The Person at the Top Decides — Respect That
When you’re working with Syrians, it’s essential to understand where decision authority actually sits — and it’s almost always with the most senior person in the room or in the organization. This could be the father in a family business, the department head in a company, or the most respected elder in a community. This isn’t just organizational structure; it carries genuine moral weight. The senior figure is expected to decide, and others are expected to follow once the decision is made. If you want to influence an outcome, going around the decision-maker or appealing to subordinates will backfire. You need to find the appropriate path to the person who actually holds authority and engage them with genuine respect. Don’t expect the senior figure to open their decision up for public debate or to justify it at length — that’s not how legitimate authority works here.
The Real Decision Happens Before the Meeting
Don’t expect a formal meeting with a Syrian counterpart to be where the decision actually gets made. By the time there’s an official gathering or a formal announcement, the real decision work has already happened — through private conversations, informal soundings with trusted advisors, and careful preparation of alignment before the formal occasion. The announcement is the last step, not the first. If you want to shape the outcome, you need to be part of that earlier, invisible process — before the formal occasion. Build relationships with the people the decision-maker consults. Have your conversations early and through the right channels. Showing up to a meeting expecting to make your case and walk away with a decision the same day will almost always disappoint you. The groundwork has to be laid beforehand, through the informal channels where decisions are actually shaped.
Who You Know Is How Things Get Done
In Syria, getting access to the right decision-maker — or getting a decision to go the right way — depends heavily on who you know and who can vouch for you. This is what wasta means, and it’s not simply a polite word for corruption; it’s how the system actually functions. A recommendation from a trusted mutual contact opens doors that formal credentials and cold approaches simply cannot. If you don’t have the right relationships, your first practical task is to build them — or to find someone who has them and can bridge you to where you need to be. This means investing in relationships before you need them for anything specific, because Syrians invest in relationships continuously and take those investments seriously. When a consequential decision needs to be made, the quality of your relational network is what determines how much access and influence you actually have.
A Decision Reflects on Everyone, Not Just You
When a Syrian is weighing a significant decision, they’re not thinking only about personal benefit or practical outcome. They’re thinking about what the decision will mean for their family’s reputation, what their community will make of it, and whether it reflects well on the people associated with them. Family honor is a genuine moral consideration, not just social pressure to be managed. This means that a proposal that looks excellent on its own terms but could embarrass someone’s family or create a perception of impropriety will encounter resistance that has nothing to do with the merits you’re presenting. If you can frame what you’re offering in terms of how it serves the family’s or community’s honor — not just individual gain — you’ll find a much more receptive response. Think in terms of “what this means for us,” not just “what this means for you.”
Their Pace Is Deliberate, Not Evasive — Work With It
If your Syrian counterpart seems to be taking a long time to decide, resist the instinct to interpret that as a soft “no” or as evasion. Patient deliberation is not a delay tactic here; it’s a sign that the decision is being taken seriously. The Arabic saying that haste is associated with the devil is not just an expression — it reflects a genuine operating principle that a rushed decision is probably a poorly made one. Significant decisions need time for the right people to be consulted, for positions to settle, and for sufficient alignment to develop. Your role in this process is to stay engaged and to keep the relationship warm — not to apply pressure for a faster answer. Pushing for an accelerated decision is more likely to produce a cautious refusal or an evasive delay than a genuine agreement. The process is moving even when it appears quiet; trust that.
Important Decisions Get Passed Upward
Even when you’re dealing with someone who seems to have clear authority over an issue, don’t be surprised when they need to consult a more senior person before committing. In Syrian culture, consequential decisions are ideally made at the level of authority that can bear full responsibility for them — and that level is almost always higher than you might initially expect. Deciding alone on something significant carries personal risk; involving or deferring to a higher authority legitimizes the outcome and shares the responsibility. This connects to a deeper frame as well: even at the highest levels, decision-makers understand that outcomes are never fully within human control — inshallah is a genuine expression of that understanding, not a throwaway phrase. Work with this rather than against it: identify who ultimately holds the decision, and direct your most important relationship-building and advocacy toward that person.
“No” Rarely Sounds Like “No” — Learn to Read the Signals
In Syrian communication, a direct and clear “no” is rarely how disagreement or refusal is expressed — particularly when the relationship matters or when someone’s face needs to be protected. Instead, you’ll hear things like “we’ll think about it,” “this may be a little difficult,” “God willing,” or a warm and encouraging response that somehow never produces a concrete commitment. A change of subject, a story about a related complication, or an extended conversation about logistics that never quite gets to a decision: these are how uncomfortable positions get communicated indirectly. If you need to understand where someone truly stands, pay close attention to what they don’t do and what gently doesn’t happen, not just to what’s said. And if you need to deliver a difficult message yourself — a refusal, a correction, a serious concern — find a trusted intermediary or a gentle indirect approach. Saying it straight out, however honest, risks damaging the very relationship you’ll need for everything that comes after.