doubt exists, this rule applies: care before a quick shot, unity before solo performances. He added that support had to be set up from the start so …, dass wir sie lange durchhalten, so that it can be kept up for a long time. By then, Germany had also agreed to deliver Western battle tanks.

The Year of Separation

A German who wants a divorce must normally wait. Under § 1566 of the Civil Code, a marriage is presumed to have failed wenn die Ehegatten seit einem Jahr getrennt leben, when the spouses have lived apart for one year and both want the divorce or one agrees. If one spouse does not agree, the period is three years. Germans call this the Trennungsjahr, the year of separation. A legal advice site explains its purpose: Das Einhalten des Trennungsjahres soll übereilte Scheidungen verhindern. The year is meant to prevent hasty divorces. Couples can also separate inside one apartment. They must then keep separate households, with no shared bed, meals, shopping or laundry. A divorce before the year is over is possible only in cases of severe hardship, such as violence, and the courts set a high bar for it.

Every Unit Signs for Its Part

In a German federal ministry, every matter has one lead unit. The Joint Rules of Procedure of the Federal Ministries give the lead to the unit that is mainly responsible under the distribution of business. In case of doubt, the ministry’s organization division decides. The lead unit then decides which other units take part. Co-signing, the Mitzeichnung, is reserved for matters of importance. Durch Mitzeichnung wird die fachliche Verantwortung für den vertretenen Aufgabenbereich übernommen. By co-signing, a unit takes professional responsibility for its own area. The file must show which units worked on the matter, co-signed it and signed it. If ministries still disagree after a personal attempt to settle the matter, the cabinet paper must set out the dispute, together with proposed solutions.